KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

A Good Reminder of My Addiction

https://www.killthecan.org/a-good-reminder-of-my-addiction/

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Scott B. - 2374   
Zeno 4,615
FLLIP 3222

This comment was just left on the main site - any spouses out there who would be willing to offer some advice?

I read the Nicotine Widow post and sobbed because I’d never felt so seen on this issue. Together 30 years with two daughters – found out about a month after we got married when I found a stash in his car. Been a roller coaster ever since. No one knows. It’s so isolating. I’d love to talk with others who get it. I tried to join the linked Facebook group but it doesn’t appear to be active anymore. Any other spouse out there to chat with?

Comment on this page: https://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/

Quote from: Athan on March 16, 2025, 07:50:59 PM

Was leaving the Tractor Supply this weekend after spending too much $$ when I ran into a terrible sight. An old man was outside smoking. He was on oxygen, the familiar nasal feed tubes there on his face, supplying him with supplemental O2 because the years of smoking had so ravaged his lungs that they were no longer capable of sustaining life at the normal atmospheric levels of ~ 20%. And he was smoking. This is the quintessential man who will quit tomorrow. I was starkly aware that I was 2,630 days clean. I asked him if I could take his picture. He asked me why. I told him honestly that I had quit nicotine with some Friends, my day count, and that I wanted to share his picture with them. He said OK. For those of you who received it - his name is Bill. I don’t think he’ll be around much longer. It is indeed no small thing to be free of nicotine. I am reminded of it frequently though no so starkly as with Bill.

I'm going to a Celebration of Life on June 21st for a guy that was just like Bill.  Actually, he was probably worse off than Bill.  His name was "Kevin" and he was my friend for about the last 45 years.  He chewed, he smoked, and then he developed a drinking problem.  And then the drinking problem spiraled into a drug problem.  His wife divorced him and took their 8 year old son with her when she left.  "Kevin" was mad, but even he knew she did the right thing. 

"Kevin" was walking with a cane before the age of 50.  Soon after he was on Disability and living in a tiny apartment because it was all he could afford.  He was on oxygen before his 55th birthday.  He died one week after his 56th birthday from a massive heart attack.  I tried to help "Kevin" beat his demons for the last twenty years, but he just couldn't do it.  After awhile, he just gave up and accepted his fate. 

'Kevin" lived about two hours away from me and we didn't see each other that often.  But, we used to talk on the phone every so often.  One of the first things he would say to me when we talked on the phone was, "Can you believe we're both still alive?"  Then after a few minutes of talking he would usually go into a coughing fit and I would have to wait for him to catch his breath so we could continue the conversation.  He was my friend and I am going to miss him.  But, he was the poster child of addiction.

Don't be like "Kevin."  Don't miss your son's high school graduation because you're too drunk to drive.  And please don't miss your son's college graduation because you're dead. 

This is a true story.  Only the names have been changed to protect their identity.

You are here by choice.  You are here for a reason.  You didn't just stumble on this site by accident and start reading these pages because you were bored.  Do the right thing.  Make the right choice.  Do it for your family.  Do it for your friends.  But most importantly, do it for yourself.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Stories like this are important to share and prudent reminders of why we are here and how critical it is to battle EDD. Thank you.

Was leaving the Tractor Supply this weekend after spending too much $$ when I ran into a terrible sight. An old man was outside smoking. He was on oxygen, the familiar nasal feed tubes there on his face, supplying him with supplemental O2 because the years of smoking had so ravaged his lungs that they were no longer capable of sustaining life at the normal atmospheric levels of ~ 20%. And he was smoking. This is the quintessential man who will quit tomorrow. I was starkly aware that I was 2,630 days clean. I asked him if I could take his picture. He asked me why. I told him honestly that I had quit nicotine with some Friends, my day count, and that I wanted to share his picture with them. He said OK. For those of you who received it - his name is Bill. I don’t think he’ll be around much longer. It is indeed no small thing to be free of nicotine. I am reminded of it frequently though no so starkly as with Bill.

I'm going to a Celebration of Life on June 21st for a guy that was just like Bill.  Actually, he was probably worse off than Bill.  His name was "Kevin" and he was my friend for about the last 45 years.  He chewed, he smoked, and then he developed a drinking problem.  And then the drinking problem spiraled into a drug problem.  His wife divorced him and took their 8 year old son with her when she left.  "Kevin" was mad, but even he knew she did the right thing. 

"Kevin" was walking with a cane before the age of 50.  Soon after he was on Disability and living in a tiny apartment because it was all he could afford.  He was on oxygen before his 55th birthday.  He died one week after his 56th birthday from a massive heart attack.  I tried to help "Kevin" beat his demons for the last twenty years, but he just couldn't do it.  After awhile, he just gave up and accepted his fate. 

'Kevin" lived about two hours away from me and we didn't see each other that often.  But, we used to talk on the phone every so often.  One of the first things he would say to me when we talked on the phone was, "Can you believe we're both still alive?"  Then after a few minutes of talking he would usually go into a coughing fit and I would have to wait for him to catch his breath so we could continue the conversation.  He was my friend and I am going to miss him.  But, he was the poster child of addiction.

Don't be like "Kevin."  Don't miss your son's high school graduation because you're too drunk to drive.  And please don't miss your son's college graduation because you're dead. 

This is a true story.  Only the names have been changed to protect their identity.

You are here by choice.  You are here for a reason.  You didn't just stumble on this site by accident and start reading these pages because you were bored.  Do the right thing.  Make the right choice.  Do it for your family.  Do it for your friends.  But most importantly, do it for yourself.