Addiction always told me I would always be an addict. That it would always be so hard not dipping. It would feel terrible my entire life if I Quit. Well, yeah, I may be an addict my whole life and one bad decision could put me back at Day 1. But........ that fucking nicotine is a liar. I don't feel terrible. I feel freaking awesome. Yeah, it sucks to start with. But then it gets better. Little by little. Day by day. It slowly and steadily gets better. Till its freakn awesome. You gotta just make your stand and say never again. Give your promise for the day and make it to the end of the day. That simple. Yeah, life will throw you curves along the way. Part of the healing process. Talk it out with you wife. Ask her forgiveness now for being an ass sometime soon. Gonna happen. This is what I did. I planned a celebration trip for my wife and I to celebrate my HOF, 100 days of Quit. I dipped 35 years. And my being an ass definitely showed. LOL. But we planned a hiking trip, and focused on getting successfully to that trip. It worked. Give this all you got. Get involved with you Quit group. You got this.