I am pissed, let down, irritated and actually, not surprised that you just posted a day one.
Pissed because of your lack of giving a shit. Quitting is hard. It is always hard. It's easier some days than others, but it's still hard. Pissed that you are too weak to do it.
Let down because I thought you were part of my quit posse. We weren't the closest of quit partners, but we had something there that I counted on.....your word. You said you would call me if you needed help. Let down that you didn't do as you said.
Irritated to hear you just wanna bounce back in like it's okay to be on this roller coaster you choose and call it "quit". You don't fully accept what that means. You can't accept it because you don't understand it. You haven't been paying attention.
Most of all, I am not surprised. You stopped posting roll because you thought you had this shit licked. You use things like "lost my numbers" to try and rationalize that you didn't reach out to anyone. I broke my phone once. I was on Facebook asking for numbers again, telling others to ask others to send me their numbers, and going thru my inbox to write them all down again. All you had to do was log on here. You didn't loose numbers. You decided not to call.
When you put that dip in your mouth, did you pause at all to think about what you were about to do? Did you think of any of the faces you had met? Any of the people you talked to on the phone, in chat on PMs? Once it hit your lip and burn started, did you quickly take it out and log on? Or, did you sit there, feel the buzz, fulfill your craving and laugh in our faces? Once you finished your dip, did you finish the can? Buy another?
"Nothing gets in the way of my quit. Take nicotine off the table. Choose something else." ~ Ginet
