Hello. I'm new to the forum section of this site but I've been using the other parts of the site since my quit on Dec. 14 2009.
I've been dipping for the last 20 years, and my quit sort of crept up on me. I had been promising my wife for a while that I would quit (eventually) and would always put it off for later. Something happened the weekend before my quit that really hit home with me. I don't know about you other married guys out there, but my wife does not like to kiss me when I have a dip in. Well, one night she was standing under the misletoe in the house and I had to make up and excuse to go to the bathroom to dispose of the dip. My wife was not happy at all. I had really hurt her. And this wasn't the first time something like this has happened.
After the insident I told her I was going to quit... for sure. On the way to work the next morning I bought a new can of dip. My plan was to quit dipping at home and only do it at work and lie to my wife that I quit. Awesome plan, huh? That night I left my can at work and went home to lie to my wife that I had quit. I couldn't do it. I could not flat out lie to my wife and I was not going to put myself (or her) through that for the rest of my life. So, I decided to quit that night... for good.
The can still sits at work next to me with only 2 dips taken out of it. A brand new can. I felt like I had left something unfinished when I started my quit. I tried to convince myself that I could/would quit after that can was finished, but I was a day into my quit already and the first few days suck! My main motivator is that I vowed never to go through those first 3 days ever again. Another big motivator for me is when I realized the games my mind was playing on me to get me to take a dip and realizing that the nicotine was doing this to my mind. I got pissed at nicotine for doing this to me. I would not let nicotine get the best of me and it was a contest of wills and nicotine was not going to win.
I'm starting day 30 today (1 month ago I quit). I'm using the fake stuff to satisfy my oral fixation and to ease the triggers that pop up from time to time and it is working. I know eventually I'll have to stop all that, but 1 step at a time.
I live in the northeast of PA and we do get snow here. I no longer have to plan ahead and watch the weather to make sure that if I get snowed in that I'll have enough dip for the next day. Or if I have to stop on the way home from work so I'll have enough for the night. Or planning for holidays when the stores aren't open. Or leaving spitters around the house smelling up the join and getting anxiety thinking about the kids trying out the stuff from a can I have lying around. I don't mind family functions as much any more because I don't have to plan some covert actions to sneak in a dip.
Sorry for the long post. My family are all very supportive of my quit (especially my wife), but most of them don't really know what it's like and it is nice to share with people who've "been there-done that". I was embarrassed to tell anyone I dipped and I always kept it to myself. Getting things out in the open and not being shackled by mentality is liberating.
Realistically, I don't think I'll be able to make the roll call for the quit group daily (I'm a forgetful person) but I'll be here in spirit every day and I will try.
Great choice on the quit, fellow PA ex-dipper! A couple things, though...
1. Lose the can. You most definitely aren't doing yourself any favors by keeping it around,
2. Post daily. That's our whole reason for existing, and it can be the difference between success and failure. Your "forgetfulness" is bull-hockey. Is it worth your life? You have any idea how high the stakes are?
Dudaman,
dont be a tool, dump that fucking safety can bro. Why leave yourself an out? Its like getting married and keeping a naked pic of your slutty ex girlfriend
(who you could still hit anytime you wanted) in a frame on your desk. Why ? Don't say it makes you feel like you have control either. REAL control is dumping that shit.
Second , listen to yourself. I can't post everyday because I'm forgetful? ! REALLY? I bet you never forgot to have a full tin on you for the last twenty years. If you can remember to be stocked up for the weather, and where your all your shit was hidden, you can remember to take 30 seconds and post a commitment to stay quit.
Stop letting your addiction create lies and excuses. You have enough balls to stop lying to your wife, so why not stop lying to yourself as well? This is so clearly the reasoning of an addict. I know cause I said the same shit, and I've seen 300 others say the same thing. Its a bunch of b.s.
YOu can't quit in spirit, it is a daily commitment and a daily choice. Posting in here will keep your compass pointed at quit. Anything else leaves you with too many options for failure.
Good choice so far, your smart enough to get this here, so stop fucking around and use that anger of yours to focus your quit into a razor sharp edge that cuts through all the lies, rationalizations, and self delusion. Quit or don't, commit or don't , your either pregnant or your not, but this is nothing to fuck around with, it is literally your life.
sM
