ES intro

[ES]

Just here to pay respect to my zero earned today. 60 days.

Nic bitch, I've got a short message for you, for today: you can fuck right off, Deceiver. You don't reduce stress, I don't need you when I drive, I don't need you after I eat, I don't deserve your "lovely company" because I have a stressful career, because all you do is FUCK THINGS UP EVEN MORE!

Sincerely,
ES

[ES]

56 Days - 8 Weeks

Cruising happily toward HOF and beyond with all my QUIT Brothers and Sisters!

No big updates today. A milestone reached, a new milestone takes its place in my crosshairs. There will always be the goal of another day, but I'll always stop and appreciate my small successes.

I'm only as quit as yesterday, I promise to stay quit today (as promised by daily roll posting), and I can worry about tomorrow after I make DAMN SURE to keep my word to y'all today.

PROUD TO QUIT WITH EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TODAY!!!

[ES]

This post is largely ignorable - I'm fiddling with my "signature" and seeing if it worked in the slightest. Happy Thursday, though, if you read this.

In my learning of various formatting and coding tricks on this site, I finally came upon the realization that this post was never even needed to preview my signature line as I make changes. For those that don't know and stumble upon this post, if you click "Profile" you'll see the signature preview. Lol, oops...

I'm okay with it. I needed the embarrassment of getting caught "fiddling" by chris2alaska.

[ES]

I don't know if everyone else can see my intro thread when they search the Introductions page, but I cannot. Therefore, this is another test post to see if that fucker will show back up...

UPDATE: It worked!

[chris2alaska]

This post is largely ignorable - I'm fiddling with my "signature" and seeing if it worked in the slightest. Happy Thursday, though, if you read this.

If you "fiddle" with it too much, you'll go blind

[ES]

This post is largely ignorable - I'm fiddling with my "signature" and seeing if it worked in the slightest. Happy Thursday, though, if you read this.

[69franx]

ES, just read your entire intro today. Great inspiration to be found here. Keep kicking ass and thanx for posting

[ES]

50 Days

I'm feeling very good about my quit, folks. Affirmation from the dentist that some healing has been done - lasting damage aside, I'll take the win. Couple hundred bucks still in my pocket instead of in a spitter. Seem to have less acid reflux, less hacking and coughing before bed after a pre-sleep chew. Wife is happy that I am quit. But, more importantly, I'm happy. That's the part that has to matter first, as you all know. I quit for me, it just happens that there are other people that are happy about it, too. I think maybe the coolest part of my quit is that I dragged two close friends into the quit unintentionally. Those two guys aren't on KTC, but I still try to use the KTC formula of accountability and check in on them regularly.

All said, 50 days and feelin' good. Promising to deny the nic bitch again today, and may you all equally dis the bitch.

Thanks to the vets and quitters newer than myself, and massive thanks to my April comrades for the support thus far.

[Bug Guy]

God bless you brother. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's never easy, especially given the circumstances in which you had a dear friend pass. I hope you have others near to you to help give you comfort in your time of mourning. Even still, you ever need to talk, please reach out. Im more than willing to lend an ear as im sure many other folks on here are too. But thank you for sharing. It is a very important message that everyone needs to be reminded of. It sucks that we do, but its the harsh reality. None of us are immune to it unfortunately. But like you said, please reach out, remember that you matter.

[ES]

Day 35

One of my brothers in Law Enforcement took his life last night. He'd been struggling, I believe with a separation from his wife with whom he had children.

I don't bring this up here because I'm struggling, as it relates to my quit. I'm not going to cave over this. I'm not even tempted to go get a chew. Why would I be? Because it's stressful? Because a man that I knew and never guessed would be capable of this put his gun to his own head and made that decision? No. I wouldn't even think of caving over this. Because I want to live. Just like I think he wanted to. He didn't want to die - he wanted his pain to end and he felt there wasn't another way. I'm heartbroken over that.

I write this here, on a tobacco cessation forum, because it needs to be heard in every circle, told to as many people as possible. Please, I beg you, if you are ever unable to clear your head of whatever demons you may be facing, realize that you are not alone. Reach out. To anyone. To me. Call 1-800-SUICIDE and ask for help. Do anything you can to hold on just long enough for someone to see your struggle and help you.  If it's you, send me a PM here, literally anything it takes. Walk in to a business and ask someone to call 911, that you need to not be alone. There are people like me out there - on duty or off - who will sit with you and hold your hand until you find some help. People like this man, would have done that for anyone, and it tears me apart that he couldn't get help for himself.

God love all of you. For those of you on here that are Law Enforcement, Fire, military, medical workers, I beg you to hear this message: we live our lives to serve others, but don't forget that you're worthy of being helped, too. Don't hesitate if you're the one who needs someone else to help you sometimes.

I can't think of anything else to say. I have no wisdom that someone else hasn't already put into words - way better than I ever could. God bless you all, and remember that you matter.

[Erik17]

Day 34

Back on Day 32, I learned a couple things that really motivated me:

First, a coworker of mine that I'm about to transfer to and work with every day, has also quit. He is using or did use Chantix and is doing well. On my Day 24, I traded my truck in for an upgrade and this buddy of mine got the blessing from his wife to do the same. So he got himself his new used truck on Monday, which was also his birthday and a couple weeks into his quit. I felt good and happy for him and he even told me that my quit had motivated his own.

Also on Day 32, I went to the dentist. I knew they had taken a picture of the travesty that was my lower lip when I first started going to this dentist (which was the first time I got back into regular dental care in over 10 years - as in, not a single visit in that long). I asked the hygienist about the old pictures, she looked them up and said, "why don't I take a new one?" after I told her that I had quit chewing about a month ago. She takes the new picture, shows me and says, "it almost looks like nothing ever happened!" I know my gums will forever be a bit beat up - that doesn't fix itself and of course I've opened the door for illness by being a fucking idiot for so long - but the skin on my lip and cheeks?!? Brothers and sisters, it's like night and day! I was so excited and so was my wife when I showed her! I'll take that win all day long!

I get home from the dentist and think - I ought to send that picture to my best bud and show him the good my quit has done in such a short time. I text him the pic, we talk about it for a while. He asks me how long I've been quit. I tell him "32 days" and he tells me HE'S BEEN QUIT FOR 17! NO NICOTINE WHATSOEVER! He's not on KTC at this point, I'm not entirely sure he'd drink the Koolaid, but he's my brother and I couldn't be more proud of him. I'm trying to use the KTC Jedi mind tricks on him to support his quit, even if he doesn't wind up on the forum. That's secondary, as long as I can help him stay quit. He, too, told me that I "inspired" him to quit.

I can't take the credit for helping people that I care about drop the can and start kicking this addiction in the taint over and over again, EVERY DAMN DAY! I could not be trucking along without this forum and the people that make it work. I owe my day count to the help of many and I credit the support I've received for the improvements in the lives of others around me that I am so thrilled to be witnessing.

Congrats ES! Proud to stay quit with you today. I am on day 37 and recently mentioned to my wife it's about time for a dentist visit (one I have avoided for far too long). I am not looking forward to it, but hoping for some peace of mind after to strengthen my quit that much more.

[ES]

Day 34

Back on Day 32, I learned a couple things that really motivated me:

First, a coworker of mine that I'm about to transfer to and work with every day, has also quit. He is using or did use Chantix and is doing well. On my Day 24, I traded my truck in for an upgrade and this buddy of mine got the blessing from his wife to do the same. So he got himself his new used truck on Monday, which was also his birthday and a couple weeks into his quit. I felt good and happy for him and he even told me that my quit had motivated his own.

Also on Day 32, I went to the dentist. I knew they had taken a picture of the travesty that was my lower lip when I first started going to this dentist (which was the first time I got back into regular dental care in over 10 years - as in, not a single visit in that long). I asked the hygienist about the old pictures, she looked them up and said, "why don't I take a new one?" after I told her that I had quit chewing about a month ago. She takes the new picture, shows me and says, "it almost looks like nothing ever happened!" I know my gums will forever be a bit beat up - that doesn't fix itself and of course I've opened the door for illness by being a fucking idiot for so long - but the skin on my lip and cheeks?!? Brothers and sisters, it's like night and day! I was so excited and so was my wife when I showed her! I'll take that win all day long!

I get home from the dentist and think - I ought to send that picture to my best bud and show him the good my quit has done in such a short time. I text him the pic, we talk about it for a while. He asks me how long I've been quit. I tell him "32 days" and he tells me HE'S BEEN QUIT FOR 17! NO NICOTINE WHATSOEVER! He's not on KTC at this point, I'm not entirely sure he'd drink the Koolaid, but he's my brother and I couldn't be more proud of him. I'm trying to use the KTC Jedi mind tricks on him to support his quit, even if he doesn't wind up on the forum. That's secondary, as long as I can help him stay quit. He, too, told me that I "inspired" him to quit.

I can't take the credit for helping people that I care about drop the can and start kicking this addiction in the taint over and over again, EVERY DAMN DAY! I could not be trucking along without this forum and the people that make it work. I owe my day count to the help of many and I credit the support I've received for the improvements in the lives of others around me that I am so thrilled to be witnessing.

[ES]

Day 31

Rough day. Work stuff got to be a bit extra, as my job can tend to do. Strangely enough, I got a text from Hilltop, who also had a rough one. We chatted a bit via text and both got through the shitty day, no caves. It was one of those days where I didn't really have a true "craving" for a chew, but I did have a craving for the feeling of just putting in a lipper and how it kind of made you feel like you could shrug off the shit. Of course, it's all a mind fuck and it doesn't actually help to do that.

Anyway, another day that - in the end - was beatable. You know what, that's not the right way to say it... I'm not "beating" this one day at a time, I don't want every day to feel like an obstacle I have to overcome. Nicotine is an opponent that we all must fight to best in battle, sure, but that's not all there is in a day...

There's love - for my family, my wife, my child she is growing. There's joy - knowing that I'm dedicating my professional life to try to impact and help people. There's happiness - just enjoying the small stuff and letting little victories bless my life. There's God's grace that allows me to recognize these things and let the light destroy the darkness that tries to invade every moment.

There's KTC, where a bunch of rowdy fuckers get together, roast the fuck out of each other, tell each other the shit he/she doesn't want to hear sometimes, and pick up the phone every day to encourage a brother or sister that there's too much more to life than selfishly and stupidly bowing to a can. Thanks crew, proud to quit with you all every damn day.

[EnuffSnuff]

28 days - 4 weeks!

Just got done with my rotation of evening shifts at work. In short, I work 4 weeks of day shift, then 1 week of PMs with a Sat/Sun attached to that PMs week. My first PMs week since I started my forever quit. I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit apprehensive. Didn't know how the week would feel. I had to go out on some scenes where others had a lipper in... Late nights, dragging on and on... But I made it! I didn't struggle too hard with it, but I thought more about chewing this past week than I had the three before.

So glad to be quit, folks! The obvious health benefits (or, at least discontinuing the active fuckering up of my health), the saved $$$! All roads lead to quit these days! Moving on, ODAAT, while my brain rewires itself to not rely on the old standby - dipping just because it seemed like the thing to do at the time - is totally worth it. Working through thinking things like, "I used to put a dip in right about now..." or "that guy's throwing in a lipper, time to cycle up!" With the help of some BAQ's from KTC, I feel like I can keep on trucking, no prob!

Thanks to all!

You’re a quit bad ass ES! We made 4 weeks and we’re gonna keep going. I’m proud of you and what you’ve accomplished. You and Josh are my quit day brothers. We’re going to keep crushing this quit together. Proud to be part of April BFM’s and PTQWYT! Couldn’t have gone this far without you.

[ES]

28 days - 4 weeks!

Just got done with my rotation of evening shifts at work. In short, I work 4 weeks of day shift, then 1 week of PMs with a Sat/Sun attached to that PMs week. My first PMs week since I started my forever quit. I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit apprehensive. Didn't know how the week would feel. I had to go out on some scenes where others had a lipper in... Late nights, dragging on and on... But I made it! I didn't struggle too hard with it, but I thought more about chewing this past week than I had the three before.

So glad to be quit, folks! The obvious health benefits (or, at least discontinuing the active fuckering up of my health), the saved $$$! All roads lead to quit these days! Moving on, ODAAT, while my brain rewires itself to not rely on the old standby - dipping just because it seemed like the thing to do at the time - is totally worth it. Working through thinking things like, "I used to put a dip in right about now..." or "that guy's throwing in a lipper, time to cycle up!" With the help of some BAQ's from KTC, I feel like I can keep on trucking, no prob!

Thanks to all!