I am addicted to nicotine.
I started smoking around age 16, and smoked for ten years. After numerous failed attempts at quitting, one day it finally worked. I kicked the cigarette habit, but fed the nicotine addiction with Nicorette. Lots of Nicorette. Finally after a few months, I needed to cut down on the gum.
Every now and then, I would notice a buddy or co-worker taking a dip of something or other. Hey, can I try that? ItÂ’s harmless, right? At least IÂ’m not smoking cigarettes. Cigarettes are bad for your health. Besides, I wonÂ’t get hooked on the stuff. Just a little bump to help me get over the Nicorette.
The details are hazy, but I gradually made the switch from Nicorette to the can. I tried one, tried another, bummed from a buddy, eventually got hooked all the way. I had a can with me at all times. I would do what it took to make sure I had my can.
Over all those years, I made several half hearted attempts at quitting. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew it causes cancer. Oh well, IÂ’ll still have my lungs.
Finally, in December 2015, I decided I would quit. This stuff is no good. I have a lovely wife and three beautiful children. I need to get my act together. IÂ’m doing this. ItÂ’ll be a New YearÂ’s resolution. January 1, I quit.
New YearÂ’s Eve was on a Thursday, and we loaded up the family and traveled several hours to a friendÂ’s house, to ring in the new year. We had a few beverages, of course we stayed up past midnight to ring in the new year, and of course I still had a cat turd in my mouth.
Next morning, New YearÂ’s Day, I woke up with a bit of a hangover, splashed some cold water on my face, and faced the day. Then I noticed the can, sitting there. Then I remembered that I was quitting, January 1. And the bitch started whisperingÂ… you were up after midnight last night, so quitting for today is shot anywayÂ… thereÂ’s most of a can left thereÂ…. youÂ’ve had thousands of cans before, another wonÂ’t make any differenceÂ….
So I dived right in, stuffed the poison in my face.
Since it was the weekend, we decided to stay another night at our friendsÂ’ house. We had a few beverages, of course we stayed up past midnight, and of course I still had a cat turd in my mouth.
Next morning, the bitch came back. The can is almost empty. And look at you, January 2 is already shot. You know you were dipping past midnight. Just finish off the can, throw it away. Good to go.
And I looked at myself. I said, this is bullshit. YouÂ’re lying to yourself. We traveled home then, and I tossed the can in one of those trash cans next to the gas pumps.
We got home after awhile, and I realized thereÂ’s no tobacco in the house. I could go to the nearest gas station, itÂ’s 5 minutes away. The clerks there know my poison of choice.
Instead, I got on the computer, opened a search engine, and typed, “how to quit chewing tobacco”
