Welcome. just a few things to get you started on the right foot...
So here I am trying to quit
There is no "try" We are quit here. So are you. You have made the decision, now keep your word.
wish me luck
No luck involved. There is determinitaion and balls.
That's as far as I'm willing to commit to this thing.
That concerns me. This is a fight for your life. A fight you can't afford to lose. Treat it as such and you will succeed. In a fight for your life, losing is not an option. Caving is not an aption. learn the tools here and use them.
Save your life, we will help.
Your thinking I'm being a bit dramatic. I am not. You need to reach down, grab ahold and kick this addiction's ass. There is no other way. Everything else leads to failure.
You can do this.
P.S. I just noticed your intro "I surrender" Fuck that. There is no surrender. Never surrender, never give up. Stay quit.