So, this is going to be it. While I've learned to never say 'never', I need to renew my life insurance, my wife has been on me since I re-started, my 10 year old knows what those cans are now, and my 6 year old would take my empties and hide them as if they were treasure.
I quit for almost 4 years once. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer, and had to start Chemo...I decided, before I went into surgery, that I was done chewing. quit. cold turkey. 2 weeks of surgery recovery, followed by 12 weeks of chemo made it pretty easy. That was early 2003. I still thought about chew every few seconds for at least a year.
Eventually, during a long road trip in late 2006, i decided to have some loose leaf chew. dumb mistake. however i still stayed away from snuff, and only occasionally had some red man or beechnut.
Then, I moved back out West to Boise. Made friends with a few mountain bikers, ALL OF WHOM dipped...within 2 or 3 months I was fully addicted again.
So here I am again, hopefully for the last time, putting myself through this extremely difficult process. Dealing with my brain trying to justify why i need a chew every 10 seconds. Dealing with tossing and turning in bed. Being overly irritable to my beautiful wife and 2 daughters. Luckily they are supporting me.
I'm gonna do it this time. I'm older, a bit more wise, love my family more than ever, want to stay more physically fit with no chemical dependence, and of course, stop wasting money.
Wish me luck. I'll check in at regular intervals so that my progress can be recorded and celebrated.
BRW
