So it's the end of day 3. Relax everyone, I'm cool tonight. I'm definitely bored, which, let's face it, is half the reason we all dip, dipped. I haven't really figured out how the past and present tenses go yet on this site, so I'm going to plead ignorance if I fuck anything up. I'm posting at the end of day 3, and I'm clean. Let's be absolutely clear on that. Everyone says write when you're craving or bored, so that's what I'm doing.
Without putting the cart too far ahead of the course, I'm starting to see why this place works. I'm no f'in saint, but I don't like lying....at least to other people. I'd lie to myself all day long. "This won't hurt you" "You're only 24, you can kick this shit when you get married, no harm, no foul". I don't know half the other people here beyond a name or phone number, but I don't feel like being a liar.
Here's the biggest fucking whopper I've told. Laugh all you guys want. I shit you not. I bought a new car in 2010 and literally said "Let's get a manual transmission! There's no way in hell I'll be able to dip and drive stick! That'll help me quit"
Oh, side note...I got married in 2009, so we all know how the first part went. And the married part? Well, that part will be over whenever the lawyer gets paid. I won't blame that on dip, but let's face it, it didn't help.
And as for the car? Let's just say in the last few years, I have become very proficient at both.
Like I said, I'm cool tonight. The quit is on for tomorrow's Day 4. But if there's one thing I've learned from being here...
I am an addict. I am, have been, and always will be addicted to Nicotine. And knowing and accepting that, I know what I need to do. And I'm going to do it.