(Quit Day 19) - I was on the site today (some days I just have to spend a lot of time on the site working my Quit, to stay Quit) and came across this gem posted by Greg5280. I copied it here for easy reference when I need it:
The Real You
** Portions taken from an article on Why Quit.com**
Try to remember if you can, what it was like being you? Not the chemically dependant you, the REAL you. What was it like to function every morning without nicotine? To finish a meal, travel, talk on the phone, have a disagreement, start a project or take a break without putting nicotine into your body? What was it like before nicotine took control? What was it like residing inside a mind that did not crave for nicotine? Can you remember? For most of us our addiction has controlled us so long we cannot remember the “real” us. I know I cannot.
One of the most terrifying aspects of drug addiction is just how quickly nearly all remaining memory of life without the external chemical are buried by high definition dopamine induced memories generated by using it. It's a common thread among all drug addicts. And make no mistakes, you are an addict, admitting that is the first step to recovery.
We became slaves to the world of "nicotine normal," and by doing so we were each provided a new identity. The nicotine dependant, addict. The junkie worrying about the next fix. The captive brain dopamine pathways did their designed job and did it well. They left us convinced that our next nicotine fix was central to survival, as important as drinking water or eating food. How many of you passed up food to buy a can? How many times did you skip time with family to feed your addiction ? Dig through the trash to find a few grains to hold you over until you got to the store?
Why do we fear quitting? Such thinking can unconsciously tease and play upon old nicotine use memories, making us feel as though we've left something of tremendous value behind. If allowed, it can tease and inflame false fears, fears born of nicotine urge and replenishment memories, strong vivid memories whose purpose were to convince us that nicotine is vital to survival, memories that should never have been present in the first place, memories only made possible because a poison substance entered the brain and was able to disrupt your normal thought processes.
When you think about "quitting" I hope you stop and realize when the real "quitting" took place. You quit being you the first moment nicotine entered your bloodstream. Quitting nicotine is about recognizing and embracing the truth but be prepared; learning that for years we fooled ourselves and lived a lie can invoke a host of emotions including depression, apathy, confusion and anger. Start your journey with baby steps, patience, honesty and you too will soon be entirely comfortable again engaging all aspects of life without nicotine. Contrary to deeply held beliefs that were pounded into your brain by an endless cycle of urges and rewards, and lies pumped into you by Big Tobacco, you are leaving absolutely nothing of value behind.
Is there really anything to fear? Why be afraid of returning to a calm and quiet place where you no longer crave a chemical that today and every day for as long as you can remember you cannot seem to get off your mind, a chemical that is a mandatory part of every day's plan? Is freedom of thought and action a good thing or bad? If good, then why fear life without a chemical that is controlling you? A chemical that is killing you.
How wonderful would it be to again live inside an undisturbed, non-poisoned mind where addiction chatter gradually becomes infrequent, then rare? Again, I ask you, "What was it like being you?"
Quit today and start finding out...
