The continued importance of brotherhood and accountability
Today marks a year for me. I can't believe it. On one hand, I'm so excited about it and on the other hand, quitting is just part of my everyday life now, so it's another +1 as my friend Grady likes to say. The numbers get less and less important it seems and the +1 or quit again today becomes more so. It's funny how time changes things, but one thing that doesn't change is the very foundation that got us all quit; brotherhood and accountability.
In this last year, we've all been through it all it seems. Health scares, family deaths, divorce, relationship issues, breakups, job changes, house purchases/sales - in short, life. Not really different things than before we got together, but what changed is we, and a huge emphasis on the we, got through life together. We've become brothers and sisters in our quest to be free from this awful addiction and because we opened ourselves up to brotherhood, we remain free.
The accountability goes hand in hand with brotherhood. Posting roll at 365 days is just as important as posting roll at day 1. I still quit one day at a time. I don't think about tomorrow's quit, just today. I know that when I post roll, I give my word, and as a wise man told me early in my quit, "I don't think I can quit chewing, but I know I can keep my word." I love this and apply it in all kinds of areas in my life where the concept of forever is too big.
Nicotine in any form, is not even an option for me today. It's not an option because I've reached 365 days, but because I posted my promise and have my brotherhood and accountability in my pocket. Every day I post roll and will continue to do so to keep nicotine in the "not an option" category. It's deliberate, it's purposeful, it's that important. I'm not bumbling around in my quit just because it's been awhile. I'm not lax about it because I'm not craving constantly or even now and again. In truth, I rarely think about it.
I rarely think about it anymore. This is a very important concept and one that I want to expand on for a second. Over this year, and even as recently as last week, I have heard this statement; "the only time I think about chew is when I'm on this site so I'm leaving." There is also another saying that I like. "Dance with the one that brung ya." That's an old timers saying and it's very meaningful. One of the great lies of the bitch is "you don't need them anymore, you've got this." It's no different than anything that isn't good for us. When we are alone, we are vulnerable. When we are together, we're not. That's it. I rarely think about it any more, because I post my promise each day and I know I have a kill circle around me to squash any resemblance of threat that comes to take away my quit. If I don't post, If I don't make that promise, If I leave that accountability - I now have the option. I have the option that "no one will know." I have the option of believing the lies that kept me a slave for 28 years. I don't want the damn option. At this point in my quit, this site is called "Kill the Option." I don't have a can around. I don't crave. I want to keep it that way, so I post and have my brothers and sisters to kill the option every damn day. Because of that, I know I'll continue to be free today.
So for all of you, those vets that came before me, the newbies that started this month, and all of you in-between - Thank You. You have been incredible; true friends. You've spoken truth, you've wrangled me when work made me wander, you've checked in on me. I'm proud to know you. I've drank beers with some of you, chatted on the phone, had meals, been to your house and others, I only know electronically.
And to my June brothers and smokin' hot sister, a very special shout out. Your friendship to me makes me tear up. I literally owe you my life and I'm exceedingly grateful to you for how much life you put into me ever single day.
Bronc wipes tear - holds up a PBR tall boy in salute and walks away to quit again.
