Dan's Intro

[tsj12b]

This site is amazing. Not the just the site, but all of the dedicated people on it. I no longer feel alone. I'm 44 years old now, but back when I was 15, my buddy handed me a little round tin of some stuff I had never seen or heard of before. For about six months I loved getting a little buzz from that Cope. We would see how giant a dip we could squeeze in our mouths. The buzz and dip didn't last. I started smoking and quit the dip. I smoked for about 7 years before going completely clean for a few years. Then, the dip re-appeared. For the last 16 or so years, my addiction has grown to more than a can and a half a day. There were a few brief stoppages in there, usually prompted by some cancer scare. You know, the sore throat or the strange sore in your mouth that makes you stop for a few days. Usually all it took to get me back in the can was a few drinks. I usually only dipped at work or with a few drinks on the weekend, but then I would find ways to do it on days off. Gotta go to Home Depot. Gotta take the kids to sports and hide out. What a douche. I can't tell you what is different this time, but it is. I'm out of the fog and can say that I am never, ever touching tobacco or anything containing nicotine again. I should be proud of myself. I have 62 days in and have even quit my 2 bags of salty sunflower seed per day habit I developed. However, I am consumed by thoughts of early death. Thoughts of not seeing my kids grow up. Thoughts of cancer. I don't know if this anxiety will lift or is it just something I will be haunted by due to a life of stupid decisions. Either way, glad I found you guys...Dan

What went wrong brother? Read this again and how excited you were about regaining control of your life. Complacency is a mother fucker. It's kinda easy when we're excited about the QUIT, meeting new people, reading everything we can and the newness and pride of QUITTING, but 200+ days in something changed. From what I've read so far, you didn't dip, but that Nic Bitch still found a way in. I'll be honest, I'm pretty fucking pissed off about you caving and pissing all over our group. I truly thought you were a Titan and it hurts to find out you weren't.

Get in your new group and remember that burning desire to QUIT that you had and read this post that you made and the others here in your Intro. Find out why you went back to the drink, since we both know that's what led you to the Nic Bitch.

This trip allowed me the opportunity to be "normal" again and drink. As you've pointed out, I am not normal when it comes to alcohol. It's been proven over and over again. Unfortunately my complacency on both fronts led to a double cave. I had all the help in the world available to me but in my fucked up mind, I didn't need it. Thanks for bringing me back here.

In concert with KTC, you need to get hooked up with an AA meeting. When I joined I was a binge drinker that only drank on weekends, holidays, vacations, etc and could actually not drink for long periods of time with no withdrawal symptoms like DTs. I began attending AA and OA meetings to see that there were people just like me struggling with alcohol and food addictions. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic because only you know that. You may just need to go to meetings to put a face on your accountability instead of just these forums.

You are right. I am a binger / weekend warrior who is decades beyond where the party should have stopped. Thanks for showing an interest in me. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you and others who supported me did have an impact.

I'm not there yet Dano, but it seems that perhaps you're serious this time around. I hope so, for you and your families sake. PM me if you need some more digits and don't already have mine.

[danojeno]

This site is amazing. Not the just the site, but all of the dedicated people on it. I no longer feel alone. I'm 44 years old now, but back when I was 15, my buddy handed me a little round tin of some stuff I had never seen or heard of before. For about six months I loved getting a little buzz from that Cope. We would see how giant a dip we could squeeze in our mouths. The buzz and dip didn't last. I started smoking and quit the dip. I smoked for about 7 years before going completely clean for a few years. Then, the dip re-appeared. For the last 16 or so years, my addiction has grown to more than a can and a half a day. There were a few brief stoppages in there, usually prompted by some cancer scare. You know, the sore throat or the strange sore in your mouth that makes you stop for a few days. Usually all it took to get me back in the can was a few drinks. I usually only dipped at work or with a few drinks on the weekend, but then I would find ways to do it on days off. Gotta go to Home Depot. Gotta take the kids to sports and hide out. What a douche. I can't tell you what is different this time, but it is. I'm out of the fog and can say that I am never, ever touching tobacco or anything containing nicotine again. I should be proud of myself. I have 62 days in and have even quit my 2 bags of salty sunflower seed per day habit I developed. However, I am consumed by thoughts of early death. Thoughts of not seeing my kids grow up. Thoughts of cancer. I don't know if this anxiety will lift or is it just something I will be haunted by due to a life of stupid decisions. Either way, glad I found you guys...Dan

What went wrong brother? Read this again and how excited you were about regaining control of your life. Complacency is a mother fucker. It's kinda easy when we're excited about the QUIT, meeting new people, reading everything we can and the newness and pride of QUITTING, but 200+ days in something changed. From what I've read so far, you didn't dip, but that Nic Bitch still found a way in. I'll be honest, I'm pretty fucking pissed off about you caving and pissing all over our group. I truly thought you were a Titan and it hurts to find out you weren't.

Get in your new group and remember that burning desire to QUIT that you had and read this post that you made and the others here in your Intro. Find out why you went back to the drink, since we both know that's what led you to the Nic Bitch.

This trip allowed me the opportunity to be "normal" again and drink. As you've pointed out, I am not normal when it comes to alcohol. It's been proven over and over again. Unfortunately my complacency on both fronts led to a double cave. I had all the help in the world available to me but in my fucked up mind, I didn't need it. Thanks for bringing me back here.

In concert with KTC, you need to get hooked up with an AA meeting. When I joined I was a binge drinker that only drank on weekends, holidays, vacations, etc and could actually not drink for long periods of time with no withdrawal symptoms like DTs. I began attending AA and OA meetings to see that there were people just like me struggling with alcohol and food addictions. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic because only you know that. You may just need to go to meetings to put a face on your accountability instead of just these forums.

You are right. I am a binger / weekend warrior who is decades beyond where the party should have stopped. Thanks for showing an interest in me. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you and others who supported me did have an impact.

[BazookaJoe]

This site is amazing. Not the just the site, but all of the dedicated people on it. I no longer feel alone. I'm 44 years old now, but back when I was 15, my buddy handed me a little round tin of some stuff I had never seen or heard of before. For about six months I loved getting a little buzz from that Cope. We would see how giant a dip we could squeeze in our mouths. The buzz and dip didn't last. I started smoking and quit the dip. I smoked for about 7 years before going completely clean for a few years. Then, the dip re-appeared. For the last 16 or so years, my addiction has grown to more than a can and a half a day. There were a few brief stoppages in there, usually prompted by some cancer scare. You know, the sore throat or the strange sore in your mouth that makes you stop for a few days. Usually all it took to get me back in the can was a few drinks. I usually only dipped at work or with a few drinks on the weekend, but then I would find ways to do it on days off. Gotta go to Home Depot. Gotta take the kids to sports and hide out. What a douche. I can't tell you what is different this time, but it is. I'm out of the fog and can say that I am never, ever touching tobacco or anything containing nicotine again. I should be proud of myself. I have 62 days in and have even quit my 2 bags of salty sunflower seed per day habit I developed. However, I am consumed by thoughts of early death. Thoughts of not seeing my kids grow up. Thoughts of cancer. I don't know if this anxiety will lift or is it just something I will be haunted by due to a life of stupid decisions. Either way, glad I found you guys...Dan

What went wrong brother? Read this again and how excited you were about regaining control of your life. Complacency is a mother fucker. It's kinda easy when we're excited about the QUIT, meeting new people, reading everything we can and the newness and pride of QUITTING, but 200+ days in something changed. From what I've read so far, you didn't dip, but that Nic Bitch still found a way in. I'll be honest, I'm pretty fucking pissed off about you caving and pissing all over our group. I truly thought you were a Titan and it hurts to find out you weren't.

Get in your new group and remember that burning desire to QUIT that you had and read this post that you made and the others here in your Intro. Find out why you went back to the drink, since we both know that's what led you to the Nic Bitch.

This trip allowed me the opportunity to be "normal" again and drink. As you've pointed out, I am not normal when it comes to alcohol. It's been proven over and over again. Unfortunately my complacency on both fronts led to a double cave. I had all the help in the world available to me but in my fucked up mind, I didn't need it. Thanks for bringing me back here.

In concert with KTC, you need to get hooked up with an AA meeting. When I joined I was a binge drinker that only drank on weekends, holidays, vacations, etc and could actually not drink for long periods of time with no withdrawal symptoms like DTs. I began attending AA and OA meetings to see that there were people just like me struggling with alcohol and food addictions. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic because only you know that. You may just need to go to meetings to put a face on your accountability instead of just these forums.

[danojeno]

This site is amazing. Not the just the site, but all of the dedicated people on it. I no longer feel alone. I'm 44 years old now, but back when I was 15, my buddy handed me a little round tin of some stuff I had never seen or heard of before. For about six months I loved getting a little buzz from that Cope. We would see how giant a dip we could squeeze in our mouths. The buzz and dip didn't last. I started smoking and quit the dip. I smoked for about 7 years before going completely clean for a few years. Then, the dip re-appeared. For the last 16 or so years, my addiction has grown to more than a can and a half a day. There were a few brief stoppages in there, usually prompted by some cancer scare. You know, the sore throat or the strange sore in your mouth that makes you stop for a few days. Usually all it took to get me back in the can was a few drinks. I usually only dipped at work or with a few drinks on the weekend, but then I would find ways to do it on days off. Gotta go to Home Depot. Gotta take the kids to sports and hide out. What a douche. I can't tell you what is different this time, but it is. I'm out of the fog and can say that I am never, ever touching tobacco or anything containing nicotine again. I should be proud of myself. I have 62 days in and have even quit my 2 bags of salty sunflower seed per day habit I developed. However, I am consumed by thoughts of early death. Thoughts of not seeing my kids grow up. Thoughts of cancer. I don't know if this anxiety will lift or is it just something I will be haunted by due to a life of stupid decisions. Either way, glad I found you guys...Dan

What went wrong brother? Read this again and how excited you were about regaining control of your life. Complacency is a mother fucker. It's kinda easy when we're excited about the QUIT, meeting new people, reading everything we can and the newness and pride of QUITTING, but 200+ days in something changed. From what I've read so far, you didn't dip, but that Nic Bitch still found a way in. I'll be honest, I'm pretty fucking pissed off about you caving and pissing all over our group. I truly thought you were a Titan and it hurts to find out you weren't.

Get in your new group and remember that burning desire to QUIT that you had and read this post that you made and the others here in your Intro. Find out why you went back to the drink, since we both know that's what led you to the Nic Bitch.

This trip allowed me the opportunity to be "normal" again and drink. As you've pointed out, I am not normal when it comes to alcohol. It's been proven over and over again. Unfortunately my complacency on both fronts led to a double cave. I had all the help in the world available to me but in my fucked up mind, I didn't need it. Thanks for bringing me back here.

[tsj12b]

This site is amazing. Not the just the site, but all of the dedicated people on it. I no longer feel alone. I'm 44 years old now, but back when I was 15, my buddy handed me a little round tin of some stuff I had never seen or heard of before. For about six months I loved getting a little buzz from that Cope. We would see how giant a dip we could squeeze in our mouths. The buzz and dip didn't last. I started smoking and quit the dip. I smoked for about 7 years before going completely clean for a few years. Then, the dip re-appeared. For the last 16 or so years, my addiction has grown to more than a can and a half a day. There were a few brief stoppages in there, usually prompted by some cancer scare. You know, the sore throat or the strange sore in your mouth that makes you stop for a few days. Usually all it took to get me back in the can was a few drinks. I usually only dipped at work or with a few drinks on the weekend, but then I would find ways to do it on days off. Gotta go to Home Depot. Gotta take the kids to sports and hide out. What a douche. I can't tell you what is different this time, but it is. I'm out of the fog and can say that I am never, ever touching tobacco or anything containing nicotine again. I should be proud of myself. I have 62 days in and have even quit my 2 bags of salty sunflower seed per day habit I developed. However, I am consumed by thoughts of early death. Thoughts of not seeing my kids grow up. Thoughts of cancer. I don't know if this anxiety will lift or is it just something I will be haunted by due to a life of stupid decisions. Either way, glad I found you guys...Dan

What went wrong brother? Read this again and how excited you were about regaining control of your life. Complacency is a mother fucker. It's kinda easy when we're excited about the QUIT, meeting new people, reading everything we can and the newness and pride of QUITTING, but 200+ days in something changed. From what I've read so far, you didn't dip, but that Nic Bitch still found a way in. I'll be honest, I'm pretty fucking pissed off about you caving and pissing all over our group. I truly thought you were a Titan and it hurts to find out you weren't.

Get in your new group and remember that burning desire to QUIT that you had and read this post that you made and the others here in your Intro. Find out why you went back to the drink, since we both know that's what led you to the Nic Bitch.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Day 100. It's just like any other. It doesn't mean anything has changed and I'm all cured or anything. It does allow for a little reflection though. I came here one night feeling alone and ashamed of all the crap associated with my addiction. I was depressed and felt like I was the only one who was battling this stuff. This site scared me a bit because, 62 days into my quit when I came here, I wanted to forget about nicotine. However, almost immediately I felt tons of weight lifted from my shoulders. Here were others who has stupidly poisoned themselves, by the thousands. Here were others, fiends just like me, clawing their way out of the can. Terrific as that was, I still had an issue. That hole in my head where the nic used to live was a natural void where alcohol could flow. An already heavy drinker was trying to drown the nic bitch and that wasn't a good recipe. So, I quit that too. Every day after posting roll, I just head over to the alcohol quit group and do the same. It works for me. I look forward to spending many more hundreds of days here among you filthy quitters.

Congratulations on your accomplishment. Stay here and stay engaged. And stay clean!!!

Enjoy your day!

[danojeno]

Day 100. It's just like any other. It doesn't mean anything has changed and I'm all cured or anything. It does allow for a little reflection though. I came here one night feeling alone and ashamed of all the crap associated with my addiction. I was depressed and felt like I was the only one who was battling this stuff. This site scared me a bit because, 62 days into my quit when I came here, I wanted to forget about nicotine. However, almost immediately I felt tons of weight lifted from my shoulders. Here were others who has stupidly poisoned themselves, by the thousands. Here were others, fiends just like me, clawing their way out of the can. Terrific as that was, I still had an issue. That hole in my head where the nic used to live was a natural void where alcohol could flow. An already heavy drinker was trying to drown the nic bitch and that wasn't a good recipe. So, I quit that too. Every day after posting roll, I just head over to the alcohol quit group and do the same. It works for me. I look forward to spending many more hundreds of days here among you filthy quitters.

[Gabriel]

Dan, I'm glad you came clean to your wife. I know how hard that is. I dipped without my wife knowing several times, when she though I had quit. It has taken a few years to re-gain her full trust. Now, she is my strongest supporter in quitting nicotine. It feels good to be off the drug, and it feels good to not have anything to hide. Enjoy your freedom Dan. Enjoy your family. Something will take our lives eventually, and it may be cancer as a result of our past decisions. There's nothing we can do about that. But, one thing we know is we won't be introducing any more nicotine poison into our bodies, increasing those cancer odds - and that's huge for you and me both. Hang in there, take it one day at a time, and focus on the good stuff in life.

[FMBM707]

Thank you brothers in Quit. Thank you for sharing your stories and thank you for letting me know I can kill this. On the side, I can tell you that tonight I came clean to my wife about my addiction. She knew nothing of the realness. She knew she was betrayed, she knew I was sick, but she never knew the hold this terrible drug had on me. Tonight she knows that I have 62 days quit. Those days are for me.

Edit: and you know I posted roll!

Dan you get it! I can't give a higher complement than that...carry on!

That had to feel good coming clean to your wife- good work! Keep up the good fight Dan. Burn the Boat.

Quit on.

[Dagranger]

Thank you brothers in Quit. Thank you for sharing your stories and thank you for letting me know I can kill this. On the side, I can tell you that tonight I came clean to my wife about my addiction. She knew nothing of the realness. She knew she was betrayed, she knew I was sick, but she never knew the hold this terrible drug had on me. Tonight she knows that I have 62 days quit. Those days are for me.

Edit: and you know I posted roll!

Dan you get it! I can't give a higher complement than that...carry on!

[danojeno]

Thank you brothers in Quit. Thank you for sharing your stories and thank you for letting me know I can kill this. On the side, I can tell you that tonight I came clean to my wife about my addiction. She knew nothing of the realness. She knew she was betrayed, she knew I was sick, but she never knew the hold this terrible drug had on me. Tonight she knows that I have 62 days quit. Those days are for me.

Edit: and you know I posted roll!

[Gabriel]

Dan, thanks for your intro, and great decision to quit nicotine. Just stay quit no matter what. It's a matter of life an death. I understand the feelings of anxiety. I chewed for 23 years, and often wonder if I will discover cancer as a result. I have a wife of 17 years and a 7 year old son. I've been quit 25 days, and feel relatively good now. The first few days are really hard, but it starts getting better pretty quickly. Hang in there, you can get through this. I'm quit with you today brother.

[rdad]

Dan-
Welcome to KTC and the pre HoF 2014 October group! Read as much as you can. Share your own story, words of wisdom, opinion etc.- Get involved. Use your intro to document your journey of being quit and read other intros- both will help to strengthen your quit.

Quit on.

-Stevo

Wow, 62 days on your own. I made it 12 days alone and knew I couldn't make it one more day without help from people who had done what I was attempting to do. Today I posted day 280 and could have never stayed quit without this community and the friends I have made here and the support we give each other. You will find that quitting will get a lot easier the more you embrace this community. Here are thousands of different people all fighting for the same thing. Welcome Brother!

[FMBM707]

Dan-
Welcome to KTC and the pre HoF 2014 October group! Read as much as you can. Share your own story, words of wisdom, opinion etc.- Get involved. Use your intro to document your journey of being quit and read other intros- both will help to strengthen your quit.

Quit on.

-Stevo

[bigreddude44]

Holy smokes dude! 62 days on your own is impressive! I saw your roll post today. Welcome to the Titans of October!!!