This is day 4 of no nicotine for me. Used ~1 can/day for 4 years. I'm in medical school and am sick of being a fucking hypocrite. What kind of doctor uses nicotine? How can anybody respect a person who tells others to stop harming themselves, but then sneaks away and does the same thing? The worst part of it all was the thought that I was a hypocrite. I can't take that. I am done for good. The fog is killer; no concentration, constantly frustrated and angry, thoughts running in circles: "I need my concentration to study. I have an exam next Monday. How am I going to learn all of this shit if I can't focus? How am I going to focus without nicotine?" You know what, fuck you, you conniving addict. This shit sucks, but I am going to push through. I only have to suffer once; if I cave, the suffering will only repeat. I can still learn this shit, I can pass my exam, I will beat nicotine, and I will be not only a better doctor as a result, but a stronger person. One day at a time, one page at a time; I've got this. And, once again, you can fuck off nicotine.
