The Tipping Point

[suthern_gntlman]

Day 2 down and going strong!
My wife yelled at me in tears this afternoon as she talked about my lying to her and catching me in the act.
At least she's talking to me... It's going to take a lot to gain her trust back.
I tried to explain this time is different because I want to quit, I'm not doing this because it's what I think she would want. Anyway, she wasn't much interested in what I had to say. Figured that was how it was going to be, so I didn't push the issue.
How did any other "ninja" dippers bring their wives around to learning about KTC? I think this site will not only help me quit for me, but will help rebuild trust with my wife if she can stop by and see how well I'm doing.
Damn, I'm tired - rather deal with that than cravings, though!

suthern_belle has suggested the following:

Ask her to sit down with you every morning (for a while) and watch you post roll.

She also suggested that she would be glad to text her and explain how much this site has helped, not only me (suthern_gntlman) but our marriage!

You have my number!

[Coach_Baker]

Day 2 down and going strong!
My wife yelled at me in tears this afternoon as she talked about my lying to her and catching me in the act.
At least she's talking to me... It's going to take a lot to gain her trust back.
I tried to explain this time is different because I want to quit, I'm not doing this because it's what I think she would want. Anyway, she wasn't much interested in what I had to say. Figured that was how it was going to be, so I didn't push the issue.
How did any other "ninja" dippers bring their wives around to learning about KTC? I think this site will not only help me quit for me, but will help rebuild trust with my wife if she can stop by and see how well I'm doing.
Damn, I'm tired - rather deal with that than cravings, though!

[CavMan83]

Be prepared for the suck that your life will become for the next few days.....even AFTER the physical withdrawals are complete, the mental games will continue. Just remember that even though it might feel like you're gonna die if you don't get a dip, nicotine withdrawal has never actually killed anyone ( at least I can't find any proof that it has).... Hang tough and take this one day at a time. Read as much as you can about this insidious weed and how it never did ANYTHING for you....drink plenty of water, and hit the gym. It'll be okay, but it will take some time. You're not alone....thousands have walked this KTC road..... Welcome!

[Mike1966]

Like the others here have pointed out, make sure you're quitting for yourself. Make a list of why you want to quit while it's still fresh in your mind, things you hate about being addicted to Nicotine. There will come a day when your addict mind will question why you ever thought quitting was a good idea. A list of reasons why you hate this addiction will come in handy once you've distanced yourself from day 1.

[JB65]

Take it one day at a time coach. You can do this, just get up and post roll call. The days will pile up, your confidence will pile up, the walls of your quit will build higher and higher

[Coach_Baker]

Thanks to everyone who has posted or PM'd me so far! I appreciate the encouragement and support, which is why I'm here.

All the other times I have been caught, I probably wanted to quit at the time - but I wasn't ready to quit. The hate and anger from my wife each time forced me to agree/promise something I wasn't fully ready to see through. Lately, I have wanted to quit. For me, for the betterment of me. To make me a better father and husband.

Hell, I have always thought of the day I would be free of this shit in my mouth and able to honestly tell my wife I quit if she asked.

So, why hadn't I quit yet if I honestly wanted to for some time now? Well, the beauty of this site is that I've discovered so many others have come from the same place and same situation as I am. So, I don't think too much explaining is needed here. I am an addict and it was too easy for me to get away with.

This is why I think I wanted/needed to be caught. I still don't know if that makes any sense. It doesn't mean I'm quitting because I got caught by my wife - it was just the inciting incident to spur me on to quit. A wake up call that I needed to push me over the top to quit.

It's like I knew it was coming, anyway. The past week had been full of dreams of me being caught one way or another by my wife. Very weird, but makes sense that I was actually caught the same week.

For a long time now I have thought about what it would be like to be rid of this shit. How happy I'd be in the end to no longer have to hide or lie about it. How something that had completely taken over my life and the way I think and behave could be gone for good.

I don't have to think about it anymore - I'm on the road towards living that life. That's motivation for me.

[Dagranger]

First, welcome.

Second, I see you've posted roll. That's great.

Third, read my sig line.

The trauma of being caught by your wife will fade. Your desire to quit cannot. We maintain that willingness to do whatever it takes to stay quit by posting roll early each day - before you leave the house, every single day. Posting roll is our solemn vow to the entire community to not use nicotine in any form for the entire day.

Get to know the guys in your group. Grab some number in case of emergency. Remember how badly this early part of your quit sucks so you'll never repeat it again. Stay quit, no matter what.

RDB'S sig is so spot on. As addicts, it seems we relish getting ourselves into tight spots, only to lie and repeat the process. Take the time and learn to hate nicotine in all its forms. Read the stories of death it has brought about. Think about what it means to be a man of integrity. Quit with a passion and show us each and every day with your actions. We'll be looking for you on roll, brother.

Welcome coach! Great job posting roll! Sounds like you're trying to man up! Great because this shit will test you daily! Also you wanna make it past a 100 days? That's great but here we wanna make it through the day, that 24 hours, that minute, hell sometimes those few awful seconds! Put your name on roll, early EDD! ODAAT! As long as it's on there, I'll quit with you! Get invested here, get all the numbers you can and use them. You will be a dickhead for awhile, explain to your wife I'm sure she will be so happy she will get over you being an ass! Don't be angry with your family, be a man walk off. Come in here , you will find plenty of assholes to rage with. Congratulations on your first most important step towards your new life. Quit on my friend!

^^^^^^^really good advice you are getting here. Coach, you are getting a lot of responses from folks here because your intro reads like someone who is real serious about changing their lives. Ultimately when you come here because you hit bottom and want to make a change with who you are, you have a much better chance of quitting than someone who uses this site because they just don't want to dip. So many of us came here feeling the same way you did. Sick of the lie and sneaking and life of dishonesty. And then on top of that the first thing you did here was POST ROLL! That makes you one of us, your accountability has increased because we are expecting you to keep your promise. May seem silly and inconsequential, but keep posting roll every day and you'll learn like the rest of us how important and life changing that roll post can be. Keep doing that everyday. Quitting is tough grueling work. But we are living proof that it can be done. Good luck!

[pab1964]

First, welcome.

Second, I see you've posted roll. That's great.

Third, read my sig line.

The trauma of being caught by your wife will fade. Your desire to quit cannot. We maintain that willingness to do whatever it takes to stay quit by posting roll early each day - before you leave the house, every single day. Posting roll is our solemn vow to the entire community to not use nicotine in any form for the entire day.

Get to know the guys in your group. Grab some number in case of emergency. Remember how badly this early part of your quit sucks so you'll never repeat it again. Stay quit, no matter what.

RDB'S sig is so spot on. As addicts, it seems we relish getting ourselves into tight spots, only to lie and repeat the process. Take the time and learn to hate nicotine in all its forms. Read the stories of death it has brought about. Think about what it means to be a man of integrity. Quit with a passion and show us each and every day with your actions. We'll be looking for you on roll, brother.

Welcome coach! Great job posting roll! Sounds like you're trying to man up! Great because this shit will test you daily! Also you wanna make it past a 100 days? That's great but here we wanna make it through the day, that 24 hours, that minute, hell sometimes those few awful seconds! Put your name on roll, early EDD! ODAAT! As long as it's on there, I'll quit with you! Get invested here, get all the numbers you can and use them. You will be a dickhead for awhile, explain to your wife I'm sure she will be so happy she will get over you being an ass! Don't be angry with your family, be a man walk off. Come in here , you will find plenty of assholes to rage with. Congratulations on your first most important step towards your new life. Quit on my friend!

[pky1520]

Great intro Coach - you've got the right outlook and now it's time to build a plan for success.

Posting Roll is step #1 and you've got that down, so great job!

Now, get ready for the suck. You're going to have to deal with some tough stuff physically for the next few days. I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I'll just tell you to double your water, halve your caffeine, cease your alcohol.

Have the quit convo with your wife. Apologize in advance for being an ass (you will be) and let her know that you're taking steps to keep your promise. She won't fully understand the addiction, but she will support you beating it.

Very soon, the physical stuff will pass and then the difficult part begins. Your addiction is 10% physical, 90% emotional. You've got to reprogram your brain to disassociate dip from activities in your life.

The good news is that you can do this. There is a clear path to success and it's outlined thousands of times on this site. Colonel Sanders won't share his secret spices, but I will.

1) Post Roll early and every damn day.
2) Exchange phone numbers with your quit brothers and others on this site.
3) Share here. We all get it and I'll just about guarantee that there's nothing you can say that will shock us.
4) Stay connected, be accountable and hold others accountable.
5) Be a man of your word - keep your promise every single day and you can't fail.

Welcome and I'm looking forward to seeing you kick some ass here!

[suthern_gntlman]

Hey coach, congrats on a great decision!

Check your inbox for messages (top right corner)!

[danojeno]

First, welcome.

Second, I see you've posted roll. That's great.

Third, read my sig line.

The trauma of being caught by your wife will fade. Your desire to quit cannot. We maintain that willingness to do whatever it takes to stay quit by posting roll early each day - before you leave the house, every single day. Posting roll is our solemn vow to the entire community to not use nicotine in any form for the entire day.

Get to know the guys in your group. Grab some number in case of emergency. Remember how badly this early part of your quit sucks so you'll never repeat it again. Stay quit, no matter what.

RDB'S sig is so spot on. As addicts, it seems we relish getting ourselves into tight spots, only to lie and repeat the process. Take the time and learn to hate nicotine in all its forms. Read the stories of death it has brought about. Think about what it means to be a man of integrity. Quit with a passion and show us each and every day with your actions. We'll be looking for you on roll, brother.

[RDB]

First, welcome.

Second, I see you've posted roll. That's great.

Third, read my sig line.

The trauma of being caught by your wife will fade. Your desire to quit cannot. We maintain that willingness to do whatever it takes to stay quit by posting roll early each day - before you leave the house, every single day. Posting roll is our solemn vow to the entire community to not use nicotine in any form for the entire day.

Get to know the guys in your group. Grab some number in case of emergency. Remember how badly this early part of your quit sucks so you'll never repeat it again. Stay quit, no matter what.

[Coach_Baker]

I don’t know where to start, there’s so much going on in my head right now – I don’t think I have the adequate amount of time to get it all of my chest before I pass out and fall asleep.

First thing first, I quit dipping. For real. Almost exactly 24 hours ago, my wife walked into my “man cave” looking to snuggle because she couldn’t sleep. Instead, I ruined everything by being caught with a dip in for the first time. You see, I’ve been caught before – just not actually in the act of dipping – through leaving a can out in the open or a bottle. Each time it’s the same excuses from me, the same anger from her; promises that turn into lies that I’ll quit…

This time is different. I want to quit. I’ve been wanting to quit for a while. There must have always been something egotistical going on in my head each time I was “caught” by my wife in the past. First, I didn’t like the idea of being told to quit (whether I wanted to or not) as some sort of ultimatum. Second, I’m sure I rationalized hiding my dipping from my wife because I was never actually caught in the act of doing it. “If I was just smarter and more careful about this…she’d never know!”

The reality was that I think I wanted to get caught. Or, maybe, I needed to get caught; needed to prove that I wasn’t that smart, that slick at getting away with it. Sadly, I think I needed to see that hurt in her eyes at a maximum – to see how much my lying affected her.

To be clear, I’m quitting for me. Again, I’ve been wanting to quit and in the past trying to quit as an ultimatum from her failed. I just needed that “tipping point” to occur. I’m sorry it had to involve hurting my wife’s feelings by seeing me dip in person, but I truly believe it was the tipping point that had to happen.

I feel good about thisÂ…I know I can kick it and get past 100 days.

I just hope my wife can forgive me. Maybe one day, I can show this to her and her perspective may be different down the road, when I know IÂ’ve kicked dip out of my life.

Again, IÂ’m tired and have so much to say on all this, how dip has affected my lifeÂ…I hope this made some sort of senseÂ…I'm going to go pass out on the couch now...