So, I too disappointed my wife a few times. Everytime she caught me I vowed to quit. Always picked it up again. Then my kids caught me and broke my heart. Quit again and hated it.
It wasn't until March 14, 2012 that I realized while getting my fix that I was an addict. I hated chew, I hated that I felt weaker than a resolve. It dawned on me that was what addiction is. Even when you hate it, you still do it. It isn't about willpower, it is about being in slavery and bondage.
Nicotine owns you right now. You can't quit for your God, Wife, Kid's, Family, Work or even your health. Great motivators but to do this, you have to see your choice is no longer and you are a slave. You have to quit because YOU want to and YOU want your freedom to choose again.
This site is the strength you need to get through the dark days. Like Shawshank Redemption, you will have to break out of your cell, climb in the sewer and keep going through the hell. You stick with the KTC plan. Don't think you are smarter or different and can alter the plan. Follow instructions with exactness. Soon you will slide out of the sewer and stand on the other side of the prison and the air will beat any buzz. The buzz fails in comparison to the fresh air of having choice again.
So welcome to hell, to get out...keep crawling through that miserable sewer. You are already out of your cell by quitting today. Keep going!!!!!