The house is quiet... my oldest has been at my sister's house for 2 weeks (6 more days- oh how I miss him!!!) and the hubs and little guy are sleeping. I'm alone with my thoughts and find myself so stressed and frustrated. I figured I can just shoot my thoughts out on here even if no one ever reads it!
I'm on day 35 and proud to be quit. My thoughts aren't about caving or wanting to cave- but I do think how my situation would be different if I hadn't quit. Since I quit I think I have gained about 15 pounds. I'm so upset about that. All I did was get rid of one addiction to feed another. I've always had issues with weight... but saying that is a cop out isn't it?? "issues" no... an addiction. I have an addictive personality and food is the next one. I graduated from college 4 years ago and finished an internship about 7 months ago. Still job searching... I have gone on interviews but no bites yet. I interviewed for an amazing job last week and have to wait til the middle of next week to find out if I get a call for the second interview. I am so stressed and lonely (bc son is gone and hubs working a lot of overtime to try and make ends meet) that the only thing I feel I can control is food. Yes feeding emotions doesn't help but I will NOT start cancer shit again. How do I push down these addictions?? Why has quitting been "easy" (not exactly but has been such a focus that not being quit isn't even an option anymore...) and yet I find myself eating my stress and boredom?? Find something else to do... okay like what? Go for a walk.... okay heat index has been over a 100 for a few days. Read a book... I have a 3 year old... kind of hard. I tried the fake stuff... its ok but not what I'm looking for. I get what I'm doing... I'm coming up with "answers" for everything which doesn't help address the issue.
I'm not expecting anyone to make sense of this turmoil- like I said I just needed to vent. I don't know how to take action in a world where everything is out of my control. Quitting was a goal and was something I controlled. But this is so different... I can't control money or jobs or food.
Is this normal? I know I am stressed but these overwhelming feelings are swallowing me. Is there some 35 day fog or hump I have hit and tomorrow I will wake with a better metabolism? haha! We need a forum like this for eating... lol Has anyone else had an eating issue after quitting? What have you done to combat it?????
First and foremost sorry about your job situation, the good man take care of that. As far as eating situation hasn't really been a problem for me, do some exercise in the house, situps, pushups, jog in place, etc. I know that's not what you want to hear, sorry but it will help. So, yes you are going through a funk and there will be more, put on your big girl panties and Deal with them. Read what you wrote back to yourself a couple times. Addict speak. She's nawing at you, getting you while you're down, come on just one dip and you will feel so much better and you know that's bullshit! You have came way to far to come back through this shit again! I have read several stories where men and women will literally sit down and cry. Now how powerful is this addiction?! It's tough girlfriend, after 204 day's of freedom I still battle this bitch daily. You Can Do This! You are not alone! Damn proud to be quit with you today my sister!
Dea, hey girl I hear ya, first off, so very therapeutic to journal your thoughts out! Whether someone reads them or not other than yourself makes no difference.
This form or reaching out in here will save your life. Lots of people in your same "boat".
You are rewiring your brain. You are quit, with no question to dip again, ever. That is apparent.
You are in the business of making healthy choices now. Do so in all aspects of your life.
If you don't like the fake dip, use tea bags, or jerky or fresh mint. Try to keep healthy, low cal snacks in the house /veggies/fruit instead of the normal "easy" ones which tend to have lots of calories.
It's a roller-coaster and I went through a super tough time at 24, 25 days and then again later. But you can do this Dea. I'm here for you if you need to talk.
Under the "WILDCARD" section / scroll down on the main KTC page, there is a "overeating/undereating " thread, "exercise" thread, "weight loss" thread. Those would be good for you to go check out and talk with some there too! Talk it out, ask questions. Get involved with some other quitters who share the same frustrations as you.
Love ya girl.
