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Author Topic: I need to quit, but don't want to  (Read 3603 times)

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Offline dchogs

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #100 on: July 21, 2011, 11:23:00 PM »
Oz,

Wanted to bump this in light of your post on your other thread. This was one of the first things I read on the site, and it was fucking eye opening. This intro and the reactions let me know how serious I had to be from the get go.

Thanks for helping me on day 1, day 67, and every day in between.
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Quit- 5/16/2011. One day at a time.
HoF- 8/23/2011; 2nd Floor- 12/1/2011; 3rd Floor- 3/10/2012; 4th Floor- 6/18/2012; 5th Floor- 9/27/2012; 6th Floor- 1/4/2013; 7th Floor- 4/14/2013; 8th Floor- 7/23/2013; 9th Floor- 10/31/2013; 10th Floor- 2/8/2014; 11th Floor- 5/19/2014; 12th Floor- 8/27/2014; 13th Floor- 12/5/14; 14th floor- 3/15/15; 15th floor- 6/23/15; 16th floor- 10/1/15; 17th floor- 1/9/16; 18th floor- 4/18/16; 19th floor- 7/26/16; 20th floor- 11/4/16; 21st floor- 2/12/17; 22nd Floor- 5/23/17; 23rd Floor- 8/31/17; 24th Floor- 12/9/17; 25th floor- 3/19/18; 26th floor- 6/27/18; 27th floor- 10/5/18; 28th floor- 1/13/19; 29th foor- 4/22/19; 30th floor- 7/31/19; 31st floor- 11/8/19; 32nd floor- 2/17/20; 33rd floor- 5/27/20; 34th floor- 9/4/20; 35th floor- 12/13/20; 36th floor- 3/23/21; 37th floor- 7/1/21; 38th floor- 10/9/21; 39th floor- 1/17/22; 40th floor- 4/27/22; 41st floor- 8/5/22; 42nd floor- 11/12/22; 43rd floor- 2/20/23; 44th floor- 6/1/23; 45th floor- 9/9/23; 46th floor- 12/18/23.

"He which hath no stomach to this fight let him depart. But we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers! For he today, that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my brother." (Wm. Shakespeare). For August '11.

Who dares, wins.

Stay quit... it is life or death and that is the undeniable truth.

"To be driven by our appetites alone is slavery, while to obey a law that we have imposed on ourselves is freedom." Rosseau

Offline 30yraddict

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #99 on: July 21, 2011, 09:18:00 PM »
Quote from: _oz
Small update --- there are no roses to be smelling on, but I have not been the asshole to my wife the past few days. The fog lifted a little bit. I could not believe how much of a FUCK that Nic Bitch threw at me for a few weeks. My life sucked. I wanted to cave. I wanted to dip, smoke, drink and kick the living daylights out of anyone that wanted to cross me. It was pretty ugly. In fact, the past 2 nights I have actually had my first dreams of smoking cigs!

Today is day 70 for me and I won't let it come to an end. I enjoy posting role - giving my word to my brothers (and sisters) that I am quit for today. Kind of unbelievable if you looked at where I was before day 1. I was talking to my brother-in-law last night, about being quit. He was amazed that I was still quit, in fact he was amazed I actually did quit. He reminded me what I use to tell him "Why quit when you enjoy it? I will never quit, there's no reason to." I told him I enjoy being quit, and that I give my word every morning that I will not be a user of nicotine for the day. I also mentioned I could not let you guys down - that it would kill me inside!

Anyhow, there have been a few of you who have sent pm's to keep me straight and I have appreciated it very much, but 1 person has been a huge inspiration -- and for that -- Parputt --- THANKS!

I am glad to be QUIT with all of you!
Nice quit you've got there oz, Proud to be quit with you!
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Offline _oz

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #98 on: July 21, 2011, 05:40:00 PM »
Small update --- there are no roses to be smelling on, but I have not been the asshole to my wife the past few days. The fog lifted a little bit. I could not believe how much of a FUCK that Nic Bitch threw at me for a few weeks. My life sucked. I wanted to cave. I wanted to dip, smoke, drink and kick the living daylights out of anyone that wanted to cross me. It was pretty ugly. In fact, the past 2 nights I have actually had my first dreams of smoking cigs!

Today is day 70 for me and I won't let it come to an end. I enjoy posting role - giving my word to my brothers (and sisters) that I am quit for today. Kind of unbelievable if you looked at where I was before day 1. I was talking to my brother-in-law last night, about being quit. He was amazed that I was still quit, in fact he was amazed I actually did quit. He reminded me what I use to tell him "Why quit when you enjoy it? I will never quit, there's no reason to." I told him I enjoy being quit, and that I give my word every morning that I will not be a user of nicotine for the day. I also mentioned I could not let you guys down - that it would kill me inside!

Anyhow, there have been a few of you who have sent pm's to keep me straight and I have appreciated it very much, but 1 person has been a huge inspiration -- and for that -- Parputt --- THANKS!

I am glad to be QUIT with all of you!
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QD - 5/13/11
1 day at a time!

Offline CopeFiend

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #97 on: July 09, 2011, 12:30:00 PM »
Quote from: _oz
...

I did apologize to my wife last night - we had a long chat in the car.
I had no idea I was an asshole to her for a couple weeks now.
But there is more to it that just the Nic Bitch - work stress.
That with the Nic Bitch is a fucking monkey on my back - and I hate it.

...
I was an ass to my wife and coworkers. My wife wanted me quit, so she put up with it. I found that telling everyone at work my quit story helped.

If you're not normally an asshole, it does start to wear off. :P
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Offline nicofiend

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #96 on: July 08, 2011, 08:34:00 PM »
Quote from: _oz
Fuck you Nic Bitch --- I am quit and will not cave!

I am so glad it's Friday - and glad to be quit with all of you.

Going through the motions every day after the first week I was thinking to myself: Hmmm, this is no big deal. there are no cravings. there is no issue what so ever of being quit. 100 days will come and go and I will continue on with my quit -- EASY.

WOW. I amaze myself and how stupid I can be at times.

I did apologize to my wife last night - we had a long chat in the car.
I had no idea I was an asshole to her for a couple weeks now.
But there is more to it that just the Nic Bitch - work stress.
That with the Nic Bitch is a fucking monkey on my back - and I hate it.


You guys are awesome -- thanks for the help and support!

Par - thanks for the continual emails.

1 day at a time!

I am quit.
Yeah oz I agree . Overcoming adversities, is the hard part, but every time you turn around some bullshit will come up and then you got to really cowboy up and kick the nic bitch extra hard! Stay strong brother , you can do this , I can do this we ve just got got to pull together. nico
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Offline _oz

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #95 on: July 08, 2011, 06:10:00 PM »
Fuck you Nic Bitch --- I am quit and will not cave!

I am so glad it's Friday - and glad to be quit with all of you.

Going through the motions every day after the first week I was thinking to myself: Hmmm, this is no big deal. there are no cravings. there is no issue what so ever of being quit. 100 days will come and go and I will continue on with my quit -- EASY.

WOW. I amaze myself and how stupid I can be at times.

I did apologize to my wife last night - we had a long chat in the car.
I had no idea I was an asshole to her for a couple weeks now.
But there is more to it that just the Nic Bitch - work stress.
That with the Nic Bitch is a fucking monkey on my back - and I hate it.


You guys are awesome -- thanks for the help and support!

Par - thanks for the continual emails.

1 day at a time!

I am quit.
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QD - 5/13/11
1 day at a time!

Offline Jtricher

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #94 on: July 08, 2011, 03:55:00 PM »
Quote from: _oz
I am quit - I am quit - I will not cave!
Oz. That is right. You will not cave. Because caving is not an option. Look, we have all been where you are right now. You have already done the right thing in response. You posted about it. Going forward, know this. You will prevail. Because no one in their right mind caves after 56 separate victories over NIC. Yes, each day you have stayed quit, you beat Nic and won the day. You were victorious over Nic. What you are going through right now is Nic fighting to the bitter end. Embrace it, don't fret about it, because the way you feel right now is normal. It is your body beating Nic. Waging a brutal battle against the demon that even after 56 days still wont take no for an answer and wants to kill you. You' know you are not gonna cave, because then Nic wins, and you want to live as a free man, not a slave to Nic.
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Offline Parputt

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #93 on: July 08, 2011, 03:24:00 PM »
You got this Gregg. One hour at a time for a few days will get you over this hump. Stop and take some deep breaths brother. This too shall pass!
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Offline Radman

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #92 on: July 08, 2011, 03:11:00 PM »
I just went back and read this thread. You CAN NOT BUY support like this! All of you have strengthened my quit today, and I was here to GIVE support. Gentlemen, this was just beautiful. Carry on!
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Offline Radman

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #91 on: July 08, 2011, 03:01:00 PM »
Quote from: tazmed
Quote from: Radman
When I finally got my wife on board and she read the spouse's section here, she at least had some idea what was happening.
Where is this "spouse area"?
Spousal Support

There you go. Keep in mind that they have NO IDEA what we are dealing with. Our society has fooled them into the "nicotine habit" mentality. It is an addiction, not a habit. My better half had no idea what a tough addiction it is to deal with. Dip is tougher to quit than cigs, according to many. Wives should also be prepared for the increased sex drive. :o
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Offline tazmed

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #90 on: July 08, 2011, 02:41:00 PM »
Quote from: Radman
When I finally got my wife on board and she read the spouse's section here, she at least had some idea what was happening.
Where is this "spouse area"?
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Offline Keddy

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #89 on: July 08, 2011, 02:35:00 PM »
One thing that helped me was to turn the rage back onto Nic itself. Learn to really hate the stuff . . . a contemptuous, deep-down-in-your-gut anger at the crap that was ruining your life.

When the craves come, give Nic the finger. When you see the cans at the store, whisper a derisive, "fuck you" (as silently as possible).

Hate the stuff that deserves the hate!!!

Then, get active. I found that riding my bike or taking a strenuous hike was a good way to burn off some of that energy.

Keep going, man. It's working. All you have told us is indicative that your quit is real.
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Offline Scowick65

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #88 on: July 08, 2011, 02:31:00 PM »
I did the same. It is hard once the daily grind of quitting sets in. You are no longer a newby and quitting wears old. This is where you quit one day at a time. After a bit of a grind it gets better and easier. I know exactly what you mean though. Let your quit shine through. On behalf of oz and quitters everywhere. 'Finger' nic.
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Offline Romandog

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #87 on: July 08, 2011, 02:31:00 PM »
Quote from: _oz
Day 56 of my quit and it's the funk worse than the beginning!

Wifey told me last night I was an asshole.
I am not a happy person this week.
I don't want to be at work - I want to quit.
I feel like getting into a fight - I'm just that pissy.
(in fact, I told off the umpire last Friday night - never done that before)
I honestly don't give a fuck right now.

I am in a funk and I need out - this is not me.

I am quit - I am quit - I will not cave!

What are you / what did you guys do to help get out of this? I don't like it.

No - I will not cave.
Hey OZ,

Right there with you.. Went through that two weeks ago.. Just didn't give a rip about anything.. Was ticked off at the world... And pretty much told anyone around me so.. Whether they cared or not..

Still feeling in a bit of a funk.. But not so much rage..

Been hitting the bike with my two sons every day now since the holiday.. My legs are totally fried, but it's calming me down..

Hang in there bro.. This is all part of the process.. We've done the nic crap for a long time.
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Offline Radman

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Re: I need to quit, but don't want to
« Reply #86 on: July 08, 2011, 02:22:00 PM »
Man, I had some daily battles with my anger, even past HOF, and I'm a fairly non-confrontational kind of guy. Damn near quit going to the grocery store with the wife out of fear I would kill somebody. I had a couple of moments when I was ready to punch people in the throat just for lack of etiquette in their buggy driving. I found that physical exertion (work out, chop wood, dig a hole, etc) helped a good bit.

The main thing is that you don't take it out on your family. When I finally got my wife on board and she read the spouse's section here, she at least had some idea what was happening. I occasionaly had to just walk outside and cuss at the shrubs and trees in my yard. Upon my return, the kids would sometimes ask a goofball question like "Did you get the mower fixed?" that made no sense at all. I'd realize my wife had covered for me, and I'd just nod a "thanks" to her and smile greatfully.

Your brain is accustomed to having these emotions numbed by nicotine. The healing process takes a while. If you really NEED to bitch at somebody, call up a KTC brother. We all know the feeling.
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