Thanks for all the posts. Ok, I realize that even though I completely decided to quit, and completely had it in my mind that I was going to do it, I was weak and couldn't manage. I've never met anyone with quite the same habit as me. For example, I started when I was 4. My brother did it, and thought it was funny to see the face I'd make. Here's the bad part. I never spit. I always swallow, like chasing it with iced tea or something. Therefore, this devil weed is flowing through my veins and has been since I can remember.
With that said, this day has been quite enlightening. The first couple of hours were fairly normal, except I was eating a little more than normal. By the 4th or 5th hour, I was having little things cause anger in me that I didn't know could exist. By hour 7, I couldn't tell you what my name was. On top of it all, my girlfriend told me she'd leave me if I chewed anymore (She was with me for 7 years while I did it, so it may have just been a tactic that She thought She was helping me with). When I heard that, I felt like breaking everything in the house and ended up walking a mile down the road for a can.
So here I am. I knew it will be difficult. However, I thought it would be better since I really decided I was going to do it in my mind. But my god, I have never experienced such anger before. I like this site, because I feel bad thinking I let someone down.
I'm leaving the country in January, and they don't sell chewing tobacco over there. I'm tempted to not take any with me, where I'll be forced to quit but it is a little scary to me. I know I'm not supposed to post anything on here if I'm not officially "quit", but I have under estimated exactly how hard this would be, and what it would do to my body, mind, and temperament
My body and mind was put through the ringer today, and I guess I'm trying to figure out if anyone else has swallowed for years and got over the habit, and what happened to them.
Thanks!