I have seen alot of posts about cravings and how they sneak back in even after tens or hundreds of days quit. I have to say, this is what led to me making the stupid decision to take several "one last dip(s)" during the last couple months after having been quit for over 100 days. It wasn't so much that single isolated craving on that particular day....but the thought that "It is always going to be this bad, the cravings are always going to be this strong, and I will not be able to keep this monkey off my back forever....why am I trying to kid myself."
Then the self rationalization comes into play "I work hard, I treat people good, I'm not a drug head or alcoholic.....I deserve this one pleasure in life." For me, these few slip up may have actually helped me in my quit, because as I said earlier in this thread, the actual experience of putting another dip in my lip (after not having any for well over 100 days) was a huge disappointment. There was no warm and tingly, no relaxation, no stress relief, no surge of energy, no burst of courage, not even a good taste. Just shame, disappointment in my self , and the realization that the stressful day or situation that led me to this point was still there.
So, I don't care if cravings ever do go away, I don't care if they never ease up...I have resolved to embrace these cravings. I will also embrace the times I caved over the last couple months. The cravings remind me what a grip tobacco had on my life, what a weakness I had, and how much strength and determination it took to overcome this (praise Jesus). I would be willing to bet that VERY few people in this world could put tobacco down and walk away from it once they were addicted to the point that I (and all of you I'm sure) was. We are pretty bad ass...and we need to keep that in mind. When a craving hits, I will use it as a reminder to thank God for delivering me from slowly financing my own cancer and cardiovascular disease. If there were no more cravings, I might forget what a pitiful, weak, addicted punk I used to be.......I will embrace the times I caved and put that crap back in my mouth and use it as a reminder of what a foolish, nasty thing it really is. This is much easier to see once you have a clear head and can look at it objectively. I threw away well over 100 days of "sobriety".....and then the experiences were not even enjoyable!!!!
N E V E R again.
Embrace the suck, embrace your shortcomings, embrace your stupidity, embrace your weakness......and use them as weapons against the former weak, addicted, tobacco enslaved self that is desperately fighting to get the best of you. Get mad, get serious, and stay quit.
