Enough...

[pab1964]

Matt great intro. I dipped Kodiak from age 15 to age 42....I too hid it from everyone...work family, friends. If I can give you any advice it would be this. Come clean. Tell your family, tell your co-workers, tell your friends. Embarrassing...probably, but beneficial in many ways.
First, just like any addict admitting you are an addict is often cathartic and usually the first step in ending your abuse. Believe me, you are an addict of one of the most addictive substances on Earth (treat it that way)
Second, when you start acting like a douche to everyone around you the first two weeks of your quit, they'll know why.
Third, accountability. The more people who know you used to dip....the more people who will notice if you cave. That adds to accountability.
Lastly, you have been living a hidden life from your loved ones. By coming clean you can live an honest life. You hid your dipping like a coward. There should be nothing to hide with a quit. It's both an honorable and brave thing your are starting to embark upon. It will test you day and night, and there will be countless times you will come real close to caving. Making it through that trial by fire deserves recognition, and by being honest, you will be making a clean break from the addict.

Good luck. You can do this.

Sorry I just read your last paragraph. So scratch number 2 above. If you are being a douche now....then your just a douche.

You got this. You absolutely have to do this for you. I'm a cop on the road all day and I thought that would be my biggest hurdle. I grabbed a huge bag of sunflower seeds, every now and then I feel an urge and I throw a mouthful in. I also have become fairly active here. Get involved. Get some numbers. We are all here to help with you. I quit with you today!

Every person that has replied to you is bad ass. They know how to quit.

You know, I could have written your intro too. I joined on day 16. 25?years of hiding with Kodak. 913 days ago I found freedom. With the support of people like the ones that have responded to you - you are gonna find a freedom like you have never known. You are really gonna like the new you.

If I can help shoot me a pm. If I can do this - you can.

Matt some badass S. O. B up in here trying to stir you the right way. 38 year slave, 178 day's later only with the help from my brothers and sisters here I'm enjoying my freedom one day at a time! Post roll we've all tried quitting numerous times by ourselves only to fail miserably everytime! I quit with you today!

[worktowin]

Matt great intro. I dipped Kodiak from age 15 to age 42....I too hid it from everyone...work family, friends. If I can give you any advice it would be this. Come clean. Tell your family, tell your co-workers, tell your friends. Embarrassing...probably, but beneficial in many ways.
First, just like any addict admitting you are an addict is often cathartic and usually the first step in ending your abuse. Believe me, you are an addict of one of the most addictive substances on Earth (treat it that way)
Second, when you start acting like a douche to everyone around you the first two weeks of your quit, they'll know why.
Third, accountability. The more people who know you used to dip....the more people who will notice if you cave. That adds to accountability.
Lastly, you have been living a hidden life from your loved ones. By coming clean you can live an honest life. You hid your dipping like a coward. There should be nothing to hide with a quit. It's both an honorable and brave thing your are starting to embark upon. It will test you day and night, and there will be countless times you will come real close to caving. Making it through that trial by fire deserves recognition, and by being honest, you will be making a clean break from the addict.

Good luck. You can do this.

Sorry I just read your last paragraph. So scratch number 2 above. If you are being a douche now....then your just a douche.

You got this. You absolutely have to do this for you. I'm a cop on the road all day and I thought that would be my biggest hurdle. I grabbed a huge bag of sunflower seeds, every now and then I feel an urge and I throw a mouthful in. I also have become fairly active here. Get involved. Get some numbers. We are all here to help with you. I quit with you today!

Every person that has replied to you is bad ass. They know how to quit.

You know, I could have written your intro too. I joined on day 16. 25?years of hiding with Kodak. 913 days ago I found freedom. With the support of people like the ones that have responded to you - you are gonna find a freedom like you have never known. You are really gonna like the new you.

If I can help shoot me a pm. If I can do this - you can.

[Stillamarine]

Matt great intro. I dipped Kodiak from age 15 to age 42....I too hid it from everyone...work family, friends. If I can give you any advice it would be this. Come clean. Tell your family, tell your co-workers, tell your friends. Embarrassing...probably, but beneficial in many ways.
First, just like any addict admitting you are an addict is often cathartic and usually the first step in ending your abuse. Believe me, you are an addict of one of the most addictive substances on Earth (treat it that way)
Second, when you start acting like a douche to everyone around you the first two weeks of your quit, they'll know why.
Third, accountability. The more people who know you used to dip....the more people who will notice if you cave. That adds to accountability.
Lastly, you have been living a hidden life from your loved ones. By coming clean you can live an honest life. You hid your dipping like a coward. There should be nothing to hide with a quit. It's both an honorable and brave thing your are starting to embark upon. It will test you day and night, and there will be countless times you will come real close to caving. Making it through that trial by fire deserves recognition, and by being honest, you will be making a clean break from the addict.

Good luck. You can do this.

Sorry I just read your last paragraph. So scratch number 2 above. If you are being a douche now....then your just a douche.

You got this. You absolutely have to do this for you. I'm a cop on the road all day and I thought that would be my biggest hurdle. I grabbed a huge bag of sunflower seeds, every now and then I feel an urge and I throw a mouthful in. I also have become fairly active here. Get involved. Get some numbers. We are all here to help with you. I quit with you today!

[Dagranger]

Matt great intro. I dipped Kodiak from age 15 to age 42....I too hid it from everyone...work family, friends. If I can give you any advice it would be this. Come clean. Tell your family, tell your co-workers, tell your friends. Embarrassing...probably, but beneficial in many ways.
First, just like any addict admitting you are an addict is often cathartic and usually the first step in ending your abuse. Believe me, you are an addict of one of the most addictive substances on Earth (treat it that way)
Second, when you start acting like a douche to everyone around you the first two weeks of your quit, they'll know why.
Third, accountability. The more people who know you used to dip....the more people who will notice if you cave. That adds to accountability.
Lastly, you have been living a hidden life from your loved ones. By coming clean you can live an honest life. You hid your dipping like a coward. There should be nothing to hide with a quit. It's both an honorable and brave thing your are starting to embark upon. It will test you day and night, and there will be countless times you will come real close to caving. Making it through that trial by fire deserves recognition, and by being honest, you will be making a clean break from the addict.

Good luck. You can do this.

Sorry I just read your last paragraph. So scratch number 2 above. If you are being a douche now....then your just a douche.

[mattj83]

Matt,
Wow, it sounds like you wrote my intro.
If you are ready to truely quit, you need to come clean to your wife, tell her about the site and show her this section:
http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/

Have you posted roll:
forum/55560/

When traveling get online and chat with us on KTC. Gum, candy, fake chew, toothpicks, whatever it takes to be nicotine free.
I could go on and on, but get on KTC, read everything, I am going to PM you my cell phone, call or text whenever.
Proud to quit with you,
Idaho Spuds (310days free)

Thanks, Spuds. I can't thank you enough for the support. I know you are right about coming clean. She would be my biggest supporter in this.

Really appreciate the advice to chat when I'm on the road. I'm going to do that. I envision a tough time sitting in a hotel room by myself at 10:00 at night with the voice in my head telling me that there is a gas station a block away. I'll already have the laptop open doing work, so I might as well get on KTC and talk it out. That's a great idea!

Already been hitting the H20 like a madman, and that has helped. I'm trying to stay away from the fake stuff and even seeds, b/c I think a huge part of my battle will be overcoming the constant need to have something in my mouth, or be spitting. Like I said...lifestyle change. If I get into bad shape, though, I'll definitely go seeds or fake stuff to keep me out of trouble.

I'll figure out roll call and get on there.

Seriously, thanks for the support and for reaching out.

Matt

[mattj83]

Welcome Matt! You are us, and we are you! You are not alone in your story. Way to be. Making it this far on your own. It gets more fun and easier to quit if you embrace this site!
I know it sounds weird, but its true. Learn how to post roll.

Thanks rdad. I hear what you are saying...from what I see so far, this site will be an amazing weapon in this battle. I'll figure out the roll call and get that started.

Thanks for reaching out!

Matt

[Macamania]

Sorry, I got distracted on your quit date. LOL Welcome to the group!

[Macamania]

Deleted

[Charge]

Matt -
Way to go brother, you've had 18 solid days, and you're having another victory today.

I'm in the same boat right now: I'm geographically separated from my family for several weeks; nobody to catch the sneaky ninja. I've come close to caving to the bitch a few times today, but held it together. Now, every time I'm feeling the urge, I'll be thinking of you.

[Idaho Spuds]

Matt,
Wow, it sounds like you wrote my intro.
If you are ready to truely quit, you need to come clean to your wife, tell her about the site and show her this section:
http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/

Have you posted roll:
forum/55560/

When traveling get online and chat with us on KTC. Gum, candy, fake chew, toothpicks, whatever it takes to be nicotine free.
I could go on and on, but get on KTC, read everything, I am going to PM you my cell phone, call or text whenever.
Proud to quit with you,
Idaho Spuds (310days free)

[rdad]

Welcome Matt! You are us, and we are you! You are not alone in your story. Way to be. Making it this far on your own. It gets more fun and easier to quit if you embrace this site!
I know it sounds weird, but its true. Learn how to post roll.

[mattj83]

I'm 37 years old, and I've finally had ENOUGH!!! I've been dipping Kodiak since I was about 16 years old. The part that I'm least proud of is that I've also been lying about it...to everyone. Aside from about 2 people in my life, no one knows that I dip. My wife and closest friends think I quit years ago, other than the occasional "treat." Fact is, I've been going through a can a day for as long as I can remember. If I'm on my way to work...I'm dipping, if I'm on my way to lunch....I'm dipping, if my family is upstairs asleep...I'm dipping. If I'm alone for more than 10 minutes...I'm dipping. On weekends and nights, I would literally make up excuses for why I had to run to the store so I could get out of the house for 30 minutes for my fix. On Saturday mornings while my wife is at work, I would leave my 2 girls to play by themselves so I could go upstairs for 10 minutes to get my fix. I would sit in the car or in the bathroom in shame at the husband and father I was being at that very moment, but as long as I had that pinch in my mouth, I could somehow justify it.

I spend a lot of time in my car alone for work, and that's going to make my quit that much harder. About once per month, I go out of state for 3 days and nights for work. In those 3 days, I could easily go through 8, 9, or 10 cans. I used to love that out of town binge. No one to catch me, I was like a kid in a candy store. I've got another one of those trips coming up in about 2-3 weeks. That's going to be my biggest test and struggle, because I'll do what I've always done in the past...I'll find a way to justify it. I've tried quitting a handful of times in the last few years, and I've become a master of coming up with excuses for why now isn't the right time to quit. I was going to quit when I got married (13 years ago), I was going to quit when my first daughter was born (8 years ago), when I turned 30 (7 years ago), second daughter (2 years ago), etc. And each time, I found the perfect excuse for why it wasn't the right time. I'd tell myself "I've got another trip coming up next month, I'll try to quit after that because there's no way I won't dip while I'm gone." Enough with the fucking excuses. I could come up with reasons why there won't be a convenient time for me to quit until I turn 100, but we all know it'll kill me before then. I'm the one putting the shit in my mouth, no one else. I'm the only one who can do this for me.

I'm just now doing my intro, but I'm actually on day #18. Kicked the bear out back on 6/5. Truth be told, I didn't post until now because I didn't think I'd make it this far. Well...I have made it this far. It's all a big mind game right now for me. First few days were brutal. Now my mind is my own worst enemy. Triggers are everything for me right now. I'm in the car nonstop, and I'm used to having that spitter right next to me. It's more than kicking a habit, it's a lifestyle change for me. I was living a double life, and I hated myself for it. 18 days in, and although no one else in my life knows the struggle I'm going through, I feel so much better as a person. I stumbled upon KTC about a year ago and have observed on and off. I knew that once I finally made the decision to quit for good, I'd need this community for support. Not really sure what I'm supposed to do next as far as posts goes, but this was a big first step for me.

No more hiding. No more lying. No more fucking excuses.

Thanks everyone,

Matt