D-Day 02/01/08 2:45 PST

[Smokeyg]

Just for you Skoal Monster...

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.Ã,  I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each.Ã,  I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth.Ã,  I bought 200.Ã,  I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home.Ã,  I have a big car.Ã,  I let one drive.Ã,  His
name was Sigmund.Ã,  He was retarded.Ã,  In fact, none of them were really
bright.Ã,  They kept punching themselves in their genitals.Ã,  I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals.Ã,  I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room.Ã,  They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment.Ã,  They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall.Ã,  Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died.Ã,  No apparent reason.Ã,  They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.Ã,  Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do.Ã,  There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet.Ã,  It didn't work.Ã,  It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals.Ã,  That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose.Ã,  It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber.Ã,  I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.Ã,  Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds.Ã,  I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them.Ã,  Little did I know my bed was flammable.Ã,  I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.Ã,  The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom.Ã,  I severely beat one of my monkeys.Ã,  I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates.Ã,  I told him that I had a wet
one.Ã,  He couldn't take that one either.Ã,  I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution.Ã,  I gave them out as Christmas gifts.Ã,  My
friends didn't know quite what to say.Ã,  They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying.Ã,  Ingrates.Ã,  So I punched them in
the genitals.

Author: Unknown

Reading this makes me think...what ever happened to SWJ???

Have not seen him in a long time. But that is one funny Dude... !!

Wish he would come back at least once a week and post something.

So i punched them in the genitals might be the best piece of literary artistry since the Kama Sutra

I love monkeys
Mostly re heated with some tabasco

SM - That was uncalled for. Monkeys have feelings too....

[Skoal Monster]

Just for you Skoal Monster...

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.Ã,  I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each.Ã,  I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth.Ã,  I bought 200.Ã,  I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home.Ã,  I have a big car.Ã,  I let one drive.Ã,  His
name was Sigmund.Ã,  He was retarded.Ã,  In fact, none of them were really
bright.Ã,  They kept punching themselves in their genitals.Ã,  I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals.Ã,  I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room.Ã,  They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment.Ã,  They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall.Ã,  Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died.Ã,  No apparent reason.Ã,  They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.Ã,  Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do.Ã,  There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet.Ã,  It didn't work.Ã,  It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals.Ã,  That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose.Ã,  It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber.Ã,  I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.Ã,  Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds.Ã,  I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them.Ã,  Little did I know my bed was flammable.Ã,  I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.Ã,  The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom.Ã,  I severely beat one of my monkeys.Ã,  I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates.Ã,  I told him that I had a wet
one.Ã,  He couldn't take that one either.Ã,  I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution.Ã,  I gave them out as Christmas gifts.Ã,  My
friends didn't know quite what to say.Ã,  They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying.Ã,  Ingrates.Ã,  So I punched them in
the genitals.

Author: Unknown

Reading this makes me think...what ever happened to SWJ???

Have not seen him in a long time. But that is one funny Dude... !!

Wish he would come back at least once a week and post something.

So i punched them in the genitals might be the best piece of literary artistry since the Kama Sutra

I love monkeys
Mostly re heated with some tabasco

[Greg5280]

Just for you Skoal Monster...

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.Ã,  I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each.Ã,  I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth.Ã,  I bought 200.Ã,  I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home.Ã,  I have a big car.Ã,  I let one drive.Ã,  His
name was Sigmund.Ã,  He was retarded.Ã,  In fact, none of them were really
bright.Ã,  They kept punching themselves in their genitals.Ã,  I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals.Ã,  I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room.Ã,  They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment.Ã,  They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall.Ã,  Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died.Ã,  No apparent reason.Ã,  They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.Ã,  Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do.Ã,  There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet.Ã,  It didn't work.Ã,  It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals.Ã,  That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose.Ã,  It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber.Ã,  I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.Ã,  Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds.Ã,  I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them.Ã,  Little did I know my bed was flammable.Ã,  I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.Ã,  The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom.Ã,  I severely beat one of my monkeys.Ã,  I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates.Ã,  I told him that I had a wet
one.Ã,  He couldn't take that one either.Ã,  I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution.Ã,  I gave them out as Christmas gifts.Ã,  My
friends didn't know quite what to say.Ã,  They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying.Ã,  Ingrates.Ã,  So I punched them in
the genitals.

Author: Unknown

Reading this makes me think...what ever happened to SWJ???

Have not seen him in a long time. But that is one funny Dude... !!

Wish he would come back at least once a week and post something.

[bnlelliott]

Just for you Skoal Monster...

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

Author: Unknown

Reading this makes me think...what ever happened to SWJ???

[Ready]

Is it possible to read punched in the genitals without laughing?

No.

[jaygib]

Is it possible to read punched in the genitals without laughing?

[Ready]

Just for you Skoal Monster...

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed.
Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead.
Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the genitals.

Author: Unknown

[Skoal Monster]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today.Ã,  Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do.Ã,  I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces.Ã,  Read some funny shit.Ã,  Read some inspirational shit.Ã,  Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site.Ã,  You people get it.Ã, 

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Anyone else notice that nolaq and sensei breached 3,000 posts? Dots are pretty damn cool, but it's not really about dots, now, is it? It's easier in the quit slipstream. Ready...12,000 today.

12k. That is to the moon and back right? Impressive.

Ready...you've got no idea how many ditches you've drug me out of...just wanted to say thanks for a few of your 12,000. If I can do for one guy what you have done for many I'll feel pretty good about my time here.

I am humbled Gentlemen.

i smell monkey spunk.....


happy saturday my friend

salute back at ya Ready ,but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me about the monkeys... I can't find the story....... dead monkeys , tell me about the monkeys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT MONKEYS

[mule]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today.Ã,  Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do.Ã,  I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces.Ã,  Read some funny shit.Ã,  Read some inspirational shit.Ã,  Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site.Ã,  You people get it.Ã, 

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Anyone else notice that nolaq and sensei breached 3,000 posts? Dots are pretty damn cool, but it's not really about dots, now, is it? It's easier in the quit slipstream. Ready...12,000 today.

12k. That is to the moon and back right? Impressive.

Ready...you've got no idea how many ditches you've drug me out of...just wanted to say thanks for a few of your 12,000. If I can do for one guy what you have done for many I'll feel pretty good about my time here.

I am humbled Gentlemen.

i smell monkey spunk.....


happy saturday my friend

[Ready]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today.Ã,  Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do.Ã,  I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces.Ã,  Read some funny shit.Ã,  Read some inspirational shit.Ã,  Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site.Ã,  You people get it.Ã, 

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Anyone else notice that nolaq and sensei breached 3,000 posts? Dots are pretty damn cool, but it's not really about dots, now, is it? It's easier in the quit slipstream. Ready...12,000 today.

12k. That is to the moon and back right? Impressive.

Ready...you've got no idea how many ditches you've drug me out of...just wanted to say thanks for a few of your 12,000. If I can do for one guy what you have done for many I'll feel pretty good about my time here.

I am humbled Gentlemen.

[bnlelliott]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today.Ã,  Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do.Ã,  I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces.Ã,  Read some funny shit.Ã,  Read some inspirational shit.Ã,  Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site.Ã,  You people get it.Ã, 

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Anyone else notice that nolaq and sensei breached 3,000 posts? Dots are pretty damn cool, but it's not really about dots, now, is it? It's easier in the quit slipstream. Ready...12,000 today.

12k. That is to the moon and back right? Impressive.

Ready...you've got no idea how many ditches you've drug me out of...just wanted to say thanks for a few of your 12,000. If I can do for one guy what you have done for many I'll feel pretty good about my time here.

[Scowick65]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today.Ã,  Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do.Ã,  I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces.Ã,  Read some funny shit.Ã,  Read some inspirational shit.Ã,  Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site.Ã,  You people get it.Ã, 

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Anyone else notice that nolaq and sensei breached 3,000 posts? Dots are pretty damn cool, but it's not really about dots, now, is it? It's easier in the quit slipstream. Ready...12,000 today.

12k. That is to the moon and back right? Impressive.

[PbKid]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today.Ã,  Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do.Ã,  I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces.Ã,  Read some funny shit.Ã,  Read some inspirational shit.Ã,  Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site.Ã,  You people get it.Ã, 

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Anyone else notice that nolaq and sensei breached 3,000 posts? Dots are pretty damn cool, but it's not really about dots, now, is it? It's easier in the quit slipstream. Ready...12,000 today.

[Nolaq]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today. Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do. I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces. Read some funny shit. Read some inspirational shit. Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site. You people get it.

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.

Well, the first tip goes to you my man.

It's 'cuz of guys like you (the mods, admins and ole' timers) that keep us morons on the straight and narrow.

This place is incredible because of guys like you.

Thanks Ready.

I'll see you tomorrow.

[Ready]

Ready - Day 1142

I posted roll today giving my word of Honor that I will not use nicotine in any way, shape or form today. Then I ventured out into the other groups like I normally do. I posted roll for additional accountability in a few other groups that I haunt. Saw many regular faces. Read some funny shit. Read some inspirational shit. Read some shit that will keep me here for some time to come.

I am truly humbled and honored to be apart of this fine site. You people get it.

A special tip of the hat to the mods and admins, The Honor Guard of Quit.