10 year user, grizzly wintergreen exclusively for at least the last 5 years. Addictive personality by nature. I started the new year off right by deciding to go the month of January with no alcohol, no pot, no caffeine, in order to prepare for the quit of my life on 1/11/15, the anniversary of a family member's loss to cancer. I am so tired of hiding the shit everywhere I go, sneaking into the bathroom for a quick dip, tucking it deep into my cheeks at work and during meetings, hiding spitters behind my laptop, finding them in the car, or just walking into my bedroom with the perfume of tobacco being ever noticeable because I forgot to throw a spitter away in the morning.
Day one was fine. I ate a ton of food, but otherwise I was OK. Then I went back to work on monday and I caved, bought a can, threw one in and then threw the can out, then did it again in the afternoon. Today was the same story, so tomorrow starts at day one again. I want to quit, I need to quit, and I have support outside of this forum, but I need the forum to keep me honest. I need the support of people that have seen the light and I need to be able to relate to the people in my quit group. I will be posting my day one again tomorrow. No more bullshit. Bring on the fog, Bring on the anxiety, Bring on the fear, Bring on whatever it takes so I can get back my freedom from this nasty drug.