Here we go again

[Nolaq]

poof

:gmann:

[THansen2413]

poof

[Smeds]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

Add me to the list of brothers here that are thinking and praying for you. You will make it thru this. Always remember....Dip made NOTHING better!
I'm quitting my ass of for you today!

THansen you have always supported me bro, and you and your grandma are in my prayers. Way to use your KTC tools and staying quit, and I quit with you today.

I can't say anything other that. thanks for you and my June Bros.. and KTC.... for keeping me quit. I"m at rock bottom, but caving is never an option.

Rock bottom provides a solid place for you to start building on. Don't view it as a bottom, view it as you have found the bedrock upon which you can build. My thought and prayers are with you and yours my friend.

Hang tough bro. I understand how you feel.

Tyler, I know we've talked ... and I know we've texted. I wanted to add my support here as well. Thinking of you, proud of you, and quit with you.

[Grizzlyhasclaws]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

Add me to the list of brothers here that are thinking and praying for you. You will make it thru this. Always remember....Dip made NOTHING better!
I'm quitting my ass of for you today!

THansen you have always supported me bro, and you and your grandma are in my prayers. Way to use your KTC tools and staying quit, and I quit with you today.

I can't say anything other that. thanks for you and my June Bros.. and KTC.... for keeping me quit. I"m at rock bottom, but caving is never an option.

Rock bottom provides a solid place for you to start building on. Don't view it as a bottom, view it as you have found the bedrock upon which you can build. My thought and prayers are with you and yours my friend.

Hang tough bro. I understand how you feel.

[Candoit]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

Add me to the list of brothers here that are thinking and praying for you. You will make it thru this. Always remember....Dip made NOTHING better!
I'm quitting my ass of for you today!

THansen you have always supported me bro, and you and your grandma are in my prayers. Way to use your KTC tools and staying quit, and I quit with you today.

I can't say anything other that. thanks for you and my June Bros.. and KTC.... for keeping me quit. I"m at rock bottom, but caving is never an option.

Rock bottom provides a solid place for you to start building on. Don't view it as a bottom, view it as you have found the bedrock upon which you can build. My thought and prayers are with you and yours my friend.

[mat849]

Thoughts and prayers are definitely with you. I'll keep it short and leave the advice giving to those who are.in a better position to give it.
Just know that you make my quit stronger on a daily basis. Keep doing what you're doing. Quit with you EDD!

[THansen2413]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

Add me to the list of brothers here that are thinking and praying for you. You will make it thru this. Always remember....Dip made NOTHING better!
I'm quitting my ass of for you today!

THansen you have always supported me bro, and you and your grandma are in my prayers. Way to use your KTC tools and staying quit, and I quit with you today.

I can't say anything other that. thanks for you and my June Bros.. and KTC.... for keeping me quit. I"m at rock bottom, but caving is never an option.

[Thumblewort]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

Add me to the list of brothers here that are thinking and praying for you. You will make it thru this. Always remember....Dip made NOTHING better!
I'm quitting my ass of for you today!

THansen you have always supported me bro, and you and your grandma are in my prayers. Way to use your KTC tools and staying quit, and I quit with you today.

[rdad]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

Add me to the list of brothers here that are thinking and praying for you. You will make it thru this. Always remember....Dip made NOTHING better!
I'm quitting my ass of for you today!

[Nolaq]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

THansen, you and I have not connected yet, but I am praying for you and your family. I went through much the same, but it was my mother that passed on Day 225 or so. It was my wife, and this place that got me through all of it. Lean on us.

If I can offer any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

[FMBM707]

Thoughts and prayers with you THansen. Life is going to continue to throw us obstacles we get to choose how to react to them. Quit with you

[Steakbomb18]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

Sixer's comment is somewhat iconic...it illustrates the manner in which you have fostered an unbreakable foundation of quit.

Sixer writes, "Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends." If this isn't brotherhood, then I don't know what is. THansen, this is why you are here today posting another +1. Brotherhood, 50% of the success equation. Thank you for sharing and showing us why that there is never an ok reason to cave; many a caver has caved with far less stress on their shoulders than dealing with the deck of cards you've been dealt. I'm proud of you; we should all be proud of you.

[Doc Chewfree]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.

Thanks for sharing TH. Quit hard EDD for your Grandma and all the other loved ones in your life...especially you.
Think about it...what would be a better way to honor your Grandma than living your life to the fullest without nicotine?

[Florida Longhorn]

Praying for you and your family. Grandma is definitely proud of the quitter you are.

[sixercountry]

I guess I've been secluding myself these past few days. I haven't been posting support in all the groups I use to. I haven't been in chat, like I use to. It's even been a struggle to post roll in the morning. Nobody outside of "The Epic 8" and my closest quit buddies know what's going on with me. I'm not sure why I haven't updated my intro until now...but I haven't. Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it...maybe I was in denial. Whatever the case.. I owe my supporters an explanation. I also need to update my intro...no matter how painful this chapter in my quit book may be... it needs to be dealt with.

My Grandma's health has been on the decline for the past month. This is the Grandma who would watch me in the summertime, every summer. This is the Grandma who'd come to all my activities in school. Not because my other grandparents wouldn't. Just because she lived 3 blocks away from me. My other grandparents lived 3 hrs. This last Saturday...she suffered a devastating stroke. She now, eats 1 one meal a day..and that's on a good day. She no longer is able to talk, walk, move, etc. She is dependent on everyone else. On a good day, she may be awake for 2 hrs...and that's top. Just enough time for my Mom to spoon in blended food, and a supplement drink.

This finally became a reality to me this week. I visited her Monday, and tried profusely to wake her up. No luck. After we had got home, my Mom was very upset. My Dad, I love him, but he's a no show emotions guy. He'd rather sit and read his paper and watch the news than have to talk. I get my compassion, and tender heart from my Mom. I thank her for that, every chance I get. I'd rather be a teary eyed, teddy bear, than a closed off, silent man who watches from the sidelines.

Back to point in hand... my Mom sat on the couch with her head held low. I sat next to her, and gave her a hug, embraced her, and she broke down. Subsequently, I did too...and did for most of the night. At 212 days quit... I felt like I was back at B.C Day 1. I honestly had a moment where I said "f it"... "I really don't care". I'm not proud to say that...but I did. I pondered calling each of my quit bros and asking for permission to cave. But, I knew what they'd say. I knew how I'd feel the day after. All that hard work, dedication, preaching...down the drain. So I didn't. Instead I text them. I spoke with them for most of the night. MonsterEMT and Sixer were my guardian angels that night. They listened... they gave advice... and I listened.

Today, my Grandma was put on hospice. Her time on Earth is dwindling by the minute. bronc, gave me some good advice today...and I'm still coming to grips with telling my grandma, "goodbye...it's ok to go now". Even typing that.. I have tears in my eyes. I'm not ready to say that..but I know it has to be done soon. Point is... it's ok to talk about personal things with other men. It's ok to shed...ok, cry like a man. It's what kept me quit. My Grandma would be proud to know that I'm 214 days quit today. She'd be giving me a lecture and disappointed if I caved because of something so natural as death. I've never dealt with death before. At 24, I'm blessed to not have had a family member die yet. Maybe this can help some noob, or someone in my shoes.

When I use to put "NAFAR" in some of my postings....I didn't stop and think what I was saying. Today, I realize just how "powerful" that is. Never Again For Any Reason... that includes you in your darkest hour, and your lowest point.

One foot in front of the other...and before long... I will have overcome this latest mountain.

Thanks for the support and guidance, my brothers and sisters.

THansen

I won't say to much because you have probably heard it......
I have seen and heard you grow since your quit began. Not only are you one of the most important people involved in my quit but you have become one of my close friends. Your grandma should be round of the man and quitter you have become. Quit hard.