Congrats on your 18 days quit! Let me point out few issues with you post and you attitude:
1) I keep it in my tackle box. Don't ask why...it's like an antique to me.
Antique or not - open it and flush it. Addicts will dip about anything, plus it will make you feel better.
2) Will I change?
That is 100% up to you. Share you victories and struggles with your family, they will understand why you are pissy at time. Post here or in the chat room is you want to be pissed at someone, not your family. We are all addicts and can match or beat anything you have been through.
3) They are smarter than me. Finally, I have listened to them.
Good thing they are not the "Spitting Image of You" (QT).
4) I hope it's not too late.
It's only too late when you are 6 feet under - but the next dip could be the one that starts the big C, triggers a heart attack or a stroke.
What the fuck does hope have to do with it. Hope is for pussies and quittin sure aint for pussies. NO HOPE! Stay quit and you will know it's not too late.
5) You won't like this, but I miss it.
We all miss it like an old buddy - but this buddy was trying to kill you and screw your wife! Some friend he turned out to be, but we sure had some good times.
6) I've spent my entire adult life with dip, I know nothing else.
Welcome to the club! Like I said we are all addicts and most have dipped and can a day to 3 cans a day for most or all of our adult life. Face each trigger as a challenge, each one you beat will make you stronger. Mow the yard - FUCK YOU NIC BITCH! Go for a long drive - FUCK YOU NIC BITCH, ETC. I think you get it.
7) I am scared.
Scared is ok - giving in is not. Have a plan, get some numbers. Make a call before you buy a tin and sign the
Contract to Give Up. You gotta get permission from a quit brother before you can cave (oh, that will never happen).
8) I will be here to help you
Yes you will -
Pass It ForwardRemember it's 100% up to you!!!