My son's grades currently suck.
He's a smart kid though. He completely has the ability to do anything that he wants but refuses to put in the time. It's frustrating because the biggest reason his grades suck are because he doesn't do his assignments. Trapjaw Jr has always felt he's a special bird and that the rules of the world apply to others...but not him. He's 14 years old and I'm getting to my wits' end with these antics.
After another kitchen table talk last night, I started thinking a little bit about Harry Potter, Rocky Balboa, and how pop culture has kind of taught our kids that they're specialty is just there rather than teaching them that hard work gets them what they want.
Most kids and adults know who Harry Potter is. Those books and the fantastic journey of the boy wizard have inspired countless offshoots and inspired the media today. If you look at the Young Adult popular series (Harry Potter, Maze Runner, etc), most of the stories focus on its protagonist to be revealed as the chosen one. It's not special to this generation. The Matrix did it and so did Buffy the Vampire slayer when I was younger. In fact, I bet it's a trope that is used every generation to inspire its not so productive members that it's never too late to excel at "something".
Unfortunately, it teaches a very bad lesson too.
Most of us will not be given a fantastic hero's journey. We are offered small choices each day. It's what we do with those small choices that defines us. As a quitter, I've learned and taught that (while grand quit moments happen) those grand moments don't define our quit. It's the every day battle and the every day choice to stay quit that makes us quitters. I'm 2,723 days into my quit and I've had some rough times. I chose to be quit during those and good for me. However, it was the little decisions that got me to that point. I wasn't handed a quit and told to protect it at 400 days. I earned those 400 fucking days quit and I was protecting it because it was not given to me. It meant all the world to me.
Often times, I've held the Rocky series up a great example to not give up but he too is just handed an opportunity while his work to get there is glossed over. Now, most of the time, Rocky champions hard work and we're shown the hard work he puts in through montages. It's easy to look at those montages and see his progress because of the editing. However, real progress isn't as dramatic. It's slow and it's not always linear. Sometimes you take steps back to make gains the next moment.
The most important of the Rocky movies is that they teach not to give up no matter what you are facing. Harry Potter teaches friends can prop you up at times and that sometimes groups are more powerful than individuals. But, at the end, you have to make the final stand on your own. They'll have your back but you have to point your weapon and pull the trigger.
I hope that Trapjaw Jr gets it. It took me a while to get it. When I talk to him about it, he gets angry. I know it's not because he blames me. He's angry at himself and I know because I've been there. The answer is so simple to his problem: Do what is expected.
We all can be quit but not all of us will take the time to earn our quits. If it's too easy, the quit isn't worth anything to you and you won't appreciate it. Nothing is too hard forever. You might have some big moments of staying quit and I'll fucking applaud as all hell for those times you get through them, but what I appreciate the most are those that make it through the grind to get to those moments. Those are true fucking heroes.
