Intro from NW Wisconsin

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I'm adding this here too ... after a 170+ day brother caved today (after leaning on me earlier in the week), I finally took a long, hard look at how I felt. I want to share it with any who care, who may gain insight, or who'll think I'm full of shit. Mostly, I'm putting it here because I may need to read it repeatedly as our quits progress ... or fail to:

I'll be honest here, this one stung. They all sting, but this one had a hornet's quality to it. I'll make a promise to each and every one of you. I will continue to pour my heart into supporting you and your quit. We are in this battle together, and I'll fight with you step for step. But if at this point in our battle you disregard all of your tools, ignore all of the talks, the PM's, the phone calls ... blow off all of the texts and cave? Fuck you. I will NOT support you on round two, because the ability to trust in you is out the window. We are bonded by this addiction, the power of accountability, the brotherhood shared here ... if you shit on all that I guarantee I won't tolerate it. Personally I can tell each and every one of you that you will not see me cave. I have slammed that door shut. To leave it open a crack with any excuse is total bullshit to me. Maybe it's because I'm a stubborn fucker, I don't know. I like to think it's because I believe in integrity. When I say something ... I mean it. I am too fucking strong in my stance against this poison to allow it back in my life, in any form. Along with all of this is a consequence. I will not support your weakness if you cave. Why would I? Why would you? Who is empowered by that? What new quitter wants to know there is a reset button? This shit is life and death ... it's been repeated often enough that you should feel it in your bones. The road to quit is littered with the bodies of the weak. This site has never hidden the fact that it is extreme in nature. I believe we all embraced that when we registered and wandered around for a bit. Those who don't believe in the extreme have NOT wandered the halls here, because if you had you'll know exactly what I talk of. If you want to know that I have your back regardless of your actions, then I'm not your man. I expect something from each and every one of you. I expect you to be a man of honor, and integrity. What more do we have but our word, our promise each day? A man, without his word, is nothing. You've no doubt heard this expression before. What does this mean to you, personally? Do you think about the commitment you've made by signing up with KTC? When you give your word, the other person(s) must be able to assume it's a done deal; it should be money in the bank, a promise with value. When you fail to follow through, your word now has no value. Do not expect me to lower my values down because you have. I flat out refuse to do that. And I suggest you don't get upset with others who feel the exact same way. They only react harshly because they see degradation in the value of a promise ... and that, my brothers ... that fucking sucks.

Great great post. Thank you Smeds. Thank you.

[FMBM707]

I'm adding this here too ... after a 170+ day brother caved today (after leaning on me earlier in the week), I finally took a long, hard look at how I felt. I want to share it with any who care, who may gain insight, or who'll think I'm full of shit. Mostly, I'm putting it here because I may need to read it repeatedly as our quits progress ... or fail to:

I'll be honest here, this one stung. They all sting, but this one had a hornet's quality to it. I'll make a promise to each and every one of you. I will continue to pour my heart into supporting you and your quit. We are in this battle together, and I'll fight with you step for step. But if at this point in our battle you disregard all of your tools, ignore all of the talks, the PM's, the phone calls ... blow off all of the texts and cave? Fuck you. I will NOT support you on round two, because the ability to trust in you is out the window. We are bonded by this addiction, the power of accountability, the brotherhood shared here ... if you shit on all that I guarantee I won't tolerate it. Personally I can tell each and every one of you that you will not see me cave. I have slammed that door shut. To leave it open a crack with any excuse is total bullshit to me. Maybe it's because I'm a stubborn fucker, I don't know. I like to think it's because I believe in integrity. When I say something ... I mean it. I am too fucking strong in my stance against this poison to allow it back in my life, in any form. Along with all of this is a consequence. I will not support your weakness if you cave. Why would I? Why would you? Who is empowered by that? What new quitter wants to know there is a reset button? This shit is life and death ... it's been repeated often enough that you should feel it in your bones. The road to quit is littered with the bodies of the weak. This site has never hidden the fact that it is extreme in nature. I believe we all embraced that when we registered and wandered around for a bit. Those who don't believe in the extreme have NOT wandered the halls here, because if you had you'll know exactly what I talk of. If you want to know that I have your back regardless of your actions, then I'm not your man. I expect something from each and every one of you. I expect you to be a man of honor, and integrity. What more do we have but our word, our promise each day? A man, without his word, is nothing. You've no doubt heard this expression before. What does this mean to you, personally? Do you think about the commitment you've made by signing up with KTC? When you give your word, the other person(s) must be able to assume it's a done deal; it should be money in the bank, a promise with value. When you fail to follow through, your word now has no value. Do not expect me to lower my values down because you have. I flat out refuse to do that. And I suggest you don't get upset with others who feel the exact same way. They only react harshly because they see degradation in the value of a promise ... and that, my brothers ... that fucking sucks.

If there was a welcome back parade every time a guy caved and came back there'd be cavers all over the place.

[Smeds]

I'm adding this here too ... after a 170+ day brother caved today (after leaning on me earlier in the week), I finally took a long, hard look at how I felt. I want to share it with any who care, who may gain insight, or who'll think I'm full of shit. Mostly, I'm putting it here because I may need to read it repeatedly as our quits progress ... or fail to:

I'll be honest here, this one stung. They all sting, but this one had a hornet's quality to it. I'll make a promise to each and every one of you. I will continue to pour my heart into supporting you and your quit. We are in this battle together, and I'll fight with you step for step. But if at this point in our battle you disregard all of your tools, ignore all of the talks, the PM's, the phone calls ... blow off all of the texts and cave? Fuck you. I will NOT support you on round two, because the ability to trust in you is out the window. We are bonded by this addiction, the power of accountability, the brotherhood shared here ... if you shit on all that I guarantee I won't tolerate it. Personally I can tell each and every one of you that you will not see me cave. I have slammed that door shut. To leave it open a crack with any excuse is total bullshit to me. Maybe it's because I'm a stubborn fucker, I don't know. I like to think it's because I believe in integrity. When I say something ... I mean it. I am too fucking strong in my stance against this poison to allow it back in my life, in any form. Along with all of this is a consequence. I will not support your weakness if you cave. Why would I? Why would you? Who is empowered by that? What new quitter wants to know there is a reset button? This shit is life and death ... it's been repeated often enough that you should feel it in your bones. The road to quit is littered with the bodies of the weak. This site has never hidden the fact that it is extreme in nature. I believe we all embraced that when we registered and wandered around for a bit. Those who don't believe in the extreme have NOT wandered the halls here, because if you had you'll know exactly what I talk of. If you want to know that I have your back regardless of your actions, then I'm not your man. I expect something from each and every one of you. I expect you to be a man of honor, and integrity. What more do we have but our word, our promise each day? A man, without his word, is nothing. You've no doubt heard this expression before. What does this mean to you, personally? Do you think about the commitment you've made by signing up with KTC? When you give your word, the other person(s) must be able to assume it's a done deal; it should be money in the bank, a promise with value. When you fail to follow through, your word now has no value. Do not expect me to lower my values down because you have. I flat out refuse to do that. And I suggest you don't get upset with others who feel the exact same way. They only react harshly because they see degradation in the value of a promise ... and that, my brothers ... that fucking sucks.

[Smeds]

Dropping This here so I don't have to find it again. Carry on ...

[Doc2quit4good]

165 days in of being quit like fuck. I've read so many stories of dip dreams, and cave dreams ... but I've been like the young pre-teen, waiting for his first pube (metaphorically speaking, you fuckers). Geez, I've gotten off easy ... I wonder why this hasn't happened to me? Every one else has had one or more it seems.

Last night was my cherry breaking. It was a cave dream, with a Cigar no less. I've probably had 10 cigars in my entire illustrious career of dumb-fuckedness. The details are not important, but the feeling of panic and shame I had upon sitting straight up in bed from a dead sleep were real. So was my wife's, "What the fuck are you doing?" Half-sleepy yell. I must've been talking in my sleep a little too. The best part of the whole thing was realizing it was just a dream ... and I'm not posting a day 1 in shame. 2nd best part was a strong memory of the dream, I believe right before I woke up ... my wife saying, "You know you just caved, right?" She gets it ...

See you on roll ...

It's great to see a guy get so upset about a cave dream. That tells us all here that you get it smeds. Next hump is to get over a cave dream that you woke up and still caved and then realize you didn't wake up yet... That's a killer.... Quit on dude!!!

[Smeds]

165 days in of being quit like fuck. I've read so many stories of dip dreams, and cave dreams ... but I've been like the young pre-teen, waiting for his first pube (metaphorically speaking, you fuckers). Geez, I've gotten off easy ... I wonder why this hasn't happened to me? Every one else has had one or more it seems.

Last night was my cherry breaking. It was a cave dream, with a Cigar no less. I've probably had 10 cigars in my entire illustrious career of dumb-fuckedness. The details are not important, but the feeling of panic and shame I had upon sitting straight up in bed from a dead sleep were real. So was my wife's, "What the fuck are you doing?" Half-sleepy yell. I must've been talking in my sleep a little too. The best part of the whole thing was realizing it was just a dream ... and I'm not posting a day 1 in shame. 2nd best part was a strong memory of the dream, I believe right before I woke up ... my wife saying, "You know you just caved, right?" She gets it ...

See you on roll ...

[THansen2413]

Putting This here so I don't have to search for it again.

Highest of highs to the lowest of lows. A good read about a damn funny dude who caved.

Bumped the whole thing, that is one interesting intro, awesome find 8megs!

Smeds-
Great stuff here. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Never heard of a dude hiding his dip can behind his balls.

Quit like fuck with you today

Wow! That is an impressive feat!

Smeds... you're the NSA of KTC. Great find!

[FMBM707]

Putting This here so I don't have to search for it again.

Highest of highs to the lowest of lows. A good read about a damn funny dude who caved.

Bumped the whole thing, that is one interesting intro, awesome find 8megs!

Smeds-
Great stuff here. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Never heard of a dude hiding his dip can behind his balls.

Quit like fuck with you today

[Thumblewort]

Putting This here so I don't have to search for it again.

Highest of highs to the lowest of lows. A good read about a damn funny dude who caved.

Bumped the whole thing, that is one interesting intro, awesome find 8megs!

[Smeds]

Putting This here so I don't have to search for it again.

Highest of highs to the lowest of lows. A good read about a damn funny dude who caved.

[steffano626]

If you quit ODAAT, every damn day, then you'll be quit forever. If you quit forever, you still have to do that ODAAT. Either way you're quit and that's what matters.

This is pretty damn succinct! FMBM707, I could learn a thing or two from you!

[Smeds]

What I was really trying to nail down in my attitude but could not was posted last night in my quit group by 30:

I quit today... it is the only day I live in, therefore it is the only day I can quit in.
I have no intention of using nicotine tomorrow either. or any of the tomorrows that follow that one. Therefore, the door is shut. the boats are burned, NAFAR.

Let me tell you a story of one of the early leaders in my quit group (May '11) His name was Hootie and he quit one day at a time for 280 days, posted roll right up to the last. He was a ROCK... no way I would have bet against that guy's quit, no chance.

Turns out he had never closed the door... never decided to pursue a lifetime of quit... So when he got some bad news about his health, and was told that he had to change his diet, and give up the booze, he decided that he NEEDED something... some forbidden "habit". (I am sure you know the way this ends) He never made day 281, because he went back to his one "bad habit". He romanticized dip all 280 days, longed for it the way one longs for a best friend. He might not have used for 280 days, but he sure as hell wasn't quit, he was just taking a break.

While one day at a time and NAFAR/burn your boats/close the door seem to be a paradox, both elements MUST be in place for your quit to survive the long haul. By now, you should have that door closed.

IF not-Close the door- Don't be a Hootie.

This is perfect to me. I've closed the door, I'm pursuing a lifetime of quit ... but I quit for today.

[FMBM707]

OK ... July '14 lost a fairly reliable brother to the nic bitch this weekend. Here was a guy who took part in the HOF conductor process ... he had our digits. He caved while drunk, as have many before him There has been some good, at times heated discussion regarding this. I wanted to copy my post from there into here, because I'm curious if it rings true for others. Does everyone here ONLY look at this battle one day at a time? At what point does that progress into a "different" mindset? Am I over-confident? I definitely have the capacity to use again. But my choice is a resounding fucking NO!!!!! Here it is:

A different thought here ... from my perspective only:

For me, after 33 years ... this is the only time I have ever tried to quit. Sure, I thought about it in the past ... all the time with a turd in the lip. So this is my first quit, and my ONLY quit! I understand the ODAAT mentality, and embraced it early. However for me I think it truly pertains to the early part of my quit. Personally, to go along thinking I would spend the rest of my life depressed about the occasional pangs or cravings is now ridiculous. Why? Because at this stage in my quit I refuse to let them dictate my journey. I know it is the doubt and uncertainty about the quit that makes it difficult for some. I have no doubt, I have no uncertainty ... my mind-set is that this is FINAL and I do not doubt it, nor do I question it ... I celebrate it. I AM FUCKING QUIT, I've made that decision! On top of that, I make my daily promise to you guys, and all the other groups I post in. I am a man of integrity, and I mean what I say! For me, thatÂ’s ownership of my quit, and confidence in my quit. If I am found with a chew in my lip ... I was murdered, and someone for some fucked-up reason placed it there. FYI, same thing goes if you ever hear of me dead on a jogging trail ... call the investigators, I was murdered and placed there!

I do look at this ODAAT Smeds, but that is my personal preference. While I am confident this is my FINAL quit as well, I will always only promise one day, as I have broken my promise too many times in the past. I have told anyone who will listen as much, because once people hear for the first time I have quit, I frequently get the "is it forever" question. I answer that I have a great support site, and if I follow what I have been taught and practicing for the last 5 months that I will not use tobacco today.

I think the difference between us Smeds is that I have tried to quit 30-40 times, all of which involved lying to my wife and family once I started back up. I give you mad props for this being you first and only quit, but for me, I need to buy in to the ODAAT philosophy.

Thanks for weighing in Thumble, I appreciate it ... and understand it. We are all different in what brought us here. One thing is a constant ... I quit with you every damn day bro. Proud to call you my July brother.

If I knew how to use the internets I'd post a picture of 2 July penguins in a hawt 69, but I don't know how to use the interwebs that well.

You of all people ... you need to see this. You ain't right! QLF with you EDD though.

I think you are both right. Whatever works.

I personally think you gotta have confidence to do anything. Successful people are confident. And very successful people don't forget the basics. Quitting, and living life, are done best by quitting and living ODAAT. IMHO, ODAAT is the only way to go. Time is too valuable.

Keep up the badass quits!

I don't know if it's rude for me to cut into the Smeds T-wort make out session...but while I feel that this quit is different and will be with me my entire life. I know I owe it to the daily promise. If i stopped making that promise I know I wouldn't start dipping immediately...but somewhere down the road I do think I could be lured back into shit. On a different note, I am so fucking sick of alcohol being used as the reason to start dipping again. If you can't handle yourself don't drink. Whether drunk or sober my mentality doesn't change....I made a promise and I am not dipping. Quit with both of you guys. and grizzlyclaws as well.

Just for clarity, I want to point out that the VERY MOST important thing to me is posting roll, and early. I literally wake up, piss, and honor roll. I do that in every group ... EDD.

I realize there are many ways to quit. What works for me is burn the boats, burn the bridges, burn every thing behind me and embrace  celebrate the new life of quit. This is not much different than those that do the same thing ODAAT. In reality, I start over each day with a renewed promise on roll.

Thanks to all who contributed, I appreciate the words. One thing is certain, I'm damn proud to be part of KTC!

One day at a time for me. I win one day at a time. And I love winning.

Those little craves or whatever are small reminders of 25 years worth of losing that are now 600+ days of back to back wins. We all use our mind a little differently to beat this demon - but I will continue to do so one day at a time. Hope this helps.

Smeds-
You are rocking this quit and helping others to kick the shit out of the nic.

If you quit ODAAT, every damn day, then you'll be quit forever. If you quit forever, you still have to do that ODAAT. Either way you're quit and that's what matters.

QUIT ON

[worktowin]

OK ... July '14 lost a fairly reliable brother to the nic bitch this weekend. Here was a guy who took part in the HOF conductor process ... he had our digits. He caved while drunk, as have many before him There has been some good, at times heated discussion regarding this. I wanted to copy my post from there into here, because I'm curious if it rings true for others. Does everyone here ONLY look at this battle one day at a time? At what point does that progress into a "different" mindset? Am I over-confident? I definitely have the capacity to use again. But my choice is a resounding fucking NO!!!!! Here it is:

A different thought here ... from my perspective only:

For me, after 33 years ... this is the only time I have ever tried to quit. Sure, I thought about it in the past ... all the time with a turd in the lip. So this is my first quit, and my ONLY quit! I understand the ODAAT mentality, and embraced it early. However for me I think it truly pertains to the early part of my quit. Personally, to go along thinking I would spend the rest of my life depressed about the occasional pangs or cravings is now ridiculous. Why? Because at this stage in my quit I refuse to let them dictate my journey. I know it is the doubt and uncertainty about the quit that makes it difficult for some. I have no doubt, I have no uncertainty ... my mind-set is that this is FINAL and I do not doubt it, nor do I question it ... I celebrate it. I AM FUCKING QUIT, I've made that decision! On top of that, I make my daily promise to you guys, and all the other groups I post in. I am a man of integrity, and I mean what I say! For me, thatÂ’s ownership of my quit, and confidence in my quit. If I am found with a chew in my lip ... I was murdered, and someone for some fucked-up reason placed it there. FYI, same thing goes if you ever hear of me dead on a jogging trail ... call the investigators, I was murdered and placed there!

I do look at this ODAAT Smeds, but that is my personal preference. While I am confident this is my FINAL quit as well, I will always only promise one day, as I have broken my promise too many times in the past. I have told anyone who will listen as much, because once people hear for the first time I have quit, I frequently get the "is it forever" question. I answer that I have a great support site, and if I follow what I have been taught and practicing for the last 5 months that I will not use tobacco today.

I think the difference between us Smeds is that I have tried to quit 30-40 times, all of which involved lying to my wife and family once I started back up. I give you mad props for this being you first and only quit, but for me, I need to buy in to the ODAAT philosophy.

Thanks for weighing in Thumble, I appreciate it ... and understand it. We are all different in what brought us here. One thing is a constant ... I quit with you every damn day bro. Proud to call you my July brother.

If I knew how to use the internets I'd post a picture of 2 July penguins in a hawt 69, but I don't know how to use the interwebs that well.

You of all people ... you need to see this. You ain't right! QLF with you EDD though.

I think you are both right. Whatever works.

I personally think you gotta have confidence to do anything. Successful people are confident. And very successful people don't forget the basics. Quitting, and living life, are done best by quitting and living ODAAT. IMHO, ODAAT is the only way to go. Time is too valuable.

Keep up the badass quits!

I don't know if it's rude for me to cut into the Smeds T-wort make out session...but while I feel that this quit is different and will be with me my entire life. I know I owe it to the daily promise. If i stopped making that promise I know I wouldn't start dipping immediately...but somewhere down the road I do think I could be lured back into shit. On a different note, I am so fucking sick of alcohol being used as the reason to start dipping again. If you can't handle yourself don't drink. Whether drunk or sober my mentality doesn't change....I made a promise and I am not dipping. Quit with both of you guys. and grizzlyclaws as well.

Just for clarity, I want to point out that the VERY MOST important thing to me is posting roll, and early. I literally wake up, piss, and honor roll. I do that in every group ... EDD.

I realize there are many ways to quit. What works for me is burn the boats, burn the bridges, burn every thing behind me and embrace  celebrate the new life of quit. This is not much different than those that do the same thing ODAAT. In reality, I start over each day with a renewed promise on roll.

Thanks to all who contributed, I appreciate the words. One thing is certain, I'm damn proud to be part of KTC!

One day at a time for me. I win one day at a time. And I love winning.

Those little craves or whatever are small reminders of 25 years worth of losing that are now 600+ days of back to back wins. We all use our mind a little differently to beat this demon - but I will continue to do so one day at a time. Hope this helps.

[Doc Chewfree]

Hey, Buddy. I still quit with you EDD!