I'm Back. I'm Dumb.

[omahaflyer]

700 'clap'

Truly Bad Ass in ever sense of the word. Thanks for all you do WP. Congrats on the 7th floor!!

CONGRATS WP!!! 7th floor bad ass and on the heels of your marathon finish... truely motivational rock on.

Great Job !

[traumagnet]

700 'clap'

Truly Bad Ass in ever sense of the word. Thanks for all you do WP. Congrats on the 7th floor!!

CONGRATS WP!!! 7th floor bad ass and on the heels of your marathon finish... truely motivational rock on.

[jaynellie]

700 'clap'

Truly Bad Ass in ever sense of the word. Thanks for all you do WP. Congrats on the 7th floor!!

[cbird65]

700 'clap'

[mule]

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting an OSU great (albeit fallen), Jim Tressel.

The man is a legend in Ohio.  He has ties to my area, and after the Ohio State thing went down, he settled at the University of Akron.  He's on a few boards around the area, and does smaller events now.  I will tell you that he is one helluva speaker though.

He talked a little about 2002 team last night, and what it took for them to get there.  In his first 2 seasons, the teams were (basically) .500 teams.  When evaluating the players, the coaches realized these kids did not know how to be champions.  They were always told they could be champions.  They had the talent and potential to be champions. 

They just had no idea how.

As a team, they were given the assignment of reading a book about the first national championship team (1942) at OSU.  The book had a little biography about each of the 43 players on the roster that season.  What is surprising is that, despite being the best team on the field that year, is what happened afterwards.  Over 30 of those players enlisted in the armed services the next season and fought in World War II.  3 or them died.  A few became war heroes.  Most of them went onto great things that did not involve football.

The coaching staff decided to have as many in that season to speak to the team about what it's like to be "them".  The first speaker on the eve of the season was an 80 professor from that team.  He had enlisted, became a war hero, and was a leading pioneer in videography.  The boys were in awe of him as they had read about his great achievements, and were excited to hear what he had to say.

His message was simple:  It's not the past that matters.  It's right now.  What can you do right now to be part of something extraordinary?  Individually, we can do good.  Together, we can be great.  But it takes every one of us to work as one; to trust; to be united; to excel.  Individually,we are good.  Together, we are extraordinary. 

There has been some very tough talk on this site lately.  I see a lot of us turning on each other.  That's not going to fly in my book.  We can disagree, but we can't separate.  It's what she wants.  She wants us to divide so that she can attack us individually.  She wants us to be good; not extraordinary.

I love this site with all of my heart, and I will fight for it to my death.  I've seen arguments on both side of this disagreement that make sense.  But I see a ton of brothers sticking up for each other.  I see them becoming extraordinary.

I see them giving someone hope that may be telling himself that he's special and may not be able to be cured.  Do you really want to condemn somebody to this mentality, or do you want to be part of something extraordinary?  None of us are butterflies, but we do have a job to do.

Do your part, and be part of something extraordinary.  All of you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

For the record, the true consensus #1 in 1942 was not the suckeyes. I think y'all won the AP which was made up of a bunch of yankee "sportswriters" who drank cosmos and preferred watching shirtless men play beach volleyball over football. The number 1 team had a little guy called Frankie Sinkwich playing halfback and won the rose bowl that season.

:blink: :wacko: :( :unsure: :huh: :o ^_^ ;) :rolleyes: :) :lol: :D 'crackup' 'crackup' 'crackup'

[traumagnet]

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting an OSU great (albeit fallen), Jim Tressel.

The man is a legend in Ohio.  He has ties to my area, and after the Ohio State thing went down, he settled at the University of Akron.  He's on a few boards around the area, and does smaller events now.  I will tell you that he is one helluva speaker though.

He talked a little about 2002 team last night, and what it took for them to get there.  In his first 2 seasons, the teams were (basically) .500 teams.  When evaluating the players, the coaches realized these kids did not know how to be champions.  They were always told they could be champions.  They had the talent and potential to be champions. 

They just had no idea how.

As a team, they were given the assignment of reading a book about the first national championship team (1942) at OSU.  The book had a little biography about each of the 43 players on the roster that season.  What is surprising is that, despite being the best team on the field that year, is what happened afterwards.  Over 30 of those players enlisted in the armed services the next season and fought in World War II.  3 or them died.  A few became war heroes.  Most of them went onto great things that did not involve football.

The coaching staff decided to have as many in that season to speak to the team about what it's like to be "them".  The first speaker on the eve of the season was an 80 professor from that team.  He had enlisted, became a war hero, and was a leading pioneer in videography.  The boys were in awe of him as they had read about his great achievements, and were excited to hear what he had to say.

His message was simple:  It's not the past that matters.  It's right now.  What can you do right now to be part of something extraordinary?  Individually, we can do good.  Together, we can be great.  But it takes every one of us to work as one; to trust; to be united; to excel.  Individually,we are good.  Together, we are extraordinary. 

There has been some very tough talk on this site lately.  I see a lot of us turning on each other.  That's not going to fly in my book.  We can disagree, but we can't separate.  It's what she wants.  She wants us to divide so that she can attack us individually.  She wants us to be good; not extraordinary.

I love this site with all of my heart, and I will fight for it to my death.  I've seen arguments on both side of this disagreement that make sense.  But I see a ton of brothers sticking up for each other.  I see them becoming extraordinary.

I see them giving someone hope that may be telling himself that he's special and may not be able to be cured.  Do you really want to condemn somebody to this mentality, or do you want to be part of something extraordinary?  None of us are butterflies, but we do have a job to do.

Do your part, and be part of something extraordinary.  All of you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

i'm all in waste...thanks for posting that.

waste your words are in my foundation.. thanks for all you share with us..
when ever I read your posts not only are you saying something I can relate to, but it's timing is usually spot on as well.. peace

Would have to agree with Kana timing is spot on...thanks quit with you today.

[kana]

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting an OSU great (albeit fallen), Jim Tressel.

The man is a legend in Ohio.  He has ties to my area, and after the Ohio State thing went down, he settled at the University of Akron.  He's on a few boards around the area, and does smaller events now.  I will tell you that he is one helluva speaker though.

He talked a little about 2002 team last night, and what it took for them to get there.  In his first 2 seasons, the teams were (basically) .500 teams.  When evaluating the players, the coaches realized these kids did not know how to be champions.  They were always told they could be champions.  They had the talent and potential to be champions. 

They just had no idea how.

As a team, they were given the assignment of reading a book about the first national championship team (1942) at OSU.  The book had a little biography about each of the 43 players on the roster that season.  What is surprising is that, despite being the best team on the field that year, is what happened afterwards.  Over 30 of those players enlisted in the armed services the next season and fought in World War II.  3 or them died.  A few became war heroes.  Most of them went onto great things that did not involve football.

The coaching staff decided to have as many in that season to speak to the team about what it's like to be "them".  The first speaker on the eve of the season was an 80 professor from that team.  He had enlisted, became a war hero, and was a leading pioneer in videography.  The boys were in awe of him as they had read about his great achievements, and were excited to hear what he had to say.

His message was simple:  It's not the past that matters.  It's right now.  What can you do right now to be part of something extraordinary?  Individually, we can do good.  Together, we can be great.  But it takes every one of us to work as one; to trust; to be united; to excel.  Individually,we are good.  Together, we are extraordinary. 

There has been some very tough talk on this site lately.  I see a lot of us turning on each other.  That's not going to fly in my book.  We can disagree, but we can't separate.  It's what she wants.  She wants us to divide so that she can attack us individually.  She wants us to be good; not extraordinary.

I love this site with all of my heart, and I will fight for it to my death.  I've seen arguments on both side of this disagreement that make sense.  But I see a ton of brothers sticking up for each other.  I see them becoming extraordinary.

I see them giving someone hope that may be telling himself that he's special and may not be able to be cured.  Do you really want to condemn somebody to this mentality, or do you want to be part of something extraordinary?  None of us are butterflies, but we do have a job to do.

Do your part, and be part of something extraordinary.  All of you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

i'm all in waste...thanks for posting that.

waste your words are in my foundation.. thanks for all you share with us..
when ever I read your posts not only are you saying something I can relate to, but it's timing is usually spot on as well.. peace

[G]

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting an OSU great (albeit fallen), Jim Tressel.

The man is a legend in Ohio. He has ties to my area, and after the Ohio State thing went down, he settled at the University of Akron. He's on a few boards around the area, and does smaller events now. I will tell you that he is one helluva speaker though.

He talked a little about 2002 team last night, and what it took for them to get there. In his first 2 seasons, the teams were (basically) .500 teams. When evaluating the players, the coaches realized these kids did not know how to be champions. They were always told they could be champions. They had the talent and potential to be champions.

They just had no idea how.

As a team, they were given the assignment of reading a book about the first national championship team (1942) at OSU. The book had a little biography about each of the 43 players on the roster that season. What is surprising is that, despite being the best team on the field that year, is what happened afterwards. Over 30 of those players enlisted in the armed services the next season and fought in World War II. 3 or them died. A few became war heroes. Most of them went onto great things that did not involve football.

The coaching staff decided to have as many in that season to speak to the team about what it's like to be "them". The first speaker on the eve of the season was an 80 professor from that team. He had enlisted, became a war hero, and was a leading pioneer in videography. The boys were in awe of him as they had read about his great achievements, and were excited to hear what he had to say.

His message was simple: It's not the past that matters. It's right now. What can you do right now to be part of something extraordinary? Individually, we can do good. Together, we can be great. But it takes every one of us to work as one; to trust; to be united; to excel. Individually,we are good. Together, we are extraordinary.

There has been some very tough talk on this site lately. I see a lot of us turning on each other. That's not going to fly in my book. We can disagree, but we can't separate. It's what she wants. She wants us to divide so that she can attack us individually. She wants us to be good; not extraordinary.

I love this site with all of my heart, and I will fight for it to my death. I've seen arguments on both side of this disagreement that make sense. But I see a ton of brothers sticking up for each other. I see them becoming extraordinary.

I see them giving someone hope that may be telling himself that he's special and may not be able to be cured. Do you really want to condemn somebody to this mentality, or do you want to be part of something extraordinary? None of us are butterflies, but we do have a job to do.

Do your part, and be part of something extraordinary. All of you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

For the record, the true consensus #1 in 1942 was not the suckeyes. I think y'all won the AP which was made up of a bunch of yankee "sportswriters" who drank cosmos and preferred watching shirtless men play beach volleyball over football. The number 1 team had a little guy called Frankie Sinkwich playing halfback and won the rose bowl that season.

[jayd41]

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting an OSU great (albeit fallen), Jim Tressel.

The man is a legend in Ohio. He has ties to my area, and after the Ohio State thing went down, he settled at the University of Akron. He's on a few boards around the area, and does smaller events now. I will tell you that he is one helluva speaker though.

He talked a little about 2002 team last night, and what it took for them to get there. In his first 2 seasons, the teams were (basically) .500 teams. When evaluating the players, the coaches realized these kids did not know how to be champions. They were always told they could be champions. They had the talent and potential to be champions.

They just had no idea how.

As a team, they were given the assignment of reading a book about the first national championship team (1942) at OSU. The book had a little biography about each of the 43 players on the roster that season. What is surprising is that, despite being the best team on the field that year, is what happened afterwards. Over 30 of those players enlisted in the armed services the next season and fought in World War II. 3 or them died. A few became war heroes. Most of them went onto great things that did not involve football.

The coaching staff decided to have as many in that season to speak to the team about what it's like to be "them". The first speaker on the eve of the season was an 80 professor from that team. He had enlisted, became a war hero, and was a leading pioneer in videography. The boys were in awe of him as they had read about his great achievements, and were excited to hear what he had to say.

His message was simple: It's not the past that matters. It's right now. What can you do right now to be part of something extraordinary? Individually, we can do good. Together, we can be great. But it takes every one of us to work as one; to trust; to be united; to excel. Individually,we are good. Together, we are extraordinary.

There has been some very tough talk on this site lately. I see a lot of us turning on each other. That's not going to fly in my book. We can disagree, but we can't separate. It's what she wants. She wants us to divide so that she can attack us individually. She wants us to be good; not extraordinary.

I love this site with all of my heart, and I will fight for it to my death. I've seen arguments on both side of this disagreement that make sense. But I see a ton of brothers sticking up for each other. I see them becoming extraordinary.

I see them giving someone hope that may be telling himself that he's special and may not be able to be cured. Do you really want to condemn somebody to this mentality, or do you want to be part of something extraordinary? None of us are butterflies, but we do have a job to do.

Do your part, and be part of something extraordinary. All of you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

i'm all in waste...thanks for posting that.

[wastepanel]

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting an OSU great (albeit fallen), Jim Tressel.

The man is a legend in Ohio. He has ties to my area, and after the Ohio State thing went down, he settled at the University of Akron. He's on a few boards around the area, and does smaller events now. I will tell you that he is one helluva speaker though.

He talked a little about 2002 team last night, and what it took for them to get there. In his first 2 seasons, the teams were (basically) .500 teams. When evaluating the players, the coaches realized these kids did not know how to be champions. They were always told they could be champions. They had the talent and potential to be champions.

They just had no idea how.

As a team, they were given the assignment of reading a book about the first national championship team (1942) at OSU. The book had a little biography about each of the 43 players on the roster that season. What is surprising is that, despite being the best team on the field that year, is what happened afterwards. Over 30 of those players enlisted in the armed services the next season and fought in World War II. 3 or them died. A few became war heroes. Most of them went onto great things that did not involve football.

The coaching staff decided to have as many in that season to speak to the team about what it's like to be "them". The first speaker on the eve of the season was an 80 professor from that team. He had enlisted, became a war hero, and was a leading pioneer in videography. The boys were in awe of him as they had read about his great achievements, and were excited to hear what he had to say.

His message was simple: It's not the past that matters. It's right now. What can you do right now to be part of something extraordinary? Individually, we can do good. Together, we can be great. But it takes every one of us to work as one; to trust; to be united; to excel. Individually,we are good. Together, we are extraordinary.

There has been some very tough talk on this site lately. I see a lot of us turning on each other. That's not going to fly in my book. We can disagree, but we can't separate. It's what she wants. She wants us to divide so that she can attack us individually. She wants us to be good; not extraordinary.

I love this site with all of my heart, and I will fight for it to my death. I've seen arguments on both side of this disagreement that make sense. But I see a ton of brothers sticking up for each other. I see them becoming extraordinary.

I see them giving someone hope that may be telling himself that he's special and may not be able to be cured. Do you really want to condemn somebody to this mentality, or do you want to be part of something extraordinary? None of us are butterflies, but we do have a job to do.

Do your part, and be part of something extraordinary. All of you.

Proud to be quit with you today.

[eric71]

HereÂ’s A Little Quiz

You donÂ’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read the article straight through, and youÂ’ll get the point.

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decadeÂ’s worth of World Series Winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.  These are no second-rate achievers.  They are the best in their fields.  But the applause dies.  Awards tarnish.  Achievements are forgotten.  Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

HereÂ’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Name five quitters that had an impact on you and your quit.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Did you find that Easier?

The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..

The most moneyÂ…

or the most awardsÂ…

They simply are the ones who care the most.

Quit next to me, and I will applaud you.
Quit with me, and I will remember you.

Most definitely true. Relationships that we make and those we engage with are what last.

Quit with you, side by side, day by day, whatever may come, know I am quit and here to support you at any time.

[wastepanel]

HereÂ’s A Little Quiz

You donÂ’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read the article straight through, and youÂ’ll get the point.

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decadeÂ’s worth of World Series Winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.  These are no second-rate achievers.  They are the best in their fields.  But the applause dies.  Awards tarnish.  Achievements are forgotten.  Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

HereÂ’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Name five quitters that had an impact on you and your quit.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Did you find that Easier?

The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials..

The most moneyÂ…

or the most awardsÂ…

They simply are the ones who care the most.

Quit next to me, and I will applaud you.
Quit with me, and I will remember you.

[Scowick65]

I posted the following question in all of the Pre-Hof groups yesterday:

So, guys....

(Somehow) North Korea somehow manages to get a missile to the United States and we find ourselves in a nuclear war.

You buying a can?

As I expected, most of us typed out a response stating (in condensed fashion) "Fuck that!".

That's good. That's why we quit and that's why we are quit: The door is shut and personal death will not lead us back to that poison.

However, let's explore the question.

I never said that we personally were in danger. In fact, most of us realize that that North Korea's missiles have a range to hit Alaska or Guam currently. What if I told you that in this scenario, I could guarantee your personal safety but I couldn't for some of your loved ones.

What if I changed it and said you will be safe, but you are going to lose 3 people close to you?

You see, it's not danger or the threat of death that guides us back to the can. It's feeling sorry for ourselves really. We're not inspired by the Tom Kern story because he managed to stay quit throughout his sickness. We're inspired because of the hell it put onto his family, and how we don't want our families to write similar words about us one day.

Most of us identify with Tom in the story. But most cave stories aren't from Tom's perspective. We're not fighting "live or die" situations like that. They are from Jenny's (massive stress), and the final conclusion is that nicotine will help.

Most cave stories of returning members do not involve impending death or ruin. They are about feeling sorry for ourselves, and saying "fuck it". The caves come when that person "was trying to deal with" some bullshit in their lives.

That's where the enemy is, boys.

It's when we feel sorry for our predicament, and we let some drug that twisted our brains become an option. It's when that thought that our predicament "will be better if I chewed".

That would be like Jenny Kern dealing with her husband's death by lighting up regularly. It's stupid, and it does nothing to help. It makes it worse. Jenny (per my knowledge) doesn't have that default because she is not an addict to this drug.

Yet, we are.

It will be there whether we like it or not.

It's how we handle ourselves not only in times of trouble, but in the times afterwards, that makes us "quitters". It's when we feel sorry for ourselves and we're looking for that extra something to either make us feel again or to reduce the pain we're in.

Non-addicts don't have this default. We do.

Shut the door, lock the door, and enroll a few good men here to help you hold it shut.

Proud to be quit with all of you today.

Listen up, this man, this guy this speaking the truth.

You could tell me the whole world was ending in less than 24 hours and I would spend my last moments in excruciating agony and misery watching my family be tortured n front of me and it would not change the fact that I am quit. Circumstances do not change my conviction!

I'm fucking quit, end of story.

Although if someone has balls big enough to torture my family, they will pay the most painful death imaginable. Guaranteed.

What if you knew you only had one week to live.....would you buy a few cans and chew like like a mofo that week?

Happily, I probably already know wastepanel's answer to that question and I feel like it's probably the same answer I would give. Not that his would mimic this, but as for me, I'd rather shave porcupines with a dull blade while spanking multiple skunks. This addiction sucks just that bad.

If I was at the doctor's office, and he handed me the horrible news that I had one week to live...what would I do?

I'd cry.

I'd probably be in denial, and seek a second opinion.

I'd make sure to spend extra time with my kids.

I'd make sure to tell my wife what she means to me.

I'd make sure to tell my dad to be strong, and to help my wife (as he lost his wife and my mom and knows what my wife will go through). I'd tell him how much of a rock he has been in my life, and how I want to thank him for that.

I'd get my affairs in order so that my wife and family wouldn't have to struggle.

I would say goodbye to everybody that I love.

And I would go.

You see, I want those memories with me as I go. I don't want the shitty, disgusting feeling I have plunging my fingers into a can of moistened dirt. I don't want to be lying there, taking my last breath, and chewing on poison.

I control this.

Let me repeat that for you...I CONTROL THIS.

I can't control when or where or even how I die. I can't control all of the bullshit that surrounds me on a daily basis. The only thing that I can control is my actions.

As of this moment, that door is shut in my mind. I've bolted it. I've nailed the kitchen table up to it. But the nic bitch is waiting out there like a hoard of zombies. All she can do is stand out there, moan, and scratch at the door. She ain't getting in. I check it daily.

The only way she gets in is if I let her in.

One of my saddest memories is of my mother dying of emphysema... removing the oxygen in order to smoke.

I will not leave that memory of me for my loved ones.

My freedom is no longer for sale to the nicotine pimps. I quit...despite circumstances.

[30yraddict]

I posted the following question in all of the Pre-Hof groups yesterday:

So, guys....

(Somehow) North Korea somehow manages to get a missile to the United States and we find ourselves in a nuclear war.

You buying a can?

As I expected, most of us typed out a response stating (in condensed fashion) "Fuck that!".

That's good. That's why we quit and that's why we are quit: The door is shut and personal death will not lead us back to that poison.

However, let's explore the question.

I never said that we personally were in danger. In fact, most of us realize that that North Korea's missiles have a range to hit Alaska or Guam currently. What if I told you that in this scenario, I could guarantee your personal safety but I couldn't for some of your loved ones.

What if I changed it and said you will be safe, but you are going to lose 3 people close to you?

You see, it's not danger or the threat of death that guides us back to the can. It's feeling sorry for ourselves really. We're not inspired by the Tom Kern story because he managed to stay quit throughout his sickness. We're inspired because of the hell it put onto his family, and how we don't want our families to write similar words about us one day.

Most of us identify with Tom in the story. But most cave stories aren't from Tom's perspective. We're not fighting "live or die" situations like that. They are from Jenny's (massive stress), and the final conclusion is that nicotine will help.

Most cave stories of returning members do not involve impending death or ruin. They are about feeling sorry for ourselves, and saying "fuck it". The caves come when that person "was trying to deal with" some bullshit in their lives.

That's where the enemy is, boys.

It's when we feel sorry for our predicament, and we let some drug that twisted our brains become an option. It's when that thought that our predicament "will be better if I chewed".

That would be like Jenny Kern dealing with her husband's death by lighting up regularly. It's stupid, and it does nothing to help. It makes it worse. Jenny (per my knowledge) doesn't have that default because she is not an addict to this drug.

Yet, we are.

It will be there whether we like it or not.

It's how we handle ourselves not only in times of trouble, but in the times afterwards, that makes us "quitters". It's when we feel sorry for ourselves and we're looking for that extra something to either make us feel again or to reduce the pain we're in.

Non-addicts don't have this default. We do.

Shut the door, lock the door, and enroll a few good men here to help you hold it shut.

Proud to be quit with all of you today.

Listen up, this man, this guy this speaking the truth.

You could tell me the whole world was ending in less than 24 hours and I would spend my last moments in excruciating agony and misery watching my family be tortured n front of me and it would not change the fact that I am quit. Circumstances do not change my conviction!

I'm fucking quit, end of story.

Although if someone has balls big enough to torture my family, they will pay the most painful death imaginable. Guaranteed.

What if you knew you only had one week to live.....would you buy a few cans and chew like like a mofo that week?

Happily, I probably already know wastepanel's answer to that question and I feel like it's probably the same answer I would give. Not that his would mimic this, but as for me, I'd rather shave porcupines with a dull blade while spanking multiple skunks. This addiction sucks just that bad.

If I was at the doctor's office, and he handed me the horrible news that I had one week to live...what would I do?

I'd cry.

I'd probably be in denial, and seek a second opinion.

I'd make sure to spend extra time with my kids.

I'd make sure to tell my wife what she means to me.

I'd make sure to tell my dad to be strong, and to help my wife (as he lost his wife and my mom and knows what my wife will go through). I'd tell him how much of a rock he has been in my life, and how I want to thank him for that.

I'd get my affairs in order so that my wife and family wouldn't have to struggle.

I would say goodbye to everybody that I love.

And I would go.

You see, I want those memories with me as I go. I don't want the shitty, disgusting feeling I have plunging my fingers into a can of moistened dirt. I don't want to be lying there, taking my last breath, and chewing on poison.

I control this.

Let me repeat that for you...I CONTROL THIS.

I can't control when or where or even how I die. I can't control all of the bullshit that surrounds me on a daily basis. The only thing that I can control is my actions.

As of this moment, that door is shut in my mind. I've bolted it. I've nailed the kitchen table up to it. But the nic bitch is waiting out there like a hoard of zombies. All she can do is stand out there, moan, and scratch at the door. She ain't getting in. I check it daily.

The only way she gets in is if I let her in.

One of my saddest memories is of my mother dying of emphysema... removing the oxygen in order to smoke.

I will not leave that memory of me for my loved ones.

[wastepanel]

I posted the following question in all of the Pre-Hof groups yesterday:

So, guys....

(Somehow) North Korea somehow manages to get a missile to the United States and we find ourselves in a nuclear war.

You buying a can?

As I expected, most of us typed out a response stating (in condensed fashion) "Fuck that!".

That's good. That's why we quit and that's why we are quit: The door is shut and personal death will not lead us back to that poison.

However, let's explore the question.

I never said that we personally were in danger. In fact, most of us realize that that North Korea's missiles have a range to hit Alaska or Guam currently. What if I told you that in this scenario, I could guarantee your personal safety but I couldn't for some of your loved ones.

What if I changed it and said you will be safe, but you are going to lose 3 people close to you?

You see, it's not danger or the threat of death that guides us back to the can. It's feeling sorry for ourselves really. We're not inspired by the Tom Kern story because he managed to stay quit throughout his sickness. We're inspired because of the hell it put onto his family, and how we don't want our families to write similar words about us one day.

Most of us identify with Tom in the story. But most cave stories aren't from Tom's perspective. We're not fighting "live or die" situations like that. They are from Jenny's (massive stress), and the final conclusion is that nicotine will help.

Most cave stories of returning members do not involve impending death or ruin. They are about feeling sorry for ourselves, and saying "fuck it". The caves come when that person "was trying to deal with" some bullshit in their lives.

That's where the enemy is, boys.

It's when we feel sorry for our predicament, and we let some drug that twisted our brains become an option. It's when that thought that our predicament "will be better if I chewed".

That would be like Jenny Kern dealing with her husband's death by lighting up regularly. It's stupid, and it does nothing to help. It makes it worse. Jenny (per my knowledge) doesn't have that default because she is not an addict to this drug.

Yet, we are.

It will be there whether we like it or not.

It's how we handle ourselves not only in times of trouble, but in the times afterwards, that makes us "quitters". It's when we feel sorry for ourselves and we're looking for that extra something to either make us feel again or to reduce the pain we're in.

Non-addicts don't have this default. We do.

Shut the door, lock the door, and enroll a few good men here to help you hold it shut.

Proud to be quit with all of you today.

Listen up, this man, this guy this speaking the truth.

You could tell me the whole world was ending in less than 24 hours and I would spend my last moments in excruciating agony and misery watching my family be tortured n front of me and it would not change the fact that I am quit. Circumstances do not change my conviction!

I'm fucking quit, end of story.

Although if someone has balls big enough to torture my family, they will pay the most painful death imaginable. Guaranteed.

What if you knew you only had one week to live.....would you buy a few cans and chew like like a mofo that week?

Happily, I probably already know wastepanel's answer to that question and I feel like it's probably the same answer I would give. Not that his would mimic this, but as for me, I'd rather shave porcupines with a dull blade while spanking multiple skunks. This addiction sucks just that bad.

If I was at the doctor's office, and he handed me the horrible news that I had one week to live...what would I do?

I'd cry.

I'd probably be in denial, and seek a second opinion.

I'd make sure to spend extra time with my kids.

I'd make sure to tell my wife what she means to me.

I'd make sure to tell my dad to be strong, and to help my wife (as he lost his wife and my mom and knows what my wife will go through). I'd tell him how much of a rock he has been in my life, and how I want to thank him for that.

I'd get my affairs in order so that my wife and family wouldn't have to struggle.

I would say goodbye to everybody that I love.

And I would go.

You see, I want those memories with me as I go. I don't want the shitty, disgusting feeling I have plunging my fingers into a can of moistened dirt. I don't want to be lying there, taking my last breath, and chewing on poison.

I control this.

Let me repeat that for you...I CONTROL THIS.

I can't control when or where or even how I die. I can't control all of the bullshit that surrounds me on a daily basis. The only thing that I can control is my actions.

As of this moment, that door is shut in my mind. I've bolted it. I've nailed the kitchen table up to it. But the nic bitch is waiting out there like a hoard of zombies. All she can do is stand out there, moan, and scratch at the door. She ain't getting in. I check it daily.

The only way she gets in is if I let her in.