River, does you girlfriend know you dip? I was worried about telling my girlfriend about my secret addiction, but it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done to help my quit. She might be pissed off at first (Mine was), but it will be worth it to have someone close to you to lean on for support.
She must not know about my addiction. She is true grit as car as females go and would undoubtedly call my red little ass on the carpet if she caught wind of it. That has helped me to become very sly about my ways of dipping. We do not live together, making it easier for me to get away with it. Ive trained myself to be very clean about it. No rotten spitters, no empty tins, no Grizzle Sticks in the seats of my pickup trucks, and a pearly white grin.
But... At the same time as I'm writting this, I wonder why she hasn't asked me? She knows my past and my not so truthful track record...
She isn't stupid and she's probably two steps ahead as usual. She poked at me trying to figure out my lousy attitude on life, and why I never talk deeper than the weather or our weekend plans... I broke down and told her I come home after work and get drunk and go to bed and go back to work. Horrible rut, I know.
The dipping, believe it or not, had bothered me more than the drinking.
I'd get a hair up my ass and say fuck Grizzly! I'm never buying it EVER AGAIN! ...next thing I knew I'd be fuckin sloshed ass hammered staggering down to my local grog shop to eat a can of shit. This will have been my demise if not for this site. Unofficially had to lay off the drink to quit the dip. Reading other peoples stories has made me reflect on myself and realize I have piss poor self evaluation skills, and that I can't be trusted with beer in my fridge. I have a good job, all the motorized toys I want, several trucks and a bad ass boat and above all, an awesome girl.
I can see all this slipping away if I don't get my focking shit straight. I just couldn't attach a handle on it, not even for one day. If I fail, it won't be today. Even the past week and some change being dip free has made me hungry for the next. I keep busy, I browse the site, I work my ass off, waxed the inner fender wells on the Ford, go out of my way to see the woman.. I'm finding I love these things that I've missed out on for the 600-700 nights of my life, prior to the last 9 days. So many moments I was blind to at the time.. I've ran away from life for a small portion of each day so that I may go tear open a tin. As for the female...
At this point I don't think she will dump my ass, but may be harder than necessary on her, I know it will be a bitch for me to tell her. I would rather rely on the February Fucksticks at this point in time.
