Below is something I posted, well, on my first day on KTC and then on day 155 - that means it's been 865 days ago. The below is important information for each quitter - in terms of KNOWING THEMSELVES - forget the crap about the ex-wife...she's got a lot bigger problems than my having been a dipper...it was just her excuse...and proof as to why I had to quit and remain quit for myself and not her...read and take what is useful....discard the rest...let me know if you need a number...welcome to the QUIT
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I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
I figure at 155 days I needed to reflect upon this first introduction...and point out a few things I have learned in order to maybe help other new quitters.
A lot is said about the fear of cancer...people see the pictures of jaws sliced open for removal of tissue, see the scars and deformities left to remind former users of the price they paid for their addiction...
There are other prices that this addiction can cost you. In my introduction, I talked about the lies "nearly ruining my marriage." People might say that the lies are not necessarily related to the addiction to nicotine, it might just be that I am a scumbag. Who knows, maybe that is the reason, but I kind of doubt that.
To update this, I am in the middle of moving out of my house into an apartment and preparing for separation/divorce. My wife has stated that above all, the most damaging thing in our 14.5 years of being married was the daily lies about dipping. Having hid it, told her that I would quit, telling our kids that I would quit...and not keeping my word.
Even though I have been quit for 155 days, the damage has already been done...and the trust has been eaten away over the years of use...of years of lies...just like cancer.
Does this type of thing happen to everyone? No. Not everyone that dips or smokes gets cancer, either. I am sure that many of you are saying, can't possibly happen to me...I know, I was one of those guys...after all, I figured that my wife being a marriage therapist, there was no way my marriage would fail. BUT it can...and the addict mentality is one of the main reasons...addict mentality will keep you willing to lie to yourself and others in order to keep your addiction.
This addiction is not simply about not dipping. For you to be HEALTHY, you have to get rid of the addict mentality...you have to see it for what it is. Don't let it destroy more than just your lip/jaw...
