I feel like I've been a bit quit on my personal thread so I figured it's about time for an update. Last week was a breeze this week has been a little more difficult. It's not that I'm having cravings, I'm just thinking about dip a lot more. I'm not dreaming about it, but I am having some whacky dreams - when I sleep. I'm barely sleeping lately. I don't know how much of that is due to the quit or due to my dog just being an amazingly effective barrier dead in the middle of the bed. I swear he gets up and changes positions 30-40 times a night. I also believe this is some crazy ploy to get me out of the bed. He wants my wife all to himself, that rat bastard.
Anyways, enough rambling.
I've been getting bumped a lot recently. I do my best to double check my role call everyday but I've had some busy days where I wasn't able to check as often as usual. I want to apologize for that. I promise to try to keep up better.
Yesterday, I was at the knee surgeon trying to avoid having surgery. If there was any one point in time I really wanted a dip to just chill the eff out - it was yesterday.
The one thing that the fake stuff has taught me is that it's not the habit of dipping that I crave, it's the nic, and I wasn't getting a buzz anymore when I was still dipping...so what the fuck is the point? Why go back to that? I liked it, I enjoyed it, sure. I also like Coca Cola, and I like swordfish and I'd really love to have a new Subaru Cross Trek, or to build a new house... you don't always need or get what you want. Right?
Fuck dip man.
