Hello All, I'm actually late on my introduction. I've been quit for 17 days now. I spent the first 17 days on this site reading stories and experiences from many of the bad ass quitters on KTC and working through my Quit. I've posted roll each morning since my quit.
I'm 32 years old and had been chewing for 17 years. 17 days into my quit, I'm reflecting on my life before being quit. I find it maddening and ridiculous. It's a shame what I have put people in my life through as well as myself.
I can remember chewing in high school. I couldn't even make it 8 hours without a chew back then, I remember ninja dipping in art class and gutting it. My ninja dipping continued at home, hiding it from my parents, girlfriends, etc.
I got married at 22, and my then wife didn't even knew I was a dipper, until the day she found a can in the dryer. I never did it around her and as long as she didn't see it, she didn't care. But I found myself staying late at work when everyone left to get a dip in before going home.
I got divorced at 24 and continued to date women, always hiding the fact that I dipped. Hiding dipping helped to ruin more than my fair share of relationships. When I met my current girlfriend I was completely honest about everything, including admitting to dipping. She's been supportive of me quitting which has been incredibly helpful.
I quit because of scares with cancer. I have had throat and sinus issues for the last 2 years. Each time I put a dip in, I knew i could be contributing to cancer, but for whatever reason, the nic bitch had more of a handle on me than I did at the time. To think, just 17 days ago I was choosing the potential of cancer and death over my life. The fear of quitting seemed too intense.
Then on a Sunday night I woke up at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. So I did what I would always do when I woke up, put a big fatty in. I then went to the office and started looking online. My throat was hurting, I wanted to quit. I googled quit chewing and found KTC. At that point, 3am on a Monday morning, sitting at the computer in my underwear trying to kill myself slowly with a cancerous can, something clicked, I decided I was done with this shit.
Monday morning, i drove to work, bought my last can (I know, when you quit you quit, and I was being a pussy). But I did say it was my last can, and I was going to be done on Wednesday morning. I stuck to my plan and I did have my final Dip at 10:00pm on Tuesday night, just before bed.
After making it through the first 5 days of this quit, I am not going back.
