Day 38 update and observations from previous week...
It's funny as my quit grows that the nic bitch still speaks to me, but her messages and timing are strategic. It comes when you least expect it. Like a thought that pops into my head telling myself "quit being such a pussy". It comes from out of nowhere, totally unexpected, and in broad daylight. I suspect this is because I have successfully separated my triggers from my previous actions and rewired my subconscious. The bitch has to find alternative routes to deliver her manipulation. The key for me is how to spot them and her, but it's not easy.
Serious challenges coming up for me, first is an annual visit to the Indy 500 for the weekend being around a bunch of addicts like myself, but full disclosure I was the last in my immediate group to KTC (but some of our group still smoke). But addiction will still be everywhere around me. Drunk, sloppy, shitfaced hillbillies with shit and cigs in their mouths will be everywhere. I will be stronger than them no doubt, but keeping myself from pulling people to the side and preaching to them about what I've learned will be my challenge.
Next challenge is more significant, the very next weekend taking my annual guys fishing trip to the UP in Michigan where everyone dips and smokes, including my best friend who I'm driving up and back with. This will be the real deal...I'm concerned and have yet to formulate my strategy but I think next weekends Indy 500 weekend will give me some tools in my toolbox on how to deal in public events like this.
Every day gets slightly better than the last. Dealing with my most serious career challenges also that started right around day 5 of my quit and continue through my quit helps strengthen me that I am able to accomplish this so far.
I've been quiet but with these next two big challenges coming up, I'll likely be reaching out more for support.
Derv