Our addictive minds....what a bitch?
I was reading some weak ass's intro a few minutes ago, sounded like he thought he could do better by himself cause roll call scared him. It reminded Bruce of the stop he had before the final quit. So come gather around the fire kids, for Uncle Bruce's story time....
I had stopped the January before my quit for 3 whole weeks (i know, pat me on the ass and call me sally). I was proud, i had convinced my ex i was done for good. Then I had a weak moment. I had no one around me that could slap me across the head and tell me to pull my head outta my ass. I bummed a dip from a dumb ass redneck friend at a bar and the next day I went out and bought another tin. I then continued to ninja dip for the next month or so before i was caught. If that wasn't a bitch enough, the days off my ex and i had together, I didn't dip. So essentially i was sending myself through day 1 withdrawals once or twice a week for a couple fucking months. I was a complete ass one day a week for no reason at all. She finally caught me and i could go back to dipping in the open.
I sent myself through withdrawals weekly...that is what my addicted mind did to me. The Nic bitch told me this is what i needed to do to keep her, and I allowed her to do so because she was my crutch. Once you are an addict, you can never trust yourself again, you must always have your guard up because you will have a weak moment. I could not have made it past 3 weeks without KTC. Period. I have had too many weak moments since to have made it on my own. The difference is the accountability i have here. My daily sexters. I cannot let them down, I can let myself down, but never you sweet Sac...never. I can bear to think what Mcarmo would say. The Nic bitch will whisper in your ear one day, and your addicted ass will say 'yea..i can just have one, what will one hurt?'. At that moment, who will you have to lean on?
Now let us hold hands and sing Kumbaya
