Intro & info on cburns

[Gee]

Building a wall, part 3
or ... Am I really just a dip away from a can a day?

(If you haven't read them, be sure to catch parts one and two, below.)

So here we are, slowly and surely building our wall around nicotine use. Every day, we come in here and post and make that wall a little stronger, a little more substantial.

I have made no secret of the fact that I quit (using another site that most of you know about) for three years. Three years builds a damned serious wall. But it is a wall that can be breached.

So was it really one dip that did me in? Can a three-year quit be killed by a just a single pinch between cheek and gum? In one way, no ... but in another (more important) way, yes.

It was a business trip. A quiet evening, alone in the hotel room, nothing to do but go for a drive around Plano in the rental car. And yes, I guess I wanted to try that thrill of doing something "forbidden". On the way back to the hotel, I stopped and bought some beer (to help me sleep, of course :rolleyes: ), and I told the clerk to throw in a can of snoose. That dip was just like my first one ever. It was gross, it was disgusting, it was nasty, it made me want to puke, it gave me a little buzz ... but it was not something I would want to do again. Ever. No problem, right?

Wrong!

You see, now I had a can of that expensive stuff. Couldn't waste it, now could I? And the little hole in that three-year wall was open. Taking the second dip was much easier than the first. The third was easier yet ... and honestly, the wall was down in nothing flat. I returned from Texas a full-fledged dipper, using stronger stuff and more of it.

So now I know ... I am literally a dip away from a can a day. I can never, never, never have nicotine again... not even a little bit. And thanks to this site, I know I can do it. I hope you know those things, too.

Loved this post cburns. Had a similar experience and wasted away a two year quit. Won't happen again. Thanks for reminding me.

[cburns]

nice to see a fellow k-stater in here

The K-State logo is in honor of my son, who started classes there this morning.

Well, that and the fact that since both my parents worked there, K-State put food on the table and a roof over my head for many years of my life. I may not quite bleed purple, but I sure ain't no chickenhawk!

--cB

[sekfireman603]

nice to see a fellow k-stater in here

[cburns]

Building a wall, followup

I had a message from a quitter who's way into the 200 day range ... he enjoyed the building a wall messages, but was also scared by them. Basically, his question was, "will I have to be as vigilant as I am now for the rest of my life?"

Here's my reply:

...  it also scares the shit outta me......

That's precisely why I was somewhat hesitant to post it. I don't want to scare newbies ... or you ... or anyone else.

But what you have to remember is that after three years, I had to "make myself" take that dip. Way before that time, I had got to the point that it was like I had never dipped. It was not some craving that hit me from out of the blue ... it was a conscious decision to try it. Just like it was when we took our first dips.

And just like after our first dips, we could have walked away forever and never done it again. I was definitely like that on that evening. I was just too damned stupid to do so ... both that evening, and the first time I ever tried tobacco.

So please don't get too scared. You do NOT have to be as vigilant as you are now for the rest of your life. It truly does get easier. There will come a time when you will go days, then weeks without even thinking about Cope. You just need to know what I learned the hard way. You really are "just a dip away from a can a day."

[Wolfnomore]

Building a wall, part 3
or ... Am I really just a dip away from a can a day?

(If you haven't read them, be sure to catch parts one and two, below.)

So here we are, slowly and surely building our wall around nicotine use. Every day, we come in here and post and make that wall a little stronger, a little more substantial.

I have made no secret of the fact that I quit (using another site that most of you know about) for three years. Three years builds a damned serious wall. But it is a wall that can be breached.

So was it really one dip that did me in? Can a three-year quit be killed by a just a single pinch between cheek and gum? In one way, no ... but in another (more important) way, yes.

It was a business trip. A quiet evening, alone in the hotel room, nothing to do but go for a drive around Plano in the rental car. And yes, I guess I wanted to try that thrill of doing something "forbidden". On the way back to the hotel, I stopped and bought some beer (to help me sleep, of course :rolleyes: ), and I told the clerk to throw in a can of snoose. That dip was just like my first one ever. It was gross, it was disgusting, it was nasty, it made me want to puke, it gave me a little buzz ... but it was not something I would want to do again. Ever. No problem, right?

Wrong!

You see, now I had a can of that expensive stuff. Couldn't waste it, now could I? And the little hole in that three-year wall was open. Taking the second dip was much easier than the first. The third was easier yet ... and honestly, the wall was down in nothing flat. I returned from Texas a full-fledged dipper, using stronger stuff and more of it.

So now I know ... I am literally a dip away from a can a day. I can never, never, never have nicotine again... not even a little bit. And thanks to this site, I know I can do it. I hope you know those things, too.

Great post Cburns!

[Ready]

"Just one." The lie that we convince ourselves to believe.

NO!. Not this day. This day belongs to me.

Bring it you fucking bitch.

this day belongs to me and my bros.

Strength through superior firepower, eat that bitch!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iikKzQwgBJc

[cburns]

Building a wall, part 3
or ... Am I really just a dip away from a can a day?

(If you haven't read them, be sure to catch parts one and two, below.)

So here we are, slowly and surely building our wall around nicotine use. Every day, we come in here and post and make that wall a little stronger, a little more substantial.

I have made no secret of the fact that I quit (using another site that most of you know about) for three years. Three years builds a damned serious wall. But it is a wall that can be breached.

So was it really one dip that did me in? Can a three-year quit be killed by a just a single pinch between cheek and gum? In one way, no ... but in another (more important) way, yes.

It was a business trip. A quiet evening, alone in the hotel room, nothing to do but go for a drive around Plano in the rental car. And yes, I guess I wanted to try that thrill of doing something "forbidden". On the way back to the hotel, I stopped and bought some beer (to help me sleep, of course :rolleyes: ), and I told the clerk to throw in a can of snoose. That dip was just like my first one ever. It was gross, it was disgusting, it was nasty, it made me want to puke, it gave me a little buzz ... but it was not something I would want to do again. Ever. No problem, right?

Wrong!

You see, now I had a can of that expensive stuff. Couldn't waste it, now could I? And the little hole in that three-year wall was open. Taking the second dip was much easier than the first. The third was easier yet ... and honestly, the wall was down in nothing flat. I returned from Texas a full-fledged dipper, using stronger stuff and more of it.

So now I know ... I am literally a dip away from a can a day. I can never, never, never have nicotine again... not even a little bit. And thanks to this site, I know I can do it. I hope you know those things, too.

[cburns]

Building a wall, part 2

I remember a time, back when I worked evenings, that a group of us decided to order in pizza on a Friday evening. One of our co-workers was complaining about the cost of shrimp pizza, so I suggested she buy something else. Hamburger, maybe? She replied that she couldn't, since it was Friday and she couldn't eat meat on Friday. Not being terribly familiar with Roman Catholic doctrine, I said that I thought the church had eliminated that rule. She replied that they had, but she still just couldn't bring herself to eat meat on Friday.

The wall between her and Friday meat-eating was huge. Even when she had permission, she couldn't get around that wall ... the wall she had built in her mind. By the way, please don't think I'm disparaging anyone here. I actually admire her committment to what she believed was right.

Now, if you're like most people, you were brought up to believe that certain things are wrong. I know we live in an age of relativism, but most of us still have some things we consider absolutely wrong, or at very least wrong for us. You have mental walls between you and whatever those things are. But those walls are only in your mind. Some of them may be stronger than others ... the wall around murder is hopefully a little more substantial than the one around changing lanes without signalling.

Perhaps you had walls around nicotine use when you were younger. But, at some point, you broke a little hole in that wall and took your first dip. There probably was a certain thrill associated doing something "wrong". And wasn't it a little easier the second time? The hole in the wall from the first time made getting through the wall a second time easier. Each time you went through that wall, the hole got a little bigger, to the point where there was nothing left of the wall.

Part three of this message will pull it all together, I hope ...

[Ready]

I posted this in the October group, but I want to continue with my thoughts on this theme, so I'm putting it here. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode!

Actually, the urges to dip (I hesitate to call them craves) have been a little rougher today than usual. Rather than craves where I want to strangle someone to steal their tin, these are more like "Gee, a wad of Cope sounds good."

If it's a warm summer evening, and you're done with the day's work, and supper is mellowing in your innards ... and suddenly you get a notion that a bowl of ice cream would be good ... but there isn't any, and the teenager has borrowed the pickup, and it's a mile to the store and a mile back (uphill), you probably are going to go without ice cream. A wall has been built between you and ice cream. The wall is surmountable, but it isn't worth it.

Around here, we're building a wall between us and nicotine. Every day, we add another row of blocks to that wall. Every day it gets higher and higher.

We built that wall. We can tear it down. We can bulldoze through it, or we can walk around it. Likewise, we can choose to keep building it, keep making it stronger, keep improving it.

helluva post.....very well done.

cburns, You rock.

[mule]

I posted this in the October group, but I want to continue with my thoughts on this theme, so I'm putting it here. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode!

Actually, the urges to dip (I hesitate to call them craves) have been a little rougher today than usual. Rather than craves where I want to strangle someone to steal their tin, these are more like "Gee, a wad of Cope sounds good."

If it's a warm summer evening, and you're done with the day's work, and supper is mellowing in your innards ... and suddenly you get a notion that a bowl of ice cream would be good ... but there isn't any, and the teenager has borrowed the pickup, and it's a mile to the store and a mile back (uphill), you probably are going to go without ice cream. A wall has been built between you and ice cream. The wall is surmountable, but it isn't worth it.

Around here, we're building a wall between us and nicotine. Every day, we add another row of blocks to that wall. Every day it gets higher and higher.

We built that wall. We can tear it down. We can bulldoze through it, or we can walk around it. Likewise, we can choose to keep building it, keep making it stronger, keep improving it.

helluva post.....very well done.

[cburns]

I posted this in the October group, but I want to continue with my thoughts on this theme, so I'm putting it here. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode!

Building a wall, Part 1

Actually, the urges to dip (I hesitate to call them craves) have been a little rougher today than usual. Rather than craves where I want to strangle someone to steal their tin, these are more like "Gee, a wad of Cope sounds good."

If it's a warm summer evening, and you're done with the day's work, and supper is mellowing in your innards ... and suddenly you get a notion that a bowl of ice cream would be good ... but there isn't any, and the teenager has borrowed the pickup, and it's a mile to the store and a mile back (uphill), you probably are going to go without ice cream. A wall has been built between you and ice cream. The wall is surmountable, but it isn't worth it.

Around here, we're building a wall between us and nicotine. Every day, we add another row of blocks to that wall. Every day it gets higher and higher.

We built that wall. We can tear it down. We can bulldoze through it, or we can walk around it. Likewise, we can choose to keep building it, keep making it stronger, keep improving it.

[cburns]

Sleep was and continues to be erratic....and after being on it for over 6 months i feel like i have developed a tolerance to it's effects.

I had some trouble sleeping the first few weeks. I would wake up several times during the night. Funny thing was, I woke up just as refreshed as I would have with a full night's sleep. Then my wife mentioned that I wasn't snoring so much or so loudly. I was also remembering dreams, something I almost never did before.

I think what it comes down to is that I am not sleeping as deep or hard ... but I'm probably sleeping in a better way. By not crashing into a really deep sleep all night, I think my body is getting the right kind of rest.

Also, the pharmacist warned me about the sleep issue. I am taking two pills a day, and they need to be at least 8 hours apart. So what he suggested is to take one when I first get up, then the second one 8 hours later. That still leaves at least 8 hours before bedtime. So I'm taking one at 4:30 when I get up, and the other one after lunch (around 12:30 or 1:00). Seems to be working for me.

Good to hear your comments!

[mule]

Bupropion, redux

As I approach 40 days, I remember my previous quits, and some of the intense cravings I had during it. Most of you know what I mean ... those cravings that sometimes come out of nowhere and make you want to strangle somebody if that's what it takes to get your hands on a dip of snoose.

The thing is, they just aren't happening this time around. Now, I'm not saying I don't have cravings ... I do. But they are mild, and generally pass fairly quickly. Honestly, it's amazing.

To those of you who are REALLY, SERIOUSLY struggling with your quit ... maybe you've caved already because of the intensity of the cravings: Perhaps it's time to talk to your doctor about some help.

Now, a few disclaimers:
1. I may sound like an advertisement for Bupropion, but I don't make it or sell it.
2. You are unique, just like everyone else! Your experience may vary. I report on my experience only.
3. I recently read where life insurance companies are getting sticky about issuing policies to people who have taken antidepressants. Bupropion is an antidepressant. Of course, life insurance companies don't care much for smokers and/or dippers, either. I'm past the age where I need more life insurance than what I already have, so I'm not worried.
4. I'm taking Bupropion to handle some moderate depression. The fact that I'm quitting nicotine at the same time is serendipity. Your mileage will, of course, vary.
5. Bupropion is not inexpensive, so check with your insurance program and/or pharmacy to know what sort of expense you're looking at. For me, a 30-day supply retails for a little less than $60 (if I remember correctly). Actually, that's cheap compared to snoose. :D

I honestly wish you all the very best!

cburns,

What can I say? 40 days is huge. You have this by the balls. Of that, I am sure. Not too many people make it past the first day,let alone the first week. You are well past your first month. I do not have the words to express my pride in what you have accomplished.

I am proud of you! And nothing can take that away. You hard core mother fucking quitter. Boooooooooya. Semper Fi.

i have been on welbutrin since the beginning of my quit and like you i have found it beneficial....I do feel it helped keep me on more of an even keel and could really tell a difference the first few weeks....

I did notice a few side effects.....for me.

Sleep was and continues to be erratic....and after being on it for over 6 months i feel like i have developed a tolerance to it's effects. I have recently had headaches that i attribute to it as well....due to the timing after taking.

I am in the process of weening myself off it and am hopeful that i wont have to start on something else to replace it to deal with anger issues. I have just recently started an exercise program to try to get the weight off and am trying to work off the mood swings.

I agree whole heartedly....see a doctor for advice but if there are prescriptions that can additionally support your quit....whatever it takes....just stay off nic.

[Ready]

Bupropion, redux

As I approach 40 days, I remember my previous quits, and some of the intense cravings I had during it. Most of you know what I mean ... those cravings that sometimes come out of nowhere and make you want to strangle somebody if that's what it takes to get your hands on a dip of snoose.

The thing is, they just aren't happening this time around. Now, I'm not saying I don't have cravings ... I do. But they are mild, and generally pass fairly quickly. Honestly, it's amazing.

To those of you who are REALLY, SERIOUSLY struggling with your quit ... maybe you've caved already because of the intensity of the cravings: Perhaps it's time to talk to your doctor about some help.

Now, a few disclaimers:
1. I may sound like an advertisement for Bupropion, but I don't make it or sell it.
2. You are unique, just like everyone else! Your experience may vary. I report on my experience only.
3. I recently read where life insurance companies are getting sticky about issuing policies to people who have taken antidepressants. Bupropion is an antidepressant. Of course, life insurance companies don't care much for smokers and/or dippers, either. I'm past the age where I need more life insurance than what I already have, so I'm not worried.
4. I'm taking Bupropion to handle some moderate depression. The fact that I'm quitting nicotine at the same time is serendipity. Your mileage will, of course, vary.
5. Bupropion is not inexpensive, so check with your insurance program and/or pharmacy to know what sort of expense you're looking at. For me, a 30-day supply retails for a little less than $60 (if I remember correctly). Actually, that's cheap compared to snoose. :D

I honestly wish you all the very best!

cburns,

What can I say? 40 days is huge. You have this by the balls. Of that, I am sure. Not too many people make it past the first day,let alone the first week. You are well past your first month. I do not have the words to express my pride in what you have accomplished.

I am proud of you! And nothing can take that away. You hard core mother fucking quitter. Boooooooooya. Semper Fi.

[cburns]

Bupropion, redux

As I approach 40 days, I remember my previous quits, and some of the intense cravings I had during it. Most of you know what I mean ... those cravings that sometimes come out of nowhere and make you want to strangle somebody if that's what it takes to get your hands on a dip of snoose.

The thing is, they just aren't happening this time around. Now, I'm not saying I don't have cravings ... I do. But they are mild, and generally pass fairly quickly. Honestly, it's amazing.

To those of you who are REALLY, SERIOUSLY struggling with your quit ... maybe you've caved already because of the intensity of the cravings: Perhaps it's time to talk to your doctor about some help.

Now, a few disclaimers:
1. I may sound like an advertisement for Bupropion, but I don't make it or sell it.
2. You are unique, just like everyone else! Your experience may vary. I report on my experience only.
3. I recently read where life insurance companies are getting sticky about issuing policies to people who have taken antidepressants. Bupropion is an antidepressant. Of course, life insurance companies don't care much for smokers and/or dippers, either. I'm past the age where I need more life insurance than what I already have, so I'm not worried.
4. I'm taking Bupropion to handle some moderate depression. The fact that I'm quitting nicotine at the same time is serendipity. Your mileage will, of course, vary.
5. Bupropion is not inexpensive, so check with your insurance program and/or pharmacy to know what sort of expense you're looking at. For me, a 30-day supply retails for a little less than $60 (if I remember correctly). Actually, that's cheap compared to snoose. :D

I honestly wish you all the very best!