8 days into my quit and this time it actually feels like it is for real! I have been trying to quit for the past year and after numerous fails I took a different approach to this one and I can honestly say I am 100% confident a dip will never hit my lip again. I know I have a long road to go and 8 days in really is just the very very beginning of this new change but it is exciting for the first time in 5 years to be dip free and actually not miserable without it. My past quits went around 7-14 days and ultimately ended with a relapse. I took a different approach this time and although the first 3 days were complete hell I feel it paid off afterwards.
In my past quits I would do all the typical things you think you should do when quitting- sunflower seeds, smokey mountain, nicotine gum, coffee dip, chewing packs of gum, avoiding friends that dip, eating tons of junk food, telling everyone you are quitting and that they need to keep you accountable and basically making a big deal about it like your life is ending and you are going to be miserable forever.
I know everyone is different but the problem for me is that in doing all this stuff you are keeping the habit alive in some way shape or form and giving the dip the power as well showing your weakness- "I cant hang around a friend that chews anymore or I have to tell everyone to hound me about not dipping because I am not strong enough to quit on my own". For this one I did the complete opposite. I told myself I am going through hell this week and I will not- Eat anymore food than I normally would, chew ridiculous amounts of gum or fake dip, avoid friends that dip, do anything different in any way except not packing chews in my lip and not complain to anyone or show my struggle at all. It was hell and it was a harder 5 days than any of the other failed quits. I had no crutches, no safety net, no one to hold me accountable except me. I am not packing smokey mountain or coffee chew in my lip wishing it was real chew, nothing is going in my lip anymore. I am not plowing through packs of gum or eating a ridiculous amount of fast food to make up for feeling like I need something to replace my loss. I am not avoiding my friends that dip, I am manning up and looking right at them as they pack it and put it in, watching them spit nasty shit out of their mouths and then watching them take the dip out and watching that after dip regret that we all had coming over them. Knowing you are not a slave to the nasty shit that once ruled your life. It actually helped me more than anything to watch other people dip. I watch dip vids on youtube throughout the day. Watching the dippers defending chew and defending that it really isn't as unhealthy as everyone thinks or that they really aren't addicted and that it is just a safe fun habit was inspiring to me because I used to be that defensive delusional person and it fells good to see that BS for what it is. The best feeling of all is running my tongue along my inner lip and feeling the tissue beginning to rebuild. It feels smooth and healthy, not rough and sore. My mom is a dental hygienist and she cleans my teeth and she has seen the gum recess and tissue damage and it makes her sick. I am so looking forward to my visit in June when she cleans my teeth. Haven't even told her I quit and Im not going to. It will be an awesome surprise for her when she sees my gums and lip starting to heal up next month when she cleans my teeth!
SO I guess for me personally walking straight into the fire and not looking for the easiest way to quit was what seemed to work for me. Think of the hardest way to quit and give yourself hell and don't give in. Pick a week that will be difficult for you, don't set an easy date and slowly ween off when your life will be easy because as soon as life gets tough you will give back in. I even found cans that weren't empty in a bag and under the seat of my truck the past week. I opened them up, took and big smell and then dumped it out the window. That was the most liberating feeling. Just saying a big "fuck you" directly to the can. I actually did this. I chewed out (no pun intended, lol) the can screaming at it in my truck. May sound crazy but it works! I know a couple of my past failed quits ended when I stumbled upon an old half empty can and gave in. Dumping them this time was the ultimate feeling of success for me on this run. People who do dip think they are generally tough guys or bad asses so if you are ready to quit do the ultimate bad ass thing and just do it and do it in the hardest way. You can have the last laugh that it didn't get ya in the end!
I think in the end you just gotta want to quit. You gotta want it sooo bad you would do anything to make it happen. Not for your kids or your wife or your mom or your job or for mouth cancer or for gum disease. You gotta want to quit because you hate the habit, the addiction, being a slave to something. Driving to gas stations late at night when you should be in bed. Packing a chew on the toilet at work for 3 minutes. Being late for something when you have to stop and get a can. Having a substance control you and make you do things you would never do. You gotta want it sooo bad and you have to learn to hate dip like it is the devil. You have to hate it so bad and it needs to be your enemy. I hope someone reads this and says "wow I want to quit this shit and I wanna do it like that!" I don't want to talk bad about the traditional ways to quit and Im sure it has worked great for many. I just wanted to state that there is another way to do it and it may be just what a certain type of person needs that has failed trying the latter. Well wish me luck day 9 here we come!
