another FNG; new to this site;

[CavMan83]

Go ahead and rage all you want in here. We've all been there and know it's a mother of an addiction to break. Just remember you're not alone, and countless others have walked the path you're on now.

Also remember even though it might seem like it, quitting nicotine won't actually kill you. Stay strong, Matt. You got this.

Okay here I'm dying to say this to someone right now who is a whiney little cunt that just can't stand to not be the center of attention no matter what because her city life and city friends and huge cunt of a mother have taught her she's a mother fucking princess and I'm supposed to be happy and cheerful to contemplate every decision she has to fucking make for her like she's a God damn 2 year old. Go camping with your mommy or not... it's your fucking mom bitch! Choose! I'd rather go camping with Hannibal than go with your stupid ass mother and her fat as fuck drunk ass boyfriend she's trying to impress by having us go. His 17 year old can't even order her own food at a restaurant, why do I want to get to know those weak fuckers?. And yeah bitch I will get rid of your needy ass house, four wheeler, camper the whole nine yards if your bitch ass can't back the fuck up be a God damn adult and let me take care of myself once in a while. I knew I'd be better off alone than with a mother fucking weak ass city person walking around with a fucking lazy ass Kardashian as a hero. Get a fucking life and stop being the victim bitch just because you have to choose for yourself whether to go camping or stay home or go to a funeral with me or stay at work. And if I can't ignore people because I am irritated and that makes you need to have a counseling session and all that other pussy ass shit then go fuck yourself.

Well... alrighty, then!

That, boys-n-girls, is how you vent.

Bring it on, man... this is a safe place to put it out there.

Damn.....just.....Damn!

Good thing Matt had an outlet for that....can you imagine keeping that much fury bottled up for even a little while? His friggin' head would blow off, just like that water heater commercial from Farmers! Rage on, Matt, but while you're raging, stay quit. Let us know how, in a practical way, we can help other than to encourage you to do whatever you have to to not put that crap in your lip.

[pab1964]

Go ahead and rage all you want in here. We've all been there and know it's a mother of an addiction to break. Just remember you're not alone, and countless others have walked the path you're on now.

Also remember even though it might seem like it, quitting nicotine won't actually kill you. Stay strong, Matt. You got this.

Okay here I'm dying to say this to someone right now who is a whiney little cunt that just can't stand to not be the center of attention no matter what because her city life and city friends and huge cunt of a mother have taught her she's a mother fucking princess and I'm supposed to be happy and cheerful to contemplate every decision she has to fucking make for her like she's a God damn 2 year old. Go camping with your mommy or not... it's your fucking mom bitch! Choose! I'd rather go camping with Hannibal than go with your stupid ass mother and her fat as fuck drunk ass boyfriend she's trying to impress by having us go. His 17 year old can't even order her own food at a restaurant, why do I want to get to know those weak fuckers?. And yeah bitch I will get rid of your needy ass house, four wheeler, camper the whole nine yards if your bitch ass can't back the fuck up be a God damn adult and let me take care of myself once in a while. I knew I'd be better off alone than with a mother fucking weak ass city person walking around with a fucking lazy ass Kardashian as a hero. Get a fucking life and stop being the victim bitch just because you have to choose for yourself whether to go camping or stay home or go to a funeral with me or stay at work. And if I can't ignore people because I am irritated and that makes you need to have a counseling session and all that other pussy ass shit then go fuck yourself.

Well... alrighty, then!

That, boys-n-girls, is how you vent.

Bring it on, man... this is a safe place to put it out there.

Damn.....just.....Damn!

[AppleJack]

Go ahead and rage all you want in here. We've all been there and know it's a mother of an addiction to break. Just remember you're not alone, and countless others have walked the path you're on now.

Also remember even though it might seem like it, quitting nicotine won't actually kill you. Stay strong, Matt. You got this.

Okay here I'm dying to say this to someone right now who is a whiney little cunt that just can't stand to not be the center of attention no matter what because her city life and city friends and huge cunt of a mother have taught her she's a mother fucking princess and I'm supposed to be happy and cheerful to contemplate every decision she has to fucking make for her like she's a God damn 2 year old. Go camping with your mommy or not... it's your fucking mom bitch! Choose! I'd rather go camping with Hannibal than go with your stupid ass mother and her fat as fuck drunk ass boyfriend she's trying to impress by having us go. His 17 year old can't even order her own food at a restaurant, why do I want to get to know those weak fuckers?. And yeah bitch I will get rid of your needy ass house, four wheeler, camper the whole nine yards if your bitch ass can't back the fuck up be a God damn adult and let me take care of myself once in a while. I knew I'd be better off alone than with a mother fucking weak ass city person walking around with a fucking lazy ass Kardashian as a hero. Get a fucking life and stop being the victim bitch just because you have to choose for yourself whether to go camping or stay home or go to a funeral with me or stay at work. And if I can't ignore people because I am irritated and that makes you need to have a counseling session and all that other pussy ass shit then go fuck yourself.

Well... alrighty, then!

That, boys-n-girls, is how you vent.

Bring it on, man... this is a safe place to put it out there.

[mattatk81]

Go ahead and rage all you want in here. We've all been there and know it's a mother of an addiction to break. Just remember you're not alone, and countless others have walked the path you're

[CavMan83]

Matt need post in your home group. They are weak, take a little time put some thought in them

Okay is this better??

What happened?
I was weaker than I thought and I caved to the nic bitch in the spring of 2013.

Why did it happen?
I didn't know my friends I was talking with had started smoking again. I was drinking with them and about 4 beers in when they lit up. They had quit smoking when I quit chewing it was kind of a competition to see who could outlast who and I hadn't seen them since I had quit because of THE MEGA BITCH. So when I saw them smoking I asked for one. After my first puff I asked when they started smoking again. I found out my friend Joe was smoking and chewing now. I told them about that being my first cigarette since 2011 and they got mad that I asked them for one.
It also happened because I wasn't posting up anymore because I thought I had overcome my addiction. Life got really shitty with THE MEGA BITCH and I tried using nicotine as a coping mechanism.
And even though this was ultimately my decision to use again... it also happened because I discovered that I was married to THE MEGA BITCH and not only was paying for her custody battle half the country away and her daughters funeral, her family to travel in, her new car, I was also financing her sexual Craigslist adventures while I was out of town. And my fishing buddy, and customer that hadoesn't gotten THE MEGA BITCH a job was also doing her in my bed. So I chewed because of that worthless white trash whore.

What are you going to do different this time?
This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am.
The MEGA BITCH is gone so no worries there.
I'm going to follow two things Anthony Robbins says... replace "it" with something.... I'm going to go to the gym for an hour a day to help relieve my anxiety.
And he says to use the pain and pleasure principle... associate nothing but pain to chewing and pleasure to liftiNguyen and exercise

Definitely

Go ahead and rage all you want in here. We've all been there and know it's a mother of an addiction to break. Just remember you're not alone, and countless others have walked the path you're on now.

Also remember even though it might seem like it, quitting nicotine won't actually kill you. Stay strong, Matt. You got this.

[mattatk81]

Matt need post in your home group. They are weak, take a little time put some thought in them

Okay is this better??

What happened?
I was weaker than I thought and I caved to the nic bitch in the spring of 2013.

Why did it happen?
I didn't know my friends I was talking with had started smoking again. I was drinking with them and about 4 beers in when they lit up. They had quit smoking when I quit chewing it was kind of a competition to see who could outlast who and I hadn't seen them since I had quit because of THE MEGA BITCH. So when I saw them smoking I asked for one. After my first puff I asked when they started smoking again. I found out my friend Joe was smoking and chewing now. I told them about that being my first cigarette since 2011 and they got mad that I asked them for one.
It also happened because I wasn't posting up anymore because I thought I had overcome my addiction. Life got really shitty with THE MEGA BITCH and I tried using nicotine as a coping mechanism.
And even though this was ultimately my decision to use again... it also happened because I discovered that I was married to THE MEGA BITCH and not only was paying for her custody battle half the country away and her daughters funeral, her family to travel in, her new car, I was also financing her sexual Craigslist adventures while I was out of town. And my fishing buddy, and customer that hadoesn't gotten THE MEGA BITCH a job was also doing her in my bed. So I chewed because of that worthless white trash whore.

What are you going to do different this time?
This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am.
The MEGA BITCH is gone so no worries there.
I'm going to follow two things Anthony Robbins says... replace "it" with something.... I'm going to go to the gym for an hour a day to help relieve my anxiety.
And he says to use the pain and pleasure principle... associate nothing but pain to chewing and pleasure to liftiNguyen and exercise

Definitely [/quote]I did

[pab1964]

Matt need post in your home group. They are weak, take a little time put some thought in them

Okay is this better??

What happened?
I was weaker than I thought and I caved to the nic bitch in the spring of 2013.

Why did it happen?
I didn't know my friends I was talking with had started smoking again. I was drinking with them and about 4 beers in when they lit up. They had quit smoking when I quit chewing it was kind of a competition to see who could outlast who and I hadn't seen them since I had quit because of THE MEGA BITCH. So when I saw them smoking I asked for one. After my first puff I asked when they started smoking again. I found out my friend Joe was smoking and chewing now. I told them about that being my first cigarette since 2011 and they got mad that I asked them for one.
It also happened because I wasn't posting up anymore because I thought I had overcome my addiction. Life got really shitty with THE MEGA BITCH and I tried using nicotine as a coping mechanism.
And even though this was ultimately my decision to use again... it also happened because I discovered that I was married to THE MEGA BITCH and not only was paying for her custody battle half the country away and her daughters funeral, her family to travel in, her new car, I was also financing her sexual Craigslist adventures while I was out of town. And my fishing buddy, and customer that hadoesn't gotten THE MEGA BITCH a job was also doing her in my bed. So I chewed because of that worthless white trash whore.

What are you going to do different this time?
This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am.
The MEGA BITCH is gone so no worries there.
I'm going to follow two things Anthony Robbins says... replace "it" with something.... I'm going to go to the gym for an hour a day to help relieve my anxiety.
And he says to use the pain and pleasure principle... associate nothing but pain to chewing and pleasure to liftiNguyen and exercise [/quote]Definitely

[pab1964]

Matt need post in your home group. They are weak, take a little time put some thought in them

Okay is this better??

What happened?
I was weaker than I thought and I caved to the nic bitch in the spring of 2013.

Why did it happen?
I didn't know my friends I was talking with had started smoking again. I was drinking with them and about 4 beers in when they lit up. They had quit smoking when I quit chewing it was kind of a competition to see who could outlast who and I hadn't seen them since I had quit because of THE MEGA BITCH. So when I saw them smoking I asked for one. After my first puff I asked when they started smoking again. I found out my friend Joe was smoking and chewing now. I told them about that being my first cigarette since 2011 and they got mad that I asked them for one.
It also happened because I wasn't posting up anymore because I thought I had overcome my addiction. Life got really shitty with THE MEGA BITCH and I tried using nicotine as a coping mechanism.
And even though this was ultimately my decision to use again... it also happened because I discovered that I was married to THE MEGA BITCH and not only was paying for her custody battle half the country away and her daughters funeral, her family to travel in, her new car, I was also financing her sexual Craigslist adventures while I was out of town. And my fishing buddy, and customer that hadoesn't gotten THE MEGA BITCH a job was also doing her in my bed. So I chewed because of that worthless white trash whore.

What are you going to do different this time?
This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am.
The MEGA BITCH is gone so no worries there.
I'm going to follow two things Anthony Robbins says... replace "it" with something.... I'm going to go to the gym for an hour a day to help relieve my anxiety.
And he says to use the pain and pleasure principle... associate nothing but pain to chewing and pleasure to liftiNguyen and exercise [/quote]Definitely

[mattatk81]

Matt need post in your home group. They are weak, take a little time put some thought in them[/quote]Okay is this better??

What happened?
I was weaker than I thought and I caved to the nic bitch in the spring of 2013.

Why did it happen?
I didn't know my friends I was talking with had started smoking again. I was drinking with them and about 4 beers in when they lit up. They had quit smoking when I quit chewing it was kind of a competition to see who could outlast who and I hadn't seen them since I had quit because of THE MEGA BITCH. So when I saw them smoking I asked for one. After my first puff I asked when they started smoking again. I found out my friend Joe was smoking and chewing now. I told them about that being my first cigarette since 2011 and they got mad that I asked them for one.
It also happened because I wasn't posting up anymore because I thought I had overcome my addiction. Life got really shitty with THE MEGA BITCH and I tried using nicotine as a coping mechanism.
And even though this was ultimately my decision to use again... it also happened because I discovered that I was married to THE MEGA BITCH and not only was paying for her custody battle half the country away and her daughters funeral, her family to travel in, her new car, I was also financing her sexual Craigslist adventures while I was out of town. And my fishing buddy, and customer that hadoesn't gotten THE MEGA BITCH a job was also doing her in my bed. So I chewed because of that worthless white trash whore.

What are you going to do different this time?
This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am.
The MEGA BITCH is gone so no worries there.
I'm going to follow two things Anthony Robbins says... replace "it" with something.... I'm going to go to the gym for an hour a day to help relieve my anxiety.
And he says to use the pain and pleasure principle... associate nothing but pain to chewing and pleasure to liftiNguyen and exercise

[pab1964]

What happened? I caved
Why did it happen? Because I was stupid and caved in a weak period of time, which lead me into using nicotine daily again. I let my guard down.
What are you going to do different this time? This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am done needing to. I think things could have been different if I had still been posting up

Matt need post in your home group. They are weak, take a little time put some thought in them

[mattatk81]

What happened? I caved
Why did it happen? Because I was stupid and caved in a weak period of time, which lead me into using nicotine daily again. I let my guard down.
What are you going to do different this time? This time I am going to post roll even after I feel like I am done needing to. I think things could have been different if I had still been posting up

[pab1964]

I truly want to help you all I can with this and I can't say what I would have done in your shoes early on in my quit but now I've tasted true freedom and I will never go back! You already know this is he'd so please take the time to think about the 3 questions, answer them and if you get called out, so what! Drink the kool aid, there just words and I know you can take it. Main thing take what you need from here and leave the rest. I dipped 38 years stopped 100's of times but found Ktc and by golly 570 days later thanks to some of the baddest quitters ever I'm free and loving every damn second of it! Get it done! Honestly no one here wants to see you fail, we're all addicts and we need each other to survive!

[mattatk81]

Matt, I think you were in my original class. Today is day 1893 for me, and I know you wish you were posting with similar numbers. People will jump your shit for not posting and doing it their exact way. I ran into that at the start. Scowick reached out to me and allowed me to text him daily when I could not post. Please post daily, it does help.

Wish? Hell man I have no idea how to explain the feelings of regret I have for caving. The sweats, the sores on my tongue, waking up 3 dozen times a night because I inhaled stomach acid, it all sucks and reminds me of just how stupid it was to sign myself up for this again. Today would have been 1888 days, instead I'm on day 2... that sucks to say. But day 2 also means that I care about being alive again. Which may seem small and simple to you, but it's huge for me. I guess it all depends on the view from where you are standing.

I hate talking about what happened to me and remembering life around the time I caved. I'm sure there are many people who have had it worse than me but I guess I am not as strong because I was destroyed and I caved to everything, not just chewing.

Scowick and Syndrome were all bad asses and helped me a lot back in the day. I apologize for letting you and the other guys down by not staying quit with you. I am posting up and struggling through.

[CavMan83]

Look your not gonna hurt my feelings, I got one mission with you and that's not necessarily to make you like me, frankly I don't give a shit if you like me or not. My main goal is to do whatever it takes for you to get serious about your quit. Post damn roll every day here is expected. Sorry you got screwed over by your so called wife but look ain't no one worth killing yourself over. Being angry is expected so if you feel like you need to bitch and raise hell, as long as your names on roll , take all the free shots you want at me! Quit on! Be careful the one you dislike the most just liable to be the one pull you off that cave ledge! First and foremost answer your questions and don't resist what just might be your , no I should say will be your best chance at quitting! Be a man about this or you gonna continue getting shit slung at you!

You may or may not believe it Matt, but Pab's got your best interests at heart. All he, or anyone else in this forum, wants from you is openness, honesty, integrity, and dedication to your quit. Your post up above is getting at the answers to the questions really closely. I would urge you to spend a little bit more time in self-reflection, then post up what you really felt about why you caved and what you're going to do differently....you said yourself...that was yesterday, and now you're back in the saddle.

Show us you're serious. Show us you got all that put behind you. Be open, be honest, rage and bitch if you want....like Pab said, we just want you quit. But you have to play by the ground rules of the forum. That's where the three questions (in each group you've ever been a part of), and the DAILY roll post comes in. From what I've seen for the past two days, at least you have the roll part down pat.

[pab1964]

Look your not gonna hurt my feelings, I got one mission with you and that's not necessarily to make you like me, frankly I don't give a shit if you like me or not. My main goal is to do whatever it takes for you to get serious about your quit. Post damn roll every day here is expected. Sorry you got screwed over by your so called wife but look ain't no one worth killing yourself over. Being angry is expected so if you feel like you need to bitch and raise hell, as long as your names on roll , take all the free shots you want at me! Quit on! Be careful the one you dislike the most just liable to be the one pull you off that cave ledge! First and foremost answer your questions and don't resist what just might be your , no I should say will be your best chance at quitting! Be a man about this or you gonna continue getting shit slung at you!