Getting my QUIT on!

[slug.go]

Thanks, to all you guys.

[mb289]

Great job on 50! Half way to HOF...Nice!

mb289

[rothstein57]

Shit, I need to keep coming back here for the laughs if nothing else. Congrats on 50 Slug, keep it up brother. I quit with you every day.

[Krusty]

5-0 for Slug.gO...

Congrats bro -- great to quit alongside you, and here's to many more nic-free mini-milestones. See you on roll in the AM.

[J2b]

Let y'all in on a not so well kept secret - may quitters and quit groups are the best. Slug.go, you fit in nicely. Keep killing it.

[rtpope]

Quick story.
Back in the day, it seemed everybody in the Navy was a dipper.  I was sitting the Alert 5 on the boat.  You already preflighted the aircraft, did a full systems check and are strapped in, all you have to do is start engines and you're gone.  Alert 5 means you have to be able to get airborne in 5 minutes or less.
Anyway, it was a gorgeous day, not too loud on the flight deck, not much going on.  Had canopy open, just enjoying the view.  Across from me was friend of mine, Horse.  Horse is a big dipper, I can see him spitting into a bottle that was tucked into his survival vest pocket.  His canopy is open, too.  Your head is about 10 feet above the ground when you're seated in the plane
Well, here comes Horse's Commanding Officer (CO) wearing his khaki uniform.  We're just fucking off giving each other obscene hand signals and razzing each other on the radio.  Horse and the CO are trying to have a conversation, but there's just too much ambient noise.  Due to Alert 5 status, not allowed to lower boarding ladder without permission from Air Boss in tower.  Horse takes his helmet off, still can't understand each other.  CO motions for Horse to lean over.  Horse unstraps, leans over and drops a stream of spent spit on his CO's starched khaki shirt!!! Hilarity ensued!  I'm laughing so hard I'm afraid I'm going to shit myself.  The CO is fucking screaming at Horse!!!  His face was so red it was almost purple.  I get Horse's back seater on the radio.  He wasn't paying attention, buried in his radar.  I tell Tiny (back seater) what's happening.  He peeks over the side and then leans as far forward as he can, basically ducking so the CO won't see him busting out laughing.  Everyone but Horse and the CO are basically dying at this point, everyone is all over the radio talking about it.  Finally, the CO's rant ends, he stomps off the flight deck.
After the hilarity died down, I wiped my eyes and called Horse.  "Horse, you are so fucked."  Horse said, 'You have no idea.  If we go flying, it might not bother me to get shot down, Saddam's got nothing  on my CO.'
We didn't go flying.  Dipping was banned in Horse's squadron aircraft.  I can still see it all in my mind. 
Beautiful.

I needed a good laugh. That did it! Thx for the stories slug.

hahahaha!!!!! Thank you so much for another fighter pilot dipping story. That shit just made my day!!! I bet Horse never again tucked a spitter into his survival vest...fucking priceless

[Etxaggie]

Quick story.
Back in the day, it seemed everybody in the Navy was a dipper.  I was sitting the Alert 5 on the boat.  You already preflighted the aircraft, did a full systems check and are strapped in, all you have to do is start engines and you're gone.  Alert 5 means you have to be able to get airborne in 5 minutes or less.
Anyway, it was a gorgeous day, not too loud on the flight deck, not much going on.  Had canopy open, just enjoying the view.  Across from me was friend of mine, Horse.  Horse is a big dipper, I can see him spitting into a bottle that was tucked into his survival vest pocket.  His canopy is open, too.  Your head is about 10 feet above the ground when you're seated in the plane
Well, here comes Horse's Commanding Officer (CO) wearing his khaki uniform.  We're just fucking off giving each other obscene hand signals and razzing each other on the radio.  Horse and the CO are trying to have a conversation, but there's just too much ambient noise.  Due to Alert 5 status, not allowed to lower boarding ladder without permission from Air Boss in tower.  Horse takes his helmet off, still can't understand each other.  CO motions for Horse to lean over.  Horse unstraps, leans over and drops a stream of spent spit on his CO's starched khaki shirt!!! Hilarity ensued!  I'm laughing so hard I'm afraid I'm going to shit myself.  The CO is fucking screaming at Horse!!!  His face was so red it was almost purple.  I get Horse's back seater on the radio.  He wasn't paying attention, buried in his radar.  I tell Tiny (back seater) what's happening.  He peeks over the side and then leans as far forward as he can, basically ducking so the CO won't see him busting out laughing.  Everyone but Horse and the CO are basically dying at this point, everyone is all over the radio talking about it.  Finally, the CO's rant ends, he stomps off the flight deck.
After the hilarity died down, I wiped my eyes and called Horse.  "Horse, you are so fucked."  Horse said, 'You have no idea.  If we go flying, it might not bother me to get shot down, Saddam's got nothing  on my CO.'
We didn't go flying.  Dipping was banned in Horse's squadron aircraft.  I can still see it all in my mind. 
Beautiful.

I needed a good laugh. That did it! Thx for the stories slug.

[slug.go]

Quick story.
Back in the day, it seemed everybody in the Navy was a dipper. I was sitting the Alert 5 on the boat. You already preflighted the aircraft, did a full systems check and are strapped in, all you have to do is start engines and you're gone. Alert 5 means you have to be able to get airborne in 5 minutes or less.
Anyway, it was a gorgeous day, not too loud on the flight deck, not much going on. Had canopy open, just enjoying the view. Across from me was friend of mine, Horse. Horse is a big dipper, I can see him spitting into a bottle that was tucked into his survival vest pocket. His canopy is open, too. Your head is about 10 feet above the ground when you're seated in the plane
Well, here comes Horse's Commanding Officer (CO) wearing his khaki uniform. We're just fucking off giving each other obscene hand signals and razzing each other on the radio. Horse and the CO are trying to have a conversation, but there's just too much ambient noise. Due to Alert 5 status, not allowed to lower boarding ladder without permission from Air Boss in tower. Horse takes his helmet off, still can't understand each other. CO motions for Horse to lean over. Horse unstraps, leans over and drops a stream of spent spit on his CO's starched khaki shirt!!! Hilarity ensued! I'm laughing so hard I'm afraid I'm going to shit myself. The CO is fucking screaming at Horse!!! His face was so red it was almost purple. I get Horse's back seater on the radio. He wasn't paying attention, buried in his radar. I tell Tiny (back seater) what's happening. He peeks over the side and then leans as far forward as he can, basically ducking so the CO won't see him busting out laughing. Everyone but Horse and the CO are basically dying at this point, everyone is all over the radio talking about it. Finally, the CO's rant ends, he stomps off the flight deck.
After the hilarity died down, I wiped my eyes and called Horse. "Horse, you are so fucked." Horse said, 'You have no idea. If we go flying, it might not bother me to get shot down, Saddam's got nothing on my CO.'
We didn't go flying. Dipping was banned in Horse's squadron aircraft. I can still see it all in my mind.
Beautiful.

[duathman]

Time for meet up isn't it? Derk40 is 27 minutes away according to google gps. Layers of accountability is important.

[Emulator]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

Bravo! Brav-fucking-O!!

Shakespeare ain't got shit on the way a story should be told, compared to you Sluggo!!

That story completely took away all the rage I was dealing with today!

.....my girlfriend told me about this dude at the gym......and um.....I think that I know who it is....... :o

Man, this gas post has really got some run. Not much to say about it. I just wanted to get in on the action, bump it up to the top for no particular reason and keep it rolling. Figure it will give me some Saturday quit karma.

Good quit going on in here. Quit on sluggo.

Sluggo, we could use a good story today!

Now that is good story telling. I feel like I was there and saw the hole thing. LOL!!!!!!!

I farted today and..... dammit , i thought of this story and had to come back and read it again.... I'm proud to be quit with you slugs....

[Mthomas3824]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

Bravo! Brav-fucking-O!!

Shakespeare ain't got shit on the way a story should be told, compared to you Sluggo!!

That story completely took away all the rage I was dealing with today!

.....my girlfriend told me about this dude at the gym......and um.....I think that I know who it is....... :o

Man, this gas post has really got some run. Not much to say about it. I just wanted to get in on the action, bump it up to the top for no particular reason and keep it rolling. Figure it will give me some Saturday quit karma.

Good quit going on in here. Quit on sluggo.

Sluggo, we could use a good story today!

Now that is good story telling. I feel like I was there and saw the hole thing. LOL!!!!!!!

[Minny]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

Bravo! Brav-fucking-O!!

Shakespeare ain't got shit on the way a story should be told, compared to you Sluggo!!

That story completely took away all the rage I was dealing with today!

.....my girlfriend told me about this dude at the gym......and um.....I think that I know who it is....... :o

Man, this gas post has really got some run. Not much to say about it. I just wanted to get in on the action, bump it up to the top for no particular reason and keep it rolling. Figure it will give me some Saturday quit karma.

Good quit going on in here. Quit on sluggo.

Sluggo, we could use a good story today!

[Derk40]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

Bravo! Brav-fucking-O!!

Shakespeare ain't got shit on the way a story should be told, compared to you Sluggo!!

That story completely took away all the rage I was dealing with today!

.....my girlfriend told me about this dude at the gym......and um.....I think that I know who it is....... :o

Man, this gas post has really got some run. Not much to say about it. I just wanted to get in on the action, bump it up to the top for no particular reason and keep it rolling. Figure it will give me some Saturday quit karma.

Good quit going on in here. Quit on sluggo.

[Ginet]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

Bravo! Brav-fucking-O!!

Shakespeare ain't got shit on the way a story should be told, compared to you Sluggo!!

That story completely took away all the rage I was dealing with today!

.....my girlfriend told me about this dude at the gym......and um.....I think that I know who it is....... :o

[golfpro9696]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

Bravo! Brav-fucking-O!!

Shakespeare ain't got shit on the way a story should be told, compared to you Sluggo!!

That story completely took away all the rage I was dealing with today!