It's been 10 hours, 6 minutes, and 12 seconds since I last had any nicotine. And it was half the amount, at that (50/50 can of Smokey Mountain and Copenhagen Mint Long Cut).
I went to bed last night with a plan ... a plan to quit chewing. I made it through ALL day yesterday without a pure Copenhagen dip -- I chewed a full can of 50/50 mix -- meaning I only chewed half a can of Cope yesterday. That's half the amount of my normal can-a-day.
I was spacey as can be all day yesterday ... completely out of it. I wanted to throw in a real dip so bad. But I forced myself to stick to the 50/50 mix.
Today? Man ... I am so out of it right now. I feel stoned. I feel like I'm in a dream. I feel detached. I feel like this isn't real life. I am confused ... I just don't even know what to think. I won't be the least bit productive today. And it's a Monday, of all days.
Is that how you all felt on day 1, too?
Some 10 years ago I stopped this terrible habit for 8 months. It was incredible. I still remember how great I felt once I got over the hump. I also remember how awful the withdrawals were. I'm back ... again. But you know what? This will be the last time I have to deal with nicotine withdrawals.
I AM DONE!
I am 34 years old, with a wife and two young children -- a 2.5 year old daughter and a son that just turned 1. I've always used dip as a crutch, to get me through everything ... no matter what it was. And that's led to a 15+ year habit that, up until the end there, meant me having a dip in my mouth 99% of my waking hours. I would take it out when I needed to eat or when I needed to put a new one in.
It's time. This is my day 1. And I look forward to looking back at this post one day in the future and saying, "holy crap -- I did it!!"