This is Chanilla, the high schooler from Oregon trying to quit. Some may remember the puss who betrayed (2?) quit groups a year or two back. I just flat out quit posting, quit answering texts, just ignoring everything after I caved and went back to the life of addiction. I know I'm going to get sh*t for it, and I'm ready for it. I will read every word that anyone has to say to me, and I know I deserve it. Taking the easy way out is something I hate doing, but apparently I thought it was "ok" "just that once" which is clearly dishonorable, even inconsiderate, considering I was part of a group of individuals all working to help each other and make their lives better. I feel bad about that, and am sorry.
That being said, I am at a point in my life where the decision to quit is coming from myself, so to speak. I am not quitting now because I am afraid my parents will find out. I am not quitting because I don't want the doctor to ask if I chew tobacco while my parents are in the room. I am not quitting because I'm the only one who does it at my school. I can dip all I want, not worry about parents, and I don't care who knows I dip. I'm not quitting for girls, I'm not quitting because my mouth hurts. I'm quitting because this is something that needs to be done. I want to be the best that I can be, and I can't do that with tobacco. I spend way to much money on it, and will keep on spending money until I am dead. I hate being a slave to a product. I need to free myself from this, and this is the only way to do it.
I don't deserve to come slinking back in here and quit again. I still will, but I want to apologize for doing so. I quit tomorrow and will be posting day 1.
My Quit Plan:
-First and foremost, post in roll call. Doing that first thing I wake up every morning.
-When the craves come, I'm embracing whatever they through at me. I'm turning it all to rage and anger, and at the end of the day, when its time for the gym, I'm gonna just blow it up in there.
- Remember that its awful chewing. Switching the sides everyday just so my cheek doesnt fall apart isnt fun. Waking up with white gunk on either side of my mouth, scraping the dead skin off my cheek, etc. is not fun.
-I'm getting a line up of people I can talk to in real life. This site will be great, but I am going to get a different person I can talk to every day of the week to tell that I am quitting for that day.
- When I am ready to settle down and get married, I want to give that girl the best I can and give her the best that I can be. The only way tobacco is going to be a part of that is its absence and how the journey of quitting made me better for her.
-No matter how hard something may be at the time, it will eventually get easier and I will emerge a better person.
Chris
