Getting my QUIT on!

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

You gotta let us know if you run into this chick again.

[Pinched]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

OMFG, thank you for that I needed a good laugh today. That is fantastic, love it!

[rdad]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

Sam ,
That must suck ass if you are wearing all of your motorcycle gear all of the time like you are supposed to! That's a lot of layers to take off. Kinda risky. Maybe you should just ride around in your underwear. I little road rash would be better than a pantful of runnies.'crackup'

[SAM83]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

Man I am wiping tears out of my eyes....thank you, I keep hearing about constipation on this site, and I went the complete opposite...you used to be able to set your watch to my ass...gas and all over the board now....I am writing a guide book on gas station restrooms between my house and work. 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

[rdad]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

That's our Sluggo! The Flatulent Fighter Pilot! 'crackup'

[rtpope]

Just had to share this…Since my quit began I've had the absolute foulest gas of my life.  The "If I had a dog, I wouldn't blame this on him" kind of flatulence.
I eat super clean, no wheat, no processed food, no fast food.  Fighting this bitch, though, has got my bowels in a tectonic shift.  A shift so massive that today I nasally assaulted a hottie at the gym.  I'm on the treadmill grinding out my cardio and 10 minutes in a 7 face/9 body mounts the treadmill next to mine since it was the only one open at the time.  I'm married so I really don't care, give her the nonchalant nod and soldier on.  Ten minutes later, iPod streaming, ESPN on the little TV…I feel it coming on.  I'm drenched in sweat, 40 minutes to go, trying my best to hold this thing in. Last thing I want to do is shart myself in the gym…I'm wearing shorts, got the visual?
Well, I try the one cheek sneak, and it works, a little.  But trying to deliver this volume of putrid gas 25ml at a time isn't going to happen.  But, I can't go full auto or everyone's going to the E.R.  Over the course of the next 15 minutes I delivered a steady stream of putrefaction rivaled only by Fat Bastard.  Since the treadmill next to our heroine is now empty, it's obvious that I'm the source.  I couldn't blame it on her, she knows…she knows.
Alas, their is a limit to her nasal capacity.  She gets off her treadmill and GOES DIRECTLY to a now empty one at the end of the line! No fake trip to the can, fake phone call or fake stretching!  I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Guess i need to dye my hair now.  But how do you dye a bald spot?

'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup' I can't even get girls to look at me anymore. Good job!

That's freaking hilarious bro! I remember the gas, in fact I kept it till about day 200. I also eat healthy no fast food, wheat, processed foods! Thanks for sharing that funny event with us! Rock on!

Fucking hilarious. 'crackup'

Thanks sluggo... That story is burnt in my memory now. Funny thing is.. I would have played it the same way ......... Man gotta do what man gotta do..The rest of the world can try and understand.. or not

200 days? 200 days? Hell, I'm going to move down wind of either a paper mill or a hog slaughtering facility. I almost had to put on my NBC warfare gear and break out the atropine. I know most of us are proud of their 'scent', but this was just fucking ridiculous. It was so powerful, the smell morphed into a taste.
Probably have to pay for a new paint job at the gym.
Pinched, I have friends who fly for SWA, I'll alert them. Does TSA know?

Easy slug go - I only had it for a couple days. But one thing for sure ...twas hell from whence it came,of that I'm certain...

This is one of the greatest fart stories ever!

I was reading your thread hoping to find another awesome fighter pilot story. When I read this shit, I laughed so hard it became an uncontrollable giggle.

[Krusty]

Day 21, kind of sitting on a cloud, I feel fanfuckingtastic! In a couple text groups that provide hourly support and virtual friendship. I have an immense sense of gratitude for this site and all you fucking idiots today. I work (so to speak) from home and have had a couple SLOW weeks. This has given me the opportunity to hang out in Chat quite a bit.
The fellowship and shit-slinging in there is incredible. Watching a couple grizzled veterans and not so grizzled ones turn a lurker into a quitter in a few minutes is remarkable. We all stared into the abyss of quit, some of us just needed a nudge. KTC will nudge the hell out of you if you let it.
I'm kind of a type A+ personality, alpha male asshole and I don't have too many introspective moments wash over me. But, I had one today. Thanks to all you inmates here at the asylum. I appreciate the opportunity to participate and I'm grateful for what you all have shared with me.
Quit with all of you every damn day.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.
Oh, yeah,and...go fuck yourself

'Finger'

Amen, brotha. Proud to quit alongside you in Mayhem, and I wait with bated breath the next installment of Slug's Sentimental Horseshit. Keep on keepin' on, bro.

[Mogul]

That is some funny ass shit there. Way to be slug

[Derk40]

Day 21, kind of sitting on a cloud, I feel fanfuckingtastic!  In a couple text groups that provide hourly support and virtual friendship.  I have an immense sense of gratitude for this site and all you fucking idiots today.   I work (so to speak) from home and have had a couple SLOW weeks.  This has given me the opportunity to hang out in Chat quite a bit.
The fellowship and shit-slinging in there is incredible.  Watching a couple grizzled veterans and not so grizzled ones turn a lurker into a quitter in a few minutes is remarkable.  We all stared into the abyss of quit, some of us just needed a nudge.  KTC will nudge the hell out of you if you let it.    
I'm kind of a type A+ personality, alpha male asshole and I don't have too many introspective moments wash over me.  But, I had one today.  Thanks to all you inmates here at the asylum.  I appreciate the opportunity to participate and I'm grateful for what you all have shared with me.
Quit with all of you every damn day.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.
Oh, yeah,and...go fuck yourself

'Finger'

Great post ghey wad!

Blow me, Grizz...again!

Nice F-in quit you got going there flyboy! Keep it up. QLF!

[Bean]

You should have rolled down your window and tossed your old spitters out over Iraq. I know, it would be impossible...to do much damage, I mean. But it would be gross as Hell to get hit by a super-sonic wintergreen quid.

As far a bad maps, have yall tried Google Maps? I bet you could dial up Bagdad, couln't you? Remember to pin your boat, so you know how to get back.

[slug.go]

Day 21, kind of sitting on a cloud, I feel fanfuckingtastic!  In a couple text groups that provide hourly support and virtual friendship.  I have an immense sense of gratitude for this site and all you fucking idiots today.  I work (so to speak) from home and have had a couple SLOW weeks.  This has given me the opportunity to hang out in Chat quite a bit.
The fellowship and shit-slinging in there is incredible.  Watching a couple grizzled veterans and not so grizzled ones turn a lurker into a quitter in a few minutes is remarkable.  We all stared into the abyss of quit, some of us just needed a nudge.  KTC will nudge the hell out of you if you let it.   
I'm kind of a type A+ personality, alpha male asshole and I don't have too many introspective moments wash over me.  But, I had one today.  Thanks to all you inmates here at the asylum.  I appreciate the opportunity to participate and I'm grateful for what you all have shared with me.
Quit with all of you every damn day.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.
Oh, yeah,and...go fuck yourself

'Finger'

Great post ghey wad!

Blow me, Grizz...again!

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

Day 21, kind of sitting on a cloud, I feel fanfuckingtastic! In a couple text groups that provide hourly support and virtual friendship. I have an immense sense of gratitude for this site and all you fucking idiots today. I work (so to speak) from home and have had a couple SLOW weeks. This has given me the opportunity to hang out in Chat quite a bit.
The fellowship and shit-slinging in there is incredible. Watching a couple grizzled veterans and not so grizzled ones turn a lurker into a quitter in a few minutes is remarkable. We all stared into the abyss of quit, some of us just needed a nudge. KTC will nudge the hell out of you if you let it.
I'm kind of a type A+ personality, alpha male asshole and I don't have too many introspective moments wash over me. But, I had one today. Thanks to all you inmates here at the asylum. I appreciate the opportunity to participate and I'm grateful for what you all have shared with me.
Quit with all of you every damn day.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.
Oh, yeah,and...go fuck yourself

'Finger'

Great post ghey wad!

[slug.go]

Day 21, kind of sitting on a cloud, I feel fanfuckingtastic! In a couple text groups that provide hourly support and virtual friendship. I have an immense sense of gratitude for this site and all you fucking idiots today. I work (so to speak) from home and have had a couple SLOW weeks. This has given me the opportunity to hang out in Chat quite a bit.
The fellowship and shit-slinging in there is incredible. Watching a couple grizzled veterans and not so grizzled ones turn a lurker into a quitter in a few minutes is remarkable. We all stared into the abyss of quit, some of us just needed a nudge. KTC will nudge the hell out of you if you let it.
I'm kind of a type A+ personality, alpha male asshole and I don't have too many introspective moments wash over me. But, I had one today. Thanks to all you inmates here at the asylum. I appreciate the opportunity to participate and I'm grateful for what you all have shared with me.
Quit with all of you every damn day.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.
Oh, yeah,and...go fuck yourself

'Finger'

[bigrob5257]

Stupid dipping stories.
I was a pilot in the Navy.  One 6 month deployment to the Persian Gulf had a night 2 plane mission over Iraq.  New guy is scheduled to be my wing man.  He asks if he can have the lead, I say sure but you have to do all the planning (which is good for Sluggo).
So, he briefs, we walk to the roof and strap on our aircraft.  Night, shitty weather, bad visibility going into Injun Country.  Start engines, taxi to catapult...Boom, we're flying.  Get to 1,000' and put on night vision goggles and insert fat dip, really fat dip.  This was when my chew was Skoal Wintergreen which made me spit...a lot. 
OK, gotta find my flight lead, go to rendezvous point, solid rain.  Fuck, my only job as wing is to find lead and NEVER lose sight.  Get radar vectors from ship...Tally ho!
Join on his left wing, cross under to his right side and we instantly enter solid clouds.  Now the weather is so shitty that I have to fly very tight Blue Angel-ish formation, no big deal but I can't take my hands off the throttles or stick and I gotta spit.  Force a slight swallow, fight the gag, gonna be a long hour and a half.  As we enter the airspace, an area we call Microwave Alley is point 1.  All the random transmitters and radars there always light up our missile warning gear.  I've done this several times and just ignore it.  Not our brave lead, he goes bat shit on the controls and I can't lose him or I'll never find him due to the weather.  I look like a monkey trying to fuck a greased football trying to maintain position, sweating my ass off and managing these micro-swallows.  Surely the weather will get better and I can back off just 5 feet and sneak a real generous spit.  Surely not.  Dipshit me hangs on to new guy's ever nervous wing as he yanks and banks all over Southern Iraq for an hour, all the while managing an unending series of micro swallows and upset stomach.  I'm sweating, pissed off and about to fucking hurl.  Finally we head back to Das Boat and we spilt up to prepare for landing.  Oh, sweet mercy!  Pull out spitter and unload an hour long sponge of nicotine.  Drink some water, I have 10 minute until I start down the pipe to the boat.  Stomach's recovering, a little.  Stopped sweating, might just live after all.  So what dumb ol' Sluggo do next?  You got it, I put in my 'landing dip'.  Some people never learn. 
  'bang head'

I can relate! ....One time during high school tennis practice......(never mind)
You is a badass sluggo. and an even more badass in my book for being a quitter. I bet you could have flown that mission better not worrying if you were gonna hurl!

Great story sluggo, hilarious follow up rdad. More fighter jet stories, please. 'crackup'

Ya Sluggo! More stories. I'm all about vicarious adventures!

Sluggo is flying fighter jets and shit. Bad fuckin ass. More please.

My best story is spitting down in the metal grates inside the glass doors of the freezers in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store and getting spotted by a neighbor who then proceeded to keep talking to me while I had a fat honker of fresh dog shit in and juice running down my chin. She was appalled.

That's some funny stuff right there! 'crackup'

Hey Slug.go.. you ever get any bad maps??? I used to work for DMA

I didn't but during the first part of Desert Storm some assets were using the wrong WGS for a while and were slinging bombs all over the place!

Great story slug.go! You are winning!

Please give us more fighter pilot stories.

I laughed my ass off thinking about a fighter pilot having to spit...

That is bad ass....

My big fear would be tossing in that one big fatty that trips an internal switch  sends you scampering for the potty... Kind of hard when you're strapped into a fighter jet, I would think!

Epic story sluggo.. Proud to be one of your brothers in May 14!

[golfpro9696]

Stupid dipping stories.
I was a pilot in the Navy.  One 6 month deployment to the Persian Gulf had a night 2 plane mission over Iraq.  New guy is scheduled to be my wing man.  He asks if he can have the lead, I say sure but you have to do all the planning (which is good for Sluggo).
So, he briefs, we walk to the roof and strap on our aircraft.  Night, shitty weather, bad visibility going into Injun Country.  Start engines, taxi to catapult...Boom, we're flying.  Get to 1,000' and put on night vision goggles and insert fat dip, really fat dip.  This was when my chew was Skoal Wintergreen which made me spit...a lot. 
OK, gotta find my flight lead, go to rendezvous point, solid rain.  Fuck, my only job as wing is to find lead and NEVER lose sight.  Get radar vectors from ship...Tally ho!
Join on his left wing, cross under to his right side and we instantly enter solid clouds.  Now the weather is so shitty that I have to fly very tight Blue Angel-ish formation, no big deal but I can't take my hands off the throttles or stick and I gotta spit.  Force a slight swallow, fight the gag, gonna be a long hour and a half.  As we enter the airspace, an area we call Microwave Alley is point 1.  All the random transmitters and radars there always light up our missile warning gear.  I've done this several times and just ignore it.  Not our brave lead, he goes bat shit on the controls and I can't lose him or I'll never find him due to the weather.  I look like a monkey trying to fuck a greased football trying to maintain position, sweating my ass off and managing these micro-swallows.  Surely the weather will get better and I can back off just 5 feet and sneak a real generous spit.  Surely not.  Dipshit me hangs on to new guy's ever nervous wing as he yanks and banks all over Southern Iraq for an hour, all the while managing an unending series of micro swallows and upset stomach.  I'm sweating, pissed off and about to fucking hurl.  Finally we head back to Das Boat and we spilt up to prepare for landing.  Oh, sweet mercy!  Pull out spitter and unload an hour long sponge of nicotine.  Drink some water, I have 10 minute until I start down the pipe to the boat.  Stomach's recovering, a little.  Stopped sweating, might just live after all.  So what dumb ol' Sluggo do next?  You got it, I put in my 'landing dip'.  Some people never learn. 
  'bang head'

I can relate! ....One time during high school tennis practice......(never mind)
You is a badass sluggo. and an even more badass in my book for being a quitter. I bet you could have flown that mission better not worrying if you were gonna hurl!

Great story sluggo, hilarious follow up rdad. More fighter jet stories, please. 'crackup'

Ya Sluggo! More stories. I'm all about vicarious adventures!

Sluggo is flying fighter jets and shit. Bad fuckin ass. More please.

My best story is spitting down in the metal grates inside the glass doors of the freezers in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store and getting spotted by a neighbor who then proceeded to keep talking to me while I had a fat honker of fresh dog shit in and juice running down my chin. She was appalled.

That's some funny stuff right there! 'crackup'

Hey Slug.go.. you ever get any bad maps??? I used to work for DMA

I didn't but during the first part of Desert Storm some assets were using the wrong WGS for a while and were slinging bombs all over the place!

Great story slug.go! You are winning!

Please give us more fighter pilot stories.

I laughed my ass off thinking about a fighter pilot having to spit...

That is bad ass....

My big fear would be tossing in that one big fatty that trips an internal switch  sends you scampering for the potty... Kind of hard when you're strapped into a fighter jet, I would think!