Stats: 37 years old, married to a smoking hot babe 12 years, 3 awesome kids, 25y Copenhagen 1 can per day....
Talk about reading my own story..... It's all over this site!
Still in the fog a bit at Day 11 (but WAY better than a week ago) so this will likely not be real coherent or in any order, but some thoughts.....
"Watch out for triggers...." - I thought about this and it absolutely made sense. One thing I realized is that this wasn't going to help me out much because my entire life/day was a trigger. I'm not trying to be cute here, but if I wasn't sleeping or eating I was dipping.... I likely never went more than 30-45 minutes at a time WITHOUT a dip - ever.
I had no idea how much of a depressant this stuff really is... I've had more energy the last week than I've ever had.
My decision to quit came mainly from a need to prove something to myself. Like a lot of guys on here I've pretty much been able to get, have, achieve, etc. whatever I set my mind to - with hard work, blood, sweat, tears, etc.... and Q-U-I-T was a four letter word that I didn't allow myself to consider or even my kids to utter.... Somewhat ironic, no?
But I've never been able to whip the nic-bitch. And honestly never thought I would unitl I found this site.... I've had a revelation the last week about the word QUIT - and I'm proud to say that I am a QUITTER and will be continuously QUITTING for the rest of my life.... I will continue QUITTING all sorts of other useless B.S. in my life too - The thing that was gnawing at me the most was mainly, all of the positive opportunities in my life - whether financial, physical, spiritual, relationship, family, etc - that haven't been taken advantage of.
Why?
Because my f'n DIP SCHEDULE took priority....EVERYTHING else was secondary and a "B" priority.... A ridiculous weed in a cardboard tin with a silver lid on it got taken care of first.... If there was TIME for any of the other things in my life - well -they got seconds.
I've easily lost 10 years worth of extra productivity and BLESSING in my life for me and my family - whether financial, physical, spiritual, relationship, family, etc - and I simply can't look them in the eye any more and not let them have the best of me all day every day and the most BLESSED AND FULFILLED LIFE I can provide them - with the Good Lord's help.
I feel better.... Certainly caving isn't an option after this posting LOL .... And I need that pressure so bring it.
Last thought - Dad used to tell me something that I thought was catchy -
EVERYBODY has ....... had ....... have ....... problems.
A real man (or woman) doesn't need to medicate himself to "get through it".... I have apparently not been a real man for some time - that ended Nov. 30, 2009. Thanks to this community.....
