this is such a bitch. I woke up, craving as usual. Didnt get out of bed for an hour. Then lingered in my house for an hour. Got in my car, to get dip, peeled off a block before 7-11. Fuck that was close. My mouth is legitimately watering at the thought of dip.
Yesterday was so easy. I woke up got my mind right. Today, I kept saying "you aren't dipping today", but I knew it was half assed conviction and I was in for a fight today.
Please keep posting anywhere you feel necessary, but this is stuff your quit group needs to hear and help you with.
Do you have numbers to call when it gets this close again?
Tom,
I know you have my number and the next time you get that close I had better get a damn phone call. Regardless, way to stay strong.
i went into my quit group today and the first post I saw, some rah rah post focusing on some guy that has come back, telling the guy to go fuck himself. I was in a bad mood to begin with, I read that shit and just thought. Who the fuck does that help? Maybe the person posting it. Quitting is so hard, that dealing with any negativity for me is very fragile. I rather, pretend that cavers are gone and were never here. "Ooh im a big pussy. OK I am. Now what drill sergeant?"
Seeing people preaching to others that have caved in the past is beyond counterproductive for me. Yeah i get that a certain type of mentality will get empowerment from this bravado shit. But give me a break, it's all based on fear of rejection and need for approval. It works on some and is nothing for others, and it actually is very counterproductive for me.
That said, I was already angry when I read that post, don't know what the back story is, or who the players are. I just know it was the first thing I read, and it took me two steps back.
Kev, I got your number, but like I said. Once I crack, it's not like the thing on my mind is to get an OK from someone to dip. The brain is broken, in a foggy frenzy to get it's fix, it knows that calling someone that will make it harder to get the fix is not in line with its objectives.
I'm not going to dip today, and that is all that matters to me at this moment.