35 yo full-blooded American Male. Deep in the heart of God's Country. Mississippi for clarity. 16 year dipper. Started dipping in college because I "thought" it was the "cool/fun" thing to do. Not gonna lie, I loved it from the start. Playing ball, hunting, fishing, golf, driving, drinking, working, I would/could dip while doing anything but eating and sleeping. Over these 16 years, I've made several "attempts" to quit. Made promises to my wife, target quit dates, etc. Stopped, started, hid it, lied about it, you name it, I did it. I came to realize that for those past "attempts", I just wasn't ready to quit. I knew I needed to quit, and I wanted to quit for my family, wife and baby girl. But quitting for someone else is not a reason to quit. I had to quit for ME. My wife is a registered nurse, so she has seen first-hand what this stuff can do to you. What it does to the families. When she recently told me of a Hospice patient of hers who was a dipper, and of his condition, the "light bulb" came on and I knew it was my time to do it (or stop doing it) and do it right this time.
I did the ole "I've just opened this can and it's my last can." song and dance for the wife on a Friday night. Of course she rolled her eyes at me. I never had a can last 2-1/2 days. But I did it this time. After the "Last Dip" (and I have to say it really wasn't all that great) on the morning of Sept. 22 (11 days ago), my "want" for quitting punched me right in the face. Cold Turkey too. No alternatives or gum or seeds or patch or anything. The first day or so suuuuucccckkkeeeddd. But then I realized that it only sucked because my brain got in the way. Once I distracted myself with work (like I should have been doing all along) the cravings left me. And to this day, have not had a craving of any significance.
I only found this site after I quit. Read some things, statistics, testimonies, saw some before/after pics (mostly after) that I had seen similar ones of in the past. But those pics didn't affect me back then like they did after I had quit. Got to feeling pretty guilty. Wondered why would I purposefully do something to myself that could have me end up like these poor unfortunate souls? Started sharing some of the new things learned and seen with my wife. Although my wife has definitely been my biggest supporter, for the first couple of days she had her reservations b/c I have let her down in the past by only "stopping" and "restarting". And I wouldn't talk about the quit with her those first 2 days. But after I actually started opening up to her about it, she told me that she was proud of me and believed in her heart that I was going to complete the quit this time because she had never heard me talk with such interest and passion about quitting. She could tell there was a change in me b/w this time and the others.
So, in a nutshell, this is my story of quitting so far. It is a daily grind. But I know with the support of my two lovely ladies (Allie-wife; Eliza-2 yr old baby girl), and the support I know I will have here when/if needed, and most of all the good Lord above, I will be successful. Thanks for taking the time to read my side of the story. And please, feel free to encourage at will.
Kyle M.