quit it or get it.

[brettlees]

Captain's log - day 33:

Yesterday was my 12 year wedding anniversary. My wife doesn't know it, but for most of those years I had a relationship on the side. I'd sneak out at night to see her. I'd slip away during the day for a quickie. She was seductive, she always wanted more, she was needy, always nagging, and came in a little round can that said CANCER Grizzly. She took a lot of my money. That bitch.

Monogamy feels great.

At least you had the class to slip away. I'd bang that can right in front of my wife and kids, no apologies. Those days are over, glad to quit with you today.

It feels amazing to actually have integrity-- no more dirty little secret. It took me a while to stop feeling guilty, subtly and down deep, that i was living a lie with my little secret love, chew. Sheesh! so glad to be free of that!

[Thumblewort]

Captain's log - day 33:

Yesterday was my 12 year wedding anniversary. My wife doesn't know it, but for most of those years I had a relationship on the side. I'd sneak out at night to see her. I'd slip away during the day for a quickie. She was seductive, she always wanted more, she was needy, always nagging, and came in a little round can that said CANCER Grizzly. She took a lot of my money. That bitch.

Monogamy feels great.

At least you had the class to slip away. I'd bang that can right in front of my wife and kids, no apologies. Those days are over, glad to quit with you today.

[LMM]

Captain's log - day 33:

Yesterday was my 12 year wedding anniversary. My wife doesn't know it, but for most of those years I had a relationship on the side. I'd sneak out at night to see her. I'd slip away during the day for a quickie. She was seductive, she always wanted more, she was needy, always nagging, and came in a little round can that said CANCER Grizzly. She took a lot of my money. That bitch.

Monogamy feels great.

[brettlees]

Captain's Log - day 28,

I haven't written a log in a week or so, mostly because things have calmed down a lot. I still have fog a few times each day, but it's never long-lasting. Some symptoms I haven't dealt with at all in the last week: tightness in the chest, anxiety, heart palpitations, sweats, dizziness, craves, legs feeling like jello. I hope those are all in the rear view mirror for good. I doubt it though.

Speaking of rear view mirrors, I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about my addiction (since my actual withdrawal hasn't occupied my mind as much). Obviously we all regret dipping for many reasons, otherwise we wouldn't be here. One reason that keeps popping up in my mind is lost time. How many nights have I not gone to bed with my wife and instead stayed up a while to get that extra dip? How many times have I slipped away after a meal for a chew, when I could have been playing on the floor with my toddlers or doing the dishes? How many times did I make up errands to run so I could get out and have a dip or restock when provisions were low? Those things (and so many more more) add up to a shit-ton of hours: that I'll never get back, that my wife and kids won't get back, etc.

The deep sense of regret makes the quit stronger. It makes me hate nicotine that much more. That bitch has taken so much from so many.

One thing to remember my friend, cherish every minute and use them all because like you say, you lost enough already so ake full advantage of what you have left. You also can read back and see how all these guy's told you that all the heart palpitations and etc would ease off or quit. Don't get complacent and don't ever forget you're an addict and know matter how well you feel, it takes less than a minute for that security blanket of your name on roll! Damn proud of you, quit on!

Indeed, I wish I could get back all of those hours too! I know that as an addict one more "taste" will cause me to lose even more hours. The minute it takes to post roll every day and keep my promise is essential. Keep the faith because it is so worth it! You will never regret quitting nicotine, ever! B)B

Agree with you too LMM. SO MUCH was done in service of that addiction. I still, on occasion, have to intentionally let me myself know that i am in integrity now, not a sneaky liar, because i dont sneak around with my dirty little secret friend. Spend 30+ years sneaking. Wow.! But man is it nice to be free! Glad you're on this path with us all!

[Stranger999]

Captain's Log - day 28,

I haven't written a log in a week or so, mostly because things have calmed down a lot. I still have fog a few times each day, but it's never long-lasting. Some symptoms I haven't dealt with at all in the last week: tightness in the chest, anxiety, heart palpitations, sweats, dizziness, craves, legs feeling like jello. I hope those are all in the rear view mirror for good. I doubt it though.

Speaking of rear view mirrors, I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about my addiction (since my actual withdrawal hasn't occupied my mind as much). Obviously we all regret dipping for many reasons, otherwise we wouldn't be here. One reason that keeps popping up in my mind is lost time. How many nights have I not gone to bed with my wife and instead stayed up a while to get that extra dip? How many times have I slipped away after a meal for a chew, when I could have been playing on the floor with my toddlers or doing the dishes? How many times did I make up errands to run so I could get out and have a dip or restock when provisions were low? Those things (and so many more more) add up to a shit-ton of hours: that I'll never get back, that my wife and kids won't get back, etc.

The deep sense of regret makes the quit stronger. It makes me hate nicotine that much more. That bitch has taken so much from so many.

One thing to remember my friend, cherish every minute and use them all because like you say, you lost enough already so ake full advantage of what you have left. You also can read back and see how all these guy's told you that all the heart palpitations and etc would ease off or quit. Don't get complacent and don't ever forget you're an addict and know matter how well you feel, it takes less than a minute for that security blanket of your name on roll! Damn proud of you, quit on!

Indeed, I wish I could get back all of those hours too! I know that as an addict one more "taste" will cause me to lose even more hours. The minute it takes to post roll every day and keep my promise is essential. Keep the faith because it is so worth it! You will never regret quitting nicotine, ever! B)B

[pab1964]

Captain's Log - day 28,

I haven't written a log in a week or so, mostly because things have calmed down a lot. I still have fog a few times each day, but it's never long-lasting. Some symptoms I haven't dealt with at all in the last week: tightness in the chest, anxiety, heart palpitations, sweats, dizziness, craves, legs feeling like jello. I hope those are all in the rear view mirror for good. I doubt it though.

Speaking of rear view mirrors, I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about my addiction (since my actual withdrawal hasn't occupied my mind as much). Obviously we all regret dipping for many reasons, otherwise we wouldn't be here. One reason that keeps popping up in my mind is lost time. How many nights have I not gone to bed with my wife and instead stayed up a while to get that extra dip? How many times have I slipped away after a meal for a chew, when I could have been playing on the floor with my toddlers or doing the dishes? How many times did I make up errands to run so I could get out and have a dip or restock when provisions were low? Those things (and so many more more) add up to a shit-ton of hours: that I'll never get back, that my wife and kids won't get back, etc.

The deep sense of regret makes the quit stronger. It makes me hate nicotine that much more. That bitch has taken so much from so many.

One thing to remember my friend, cherish every minute and use them all because like you say, you lost enough already so ake full advantage of what you have left. You also can read back and see how all these guy's told you that all the heart palpitations and etc would ease off or quit. Don't get complacent and don't ever forget you're an addict and know matter how well you feel, it takes less than a minute for that security blanket of your name on roll! Damn proud of you, quit on!

[LMM]

Captain's Log - day 28,

I haven't written a log in a week or so, mostly because things have calmed down a lot. I still have fog a few times each day, but it's never long-lasting. Some symptoms I haven't dealt with at all in the last week: tightness in the chest, anxiety, heart palpitations, sweats, dizziness, craves, legs feeling like jello. I hope those are all in the rear view mirror for good. I doubt it though.

Speaking of rear view mirrors, I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about my addiction (since my actual withdrawal hasn't occupied my mind as much). Obviously we all regret dipping for many reasons, otherwise we wouldn't be here. One reason that keeps popping up in my mind is lost time. How many nights have I not gone to bed with my wife and instead stayed up a while to get that extra dip? How many times have I slipped away after a meal for a chew, when I could have been playing on the floor with my toddlers or doing the dishes? How many times did I make up errands to run so I could get out and have a dip or restock when provisions were low? Those things (and so many more more) add up to a shit-ton of hours: that I'll never get back, that my wife and kids won't get back, etc.

The deep sense of regret makes the quit stronger. It makes me hate nicotine that much more. That bitch has taken so much from so many.

[brettlees]

Day 22- hanging in there? relief from the fog yet? when you get some relief, soak it in, use it to fuel you through any tough times ahead!

Well, *some* relief here on day 25. I've had patches of fog each of the last few days, but nothing over an hour or so. Much better than last week, that's for sure.

that's big to make it through that phase. Now enjoy those good times, soak them in! But keep yourself ready for any trick that might come your way. And for whatever life might throw at you. Keep building your network, and expanding your understanding of how this thing works, how to make it last for good this time.

Keep at it! glad to be quitting alongside you here.

[LMM]

Day 22- hanging in there? relief from the fog yet? when you get some relief, soak it in, use it to fuel you through any tough times ahead!

Well, *some* relief here on day 25. I've had patches of fog each of the last few days, but nothing over an hour or so. Much better than last week, that's for sure.

[brettlees]

Day 22- hanging in there? relief from the fog yet? when you get some relief, soak it in, use it to fuel you through any tough times ahead!

[Steakbomb18]

Captain's log - day 20:

Happy to have gotten to 20 days/three weeks tomorrow. There have been some *long* moments in the last 20 days where time felt like it was standing still. But, in hindsight, the last 20 days have really flown by. I can't believe I'm at 20 already. Some mornings when I go to post roll, my # of days quit seems too high so I have to go back and double check! Ha!

Nothing special to report the last few days. I simply haven't craved lately. I think about dip a lot, but I believe I've cultivated a serious hatred for nicotine and the addiction over the last three weeks. Maybe that keeps craves at bay. I don't know.

However, the fog is back with a vengeance the last two days. It's horrible, especially when you're teaching in front of 80 college students. Do they sense that something is off? I don't know.

Freedom feels good even when it's foggy out there.

Fog beats the hell out of dipping. Maybe you should share your quit story with your class. Im sure there's some in your class that dip and you might be the one that saves that one guy or gals life. I hated the fog most of all but I lived with it. Just remember it's truly your body healing. Im 52 and am playing softball again after 15 years and that's only possible because I feel so much better since I quit and my blood pressure has dropped drastically. So whatever is thrown at you take it in strive because quitting is the way to put years back on your life! Quit on my friend

Freedom feels good even when it's foggy out there.

Badass LMM. Freedom is the best feeling in the F'ing world - and it just gets better and better. When that fog lifts again, - it's on! For me, that freedom still gives me a high and it continues to pay dividends. Case in point, this week I just met a guy in my group in person I've been quitting with for all my days. I have made real, bonafide, legit friends here. Just another benefit of winning our freedom.

[pab1964]

Captain's log - day 20:

Happy to have gotten to 20 days/three weeks tomorrow. There have been some *long* moments in the last 20 days where time felt like it was standing still. But, in hindsight, the last 20 days have really flown by. I can't believe I'm at 20 already. Some mornings when I go to post roll, my # of days quit seems too high so I have to go back and double check! Ha!

Nothing special to report the last few days. I simply haven't craved lately. I think about dip a lot, but I believe I've cultivated a serious hatred for nicotine and the addiction over the last three weeks. Maybe that keeps craves at bay. I don't know.

However, the fog is back with a vengeance the last two days. It's horrible, especially when you're teaching in front of 80 college students. Do they sense that something is off? I don't know.

Freedom feels good even when it's foggy out there.

Fog beats the hell out of dipping. Maybe you should share your quit story with your class. Im sure there's some in your class that dip and you might be the one that saves that one guy or gals life. I hated the fog most of all but I lived with it. Just remember it's truly your body healing. Im 52 and am playing softball again after 15 years and that's only possible because I feel so much better since I quit and my blood pressure has dropped drastically. So whatever is thrown at you take it in strive because quitting is the way to put years back on your life! Quit on my friend

[LMM]

Captain's log - day 20:

Happy to have gotten to 20 days/three weeks tomorrow. There have been some *long* moments in the last 20 days where time felt like it was standing still. But, in hindsight, the last 20 days have really flown by. I can't believe I'm at 20 already. Some mornings when I go to post roll, my # of days quit seems too high so I have to go back and double check! Ha!

Nothing special to report the last few days. I simply haven't craved lately. I think about dip a lot, but I believe I've cultivated a serious hatred for nicotine and the addiction over the last three weeks. Maybe that keeps craves at bay. I don't know.

However, the fog is back with a vengeance the last two days. It's horrible, especially when you're teaching in front of 80 college students. Do they sense that something is off? I don't know.

Freedom feels good even when it's foggy out there.

[brettlees]

Captain's log, day 16:

Here is something odd - we have all managed to become addicted to a substance that is destructive in so many ways. In general, harmful substances are made known to us: poisonous berries taste too bitter, expired meat smells/tastes...rotten. We have innate biological mechanisms for filtering 'good' from 'bad'. But even though that first taste of Nic was probably unpleasant, something draws us back in. Humans are stupid.

I've got a very well-trained bird dog (a Chesapeake Bay Retriever). Over the years, I've let him smell a can of dip or a lighted cigar, and he always smells intently, then sneezes, then walks away with no interest. My dog has always known to stay away from tobacco leaves, but I (we) somehow stupidly return day after day. Dog's may be lower down on the evolutionary food chain, but they seem to have fewer self-destructive habits than humans. I am Jack's dog, and I am smarter than Jack.

Good job, nice to see the reflections. I agree that it is strange-- but it also still makes me mad that the tobacco companies have been proven to have engineered the stuff to be more addictive, to play on our unconscious brain chemistry to make us want it more, yet that was never stopped or penalized, nor even made widely known. Keep up this making your quit your own, keep building it to get you through the challenges for good this time!

[LMM]

Captain's log, day 16:

Here is something odd - we have all managed to become addicted to a substance that is destructive in so many ways. In general, harmful substances are made known to us: poisonous berries taste too bitter, expired meat smells/tastes...rotten. We have innate biological mechanisms for filtering 'good' from 'bad'. But even though that first taste of Nic was probably unpleasant, something draws us back in. Humans are stupid.

I've got a very well-trained bird dog (a Chesapeake Bay Retriever). Over the years, I've let him smell a can of dip or a lighted cigar, and he always smells intently, then sneezes, then walks away with no interest. My dog has always known to stay away from tobacco leaves, but I (we) somehow stupidly return day after day. Dog's may be lower down on the evolutionary food chain, but they seem to have fewer self-destructive habits than humans. I am Jack's dog, and I am smarter than Jack.