What a weird few days. First, I really appreciated all the feedback on my cigar thing. In hindsight it was kinda stupid....I could have done that research myself...it has all been covered here many times. I guess I just wanted to b*tch about it and hear it all again, first hand from the group. Was that selfish? I think it came from that part of my addict brain that still cannot really deal with the NARFAR aspect of my NICOTINE addiction. I did hear from a few folks on the down low that they thought the cigar policy is kinda over the top, but the more I think about it, the more I come out where DonkeyMN and so many others come out...even if it was true that cigars are different (and it ain't), why the h*ll would I even take the remotest chance to f*ck up my quit and become a slave again? I won't and feel very strongly about this now...no way I cave because of an old friend handing me a cigar. Not gonna happen, so maybe the whole thing was worth it.
Next up was the whole bruhaha over a careless remark about our HofF conductors. Wow, what a little tempest I kicked up there. Was I trying to provoke? I don't really know. Was absolutely not the main reason for the post. Main reason was to celebrate two great Decemberist quitters. However, my attitude has been so sh*tty lately, maybe I was taking a swipe. Should not have done it. Should NEVER IN ANY WAY complain about people who are volunteering their time to help me! Stupid, stupid, stupid. It also was a great reminder of (A) how drama is a huge part of this site (for better or worse...take your pick and my personal opinion on that changes regularly) and (B) how sensitive some people can be about things. I mean I would have never dreamed that tiny little phrase would have stirred up so much shit, but people here are very smart and do pay attention and do care a h*ll of a lot about this whole deal. Part of what makes KTC special and effective. At any rate, I really appreciated the many 4TW friends who leaped to my defense. Not necessary but very cool. For the record, apologies sent to all vets who seemed offended and to the conductors in case they were offended, and many lessons learned by this quitter.
And those were not even the most interesting things that happened to me and my quit over the last 10 days!! The real crazy came next, and I willl try to write about that next chance I get!
Through it all, I believe my quit got stronger. Also my mood is better, fog down, etc. ODAAT but feeling good and getting better on many fronts!
