Day Three of Quit.
I have been extremely busy with school, baseball, and work. Sorry I did not have a chance to post my Day 2. If I had posted my Day 2, I would not of caught the seemingly endless amount of flack falling from my original post.
When I made that first post, it was more like someone who had the realization they needed to have in order to make an honest effort in making their life better. Much like an addict going to an AA meeting, yet still being influenced by the drug.
At least I walked through the door declaring to not only myself, but all of you, that I indeed have quite the problem on my hands that must be fixed. I am sorry that I stressed many of you that are in the process of quitting, and I apologize for being disrespectful in that way.
I have not packed a lip since that post and am still going pretty strong. They say that day 3 is the most difficult but I would have to disagree. Sure, I want to throw in a lip on the train, in this library, in the bathroom...literally anywhere. But I am keeping my hitting streak alive and have tacked on a couple more hours.
For the person that said they wanted to punch the screen. I feel that your mentality is not what you need in order to be successful with your quit. It's just chew. It's literally just a plant material that your physical body has become reliant on in order to sustain its chemical homeostasis. Your "true mind and self" are not reliant on anything but yourself. It's just your body saying,"Yo, what's going on? I am not used to this." Therefore, you are going to be uncomfortable with anything that is going on. It's not the chew that's making you go through all that stress...it's you. It's your body literally putting words in your head making you believe that you are stressed because of the chew.
Day 3
I have learned to tell the difference between my true self and my physical self. My physical self is the voice in my head that says its time to go to the bathroom, eat food, I'm tired, time to wake up, time to throw in a chew. It's almost like that part of my inner-talk is like a reptile. It simply eats, goes to the bathroom, has sex, and sleeps, and lets you know when those things need to happen. Then there is my true self, the one that is the driver to the physical body.
This is the voice in my head that says this is right or wrong, what do I need to do today to be successful?, what makes me happy? This voice has told me hundreds of times that chew is bad and to stop. But I listen to my body instead because it becomes uncomfortable when it is in an unfamiliar place. The longer I go without a chew, the easier it becomes to just listen to my true self and let my inner light guide me.
When I do that, I actually forget about quitting. I forget about dip and all of that. It's because my true self becomes more powerful in simply telling my body,"I don't dip." Every minute I go, it becomes way easier to just act like it was never a part of my life. When I ignore my physical body/talk, I do things that truly make me happy. This activity I choose naturally releases dopamine and I become happy and reverse my addiction. I am still rewiring my dopamine circuits to fire without the use of nicotine as a dopamine antagonist.
I am trying to have a scientific lab rat approach to my quit, and I am the experiment. So far I am on Day 3 and feeling pretty good.
Noted Material.
You know when you freak out over having a chew? When I do, I start laughing and finding things hilarious. I can either get pissed about not having a chew, and go down that road, which sucks a bag of you know what. Or say, I don't dip (true self talk)...so what the hell can I do to make me happy right now. So far, it's consisted of telling retarded jokes to my girlfriend that I find hilarious. Or last night, I wanted to chew and watch the TV but didn't, and I thought it was SO FUNNY when CNN played a video of Mitt Romney giving this rally speech and in the back-round was the debt ceiling calculator just going into the trillions of dollars. Obvious attack to Obama.
Gotta go trains leaving.
