DAY 6 - quit just posted roll. I'm having crazy ass dreams i don't know if they are dip dreams but woke up this morning kinda down, low energy not feeling that great. I hope the day gets better.
A dip dream is when you dream that you dipped and threw away all of the days you have built up. I had one last night, which was the first since the first week. I dreamt that I had one, and started figuring out a way I could bail from KTC without getting shredded. The interesting thing that happened in the dream was I couldn't figure out how to do so. Quitters have my number and I help run the spreadsheet in our group. There is no way I could drop out without somebody figuratively beating down the door on my phone.
I woke up and I was so pissed because I thought I had thrown everything away. All the hard work to gain my freedom back all for one stupid dip of cat turd. After about 10 seconds I realized it was a dream and I still got to post day 67 today. It felt great.
I didn't get out of that funk you're talking about until day 11 or 12. I stared at the KTC website for hours everyday reading stories and convincing myself that even though it might suck in the beginning, this is what I really wanted to do. Reading and understanding the demon that we battle everyday was huge to understanding why it is so important to me to stay quit every damn day.
Keep pushing through. It will get a lot better very soon.
