Day 6 kinda sucked hard.
Here's how it ended...
One of my closest friends wanted to go out with me tonight but I don't want to drink right now. I've given my promise so I knew I wouldn't smoke but I didn't want to make it even harder on myself. So I told her no drinking and then she kept making it later and later and I have to work tomorrow. And I'm not really feeling like my super peppy normal self right now. She knows I quit smoking and has been bugging me to do it but now it's all basically "you not smoking is ruining my fun!" So she starts sending text after fucking guilt trip text about how she never gets to go out and why won't I go out with her. I'm in bed and SHE COMES TO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!
So I go out there and she's hostile. "You don't want to be with me. I don't need your charity."
Fuck woman. I'm here now!
So we're trying to talk but its not exactly easy at this point. She's texting other people trying to make plans because I'm refusing to go to a bar with her... So I start telling her about this site and you guys. She starts going OFF about how stupid it is and why do I need anyone to quit? That accountability is lame and if I need someone to help me then maybe I'm not very strong. I should just quit for me and it's really dumb and wrong that I'd use anyone as a crutch.
What. The. Fuck.
I got out of the car and left. She's all... Did I make you mad??
Maybe... Just maybe.... I need to be HERE because my actual friends fucking SUCK!
Fuck day 6. I'm going to sleep.
A bump in the quit road. If she's truly your friend she will come around and support you.
You need to be selfish right now. And I'm not talking about chosing "us" over "them".
I'm talking soley about doing what is best for YOU.
Your friends aren't going anywhere, bars are not going extinct, nothing says you will NEVER go out for drinks again...just not right now. This is too important. Why tempt fate for the sake of others, when it's YOU who is trying to better YOUR life.
Fact of the matter is that for 24 years you chose to be a slave to cigarettes. That's a long ass time.
You're gonna need some time to deal with this. This is a big change in your life and not one where you can run in all the same circles you once did.
Their are certain tools you need to acquire to learn how to avoid certaing triggers and pitfalls. Until then the best way to avoid them is to eliminate them. Not forever, but just until YOU are comfortable and confident. And you sure as hell don't need anyone laying a guilt trip on you while your going through the process, because you are ruining THEIR fun.
Think of it like this...it might suck right now, and your friend might be pissed at you and you may be stressing over that and other things going on in your life.
But it won't be like this forever.
This is just a small snapshot of suckiness in your life. A snapshot that over time will develope into one of the most beautiful pictures of your life. Because you will have rid yourself of one of the most disgusting, life threatening addictions known to man (or woman).
If one night your girlfriend gets all hella pissed and starts big drama, so what.
You need to keep your eye on the prize and dont let anything get in your way. Because in the end , you are doing the right thing.
You know it, we know it, and even your pissy friend knows it.
Keep up the good work. Need anything. Pm me anytime.
You got this, shiznit!!!!
