So here I am on day 8, and I certainly am taking the lessons of KTC to heart. Here are a few things I have realized in my first week on board:
1. Community:
I have leaned on my group. I have reached out to a few vets. I have hopped on the live chat. And I poured over the Words of Wisdom and Hall of Fame speeches. I can honestly say that if I didn't have one of these resources in place, I'd have caved by now. This shit works. Period.
2. ODAAT:
I had a freak out yesterday (Sunday, 4 October, Day 7). I worried about the future with thoughts like, "in 5-10 years from now, when shit gets hard, will I go back?" I reached out to a bunch of fellow quitters--after a few welcome kicks to the nuts I realized, "ONE DAY AT A FUCKING TIME." Fuck tomorrow. I quit today. That is all that matters. I can't get ahead of myself in this journey, and I can't dwell on the previous day's successes and failures.
3. I made it to the "mental" stage: the fog has lifted and the physical stuff has reached a manageable level, but my brain is still re-wiring. My brain still makes arguments for nicotine . . . all the more reason to stay plugged in.
4. Everything is a fucking trigger. I spent 15 years with a lip in, or thinking about my next lip. The simplest things in my daily life are triggers. I can't avoid them. I can't hide from them. I have to take them head on. Every trigger I defeat is an activity I reclaim for myself: driving in my truck, sitting on the coach, working in my shed, taking a shower, etc.
5. I am a weak as fuck. I am lucky to share KTC with some serious badass quitters that really have impacted my life in just a few days. Y'all inspire me, and I am proud to quit with you today.