Not too late

[ninereasons]

Day 45

My temper seems to be increasingly under control over these past two weeks. Tomorrow might be different, but the trend is good. If I indulge feelings of annoyance or frustration I become anxious and snippy; but I don't have to indulge those feelings.

My wife says that she likes me better than when I was chewing. I was "dull for a long time", according to her - I'm paraphrasing what she said. I've let her know that I'm going to have to stay quit, even if it turns out that I'm a worse person without a wad of chew in my face; but it's good if that won't be an obstacle.

I returned to using fake snuff occasionally, because I was impulsively eating candy without it. I've had the same can for more than a week, though. The first tiny shoots of mint are poking through on the south side of my house; chewing mint after meals keeps candy out of my mouth, keeps my breath fresh, and adds a nice yellow-green tint to my teeth.

I'm sleeping better, but I have a hard time staying awake in the morning. That may have nothing to do with quitting, though. I've been getting up at 5:30 to run or go to the gym, which I haven't done for decades.

I am so glad to be quit. The thought runs through my mind now and then, to have just one; but I am feeling clean, healthy and more in control, so that I haven't been struggling with wanting one. Anyway, regardless of how I feel, I've posted roll today. I've got people who might need me to post roll for them later. Caving just doesn't fit in.

[G]

Sorry to hear about your friend, nine. Thanks for sharing.

[ninereasons]

Day 35

A friend of a friend lost his leg under a Harley, recently. I'm unclear about the mechanics of it, but it happened somehow after he dropped the bike going no faster than 30, in an attempt to avoid another vehicle. A couple of seconds later, out of the fourteen bones in his face twelve were broken, and one of his legs lay a couple yards distant from the rest of him.

When my wife told me about this, I prodded for details that might make the story sound more plausible. She only repeated what she heard, she assured me. Something to do with the kickstand, she said. I couldn't imagine how that would work, but every improbable picture I could conjure made me cringe.

That's what may happen to you, riding a motorcycle. It is not at all probable. "This product may cause tooth loss". The same word, "may", is used properly in both instances. The word does not imply any degree of certainty. It doesn't even carry a connotation of likelihood.

Imagine my surprise then, when after years of diligently caring for my handsome grill - brushing, flossing, rinsing - one of my molars just broke in half. And then another. And another. I had fillings, bridges, caps following one another so quickly that finally I just couldn't keep up and the pulling started - all in the last seven years or so. It's been like a slow-motion demolition. My mouth is a scene of ancient ruins.

This, or worse, may happen to you.

If you decide to continue chewing, take what comfort you can from that little word "may". You'll need it, when you bite down on the fragment of a tooth that, since your last appointment, has been transformed to the consistency of a wet Corn Nut.

[G]

Day 31

What's the worst thing about quitting?  Well - ok - the worst thing is the dread that you might cave; but set that aside.  If there's one symptom that can slam you to the mat, which is it?

I hate the insomnia, night-sweats, sleepiness, fog, munchies and dip-cravings.  I've had constipation, diarrhea, lethargy and panic-attacks.  My muscles ache, my head buzzes, my eyes throb. 

The unstable emotions are also annoying - I thought my heart was going to break watching The Fighter with my wife the other night; my chest hurt so much it felt just like I had swallowed a chicken-bone sideways.  I don't like being gripped like that.  I watched "Epic Rap Battles of History - 2" on YouTube; and, even though it's not my kind of humor, I was laughing so hard I was on the floor gulping for breath.  I like a good belly-laugh as much as anyone, but this was maniacal and frankly, unpleasant.

Unpleasant as they are, none of these can make me give chewing a second thought.  Yeah, they're no fun, but a bad case of the flu is no fun and it doesn't make me want to go suck on an infected bird or something.  I know that nic has caused all these things, and they will become less intense and finally go away over time, so I'm not going to return to the toxin for relief.

Dip-rage on the other hand ... compared to other symptoms of nicotine cessation, dip-rage is all by itself.  If all I had to deal with is those other annoyances, I might have quit for good decades ago.  But, when I quit, I am literally afraid of myself: very anxious about what I might say, or what I might do.  The worst thing is, I'm not sure that it's actually a symptom.  Is it the absence of nicotine that makes me feel like I might literally KILL someone  - or is that just the kind of person I actually am?  Is this something about which no one can tell me, "Trust me, it gets better"?

Anger has the strangest effect on me when I'm not using.  When something gets my goat, someone interrupts me when I'm trying to make a point, someone turns into my lane without checking to see if they're past me, someone gets angry with me - it doesn't take a real reason - I suddenly feel as though I'm right back in the heaviest fog of days 1-4.  I can not think straight.  I have changed into Hulk and me not me.  Me become death, crusher of worlds! AAAAAaaaggggHHHH!

I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about it, but in all seriousness, the problem is severe enough that I'm going to have to get real low and ask a psychiatrist about it.  I hate talking to those people about their magical $50/pill solutions to life's ups and downs.  Anger management classes?  Something. 

No plan for me to stay quit can exclude dealing with the anger problem.  It's the one factor that, in the past, even after a year or more of being quit, has always made me doubt whether staying clean is worth it.

-- edit --

I don't like where I left that.  I have to put my other foot down.

My wife begged me once to start chewing again.  She didn't say "Please start dipping", instead it was "I'm afraid of you".  That person she's afraid of ... I don't want to be that person.  That's why this addict always went back.  It's a powerful rationalization - capable of overcoming any of my fears of cancer or early death.

I also don't want to use tobacco.  I need to be quit.  So, to be quit, it needs to be a matter of choosing who I want to be: because that is the ultimate rationalization - does this make sense?

I don't make many promises.  I don't trust myself to keep them, if they become numerous.  But from now on I'm making one promise to you strangers today, each day.  I promise not to use tobacco today.  For that to work, I need to want to be a man of my word as much as I want to overcome any issues of anger that in the past I ever imagined tobacco to help me with.  Now, in order to be the man I want to be - whether handling anger or keeping my promises - caving is no longer an option; I have to find another way.   

At last, the ultimate rationalization is on my team, against nicotine.

Nine,

I cant give you a lengthy reply as I am out the door for work, however I am just going to try to encourage you to hang in there for TODAY and this weekend...Do what you got to do to stay quit, even if it means talking to a professional. There's a reason why they are called doctors, so don't be discouraged.
I'm proud to be quit with you, and I hope you get to feeling better soon!
I'll be glad to exchange #'s with you if you want.

No shame in seeking help. We have one target. Do what is necessary to remain nicotine free...today. Although your avatar screams "I drive a stalker van" and "put the lotion in the basket," my number is yours if you'd like it. I enjoy reading your writing, so I'll take the risk.

Maybe a martial arts class would help relieve some of the anger. You get to punch and kick folks. Whatever you do, the nic whore deserves no mercy.

[nomosko]

Day 31

What's the worst thing about quitting?  Well - ok - the worst thing is the dread that you might cave; but set that aside.  If there's one symptom that can slam you to the mat, which is it?

I hate the insomnia, night-sweats, sleepiness, fog, munchies and dip-cravings.  I've had constipation, diarrhea, lethargy and panic-attacks.  My muscles ache, my head buzzes, my eyes throb. 

The unstable emotions are also annoying - I thought my heart was going to break watching The Fighter with my wife the other night; my chest hurt so much it felt just like I had swallowed a chicken-bone sideways.  I don't like being gripped like that.  I watched "Epic Rap Battles of History - 2" on YouTube; and, even though it's not my kind of humor, I was laughing so hard I was on the floor gulping for breath.  I like a good belly-laugh as much as anyone, but this was maniacal and frankly, unpleasant.

Unpleasant as they are, none of these can make me give chewing a second thought.  Yeah, they're no fun, but a bad case of the flu is no fun and it doesn't make me want to go suck on an infected bird or something.  I know that nic has caused all these things, and they will become less intense and finally go away over time, so I'm not going to return to the toxin for relief.

Dip-rage on the other hand ... compared to other symptoms of nicotine cessation, dip-rage is all by itself.  If all I had to deal with is those other annoyances, I might have quit for good decades ago.  But, when I quit, I am literally afraid of myself: very anxious about what I might say, or what I might do.  The worst thing is, I'm not sure that it's actually a symptom.  Is it the absence of nicotine that makes me feel like I might literally KILL someone  - or is that just the kind of person I actually am?  Is this something about which no one can tell me, "Trust me, it gets better"?

Anger has the strangest effect on me when I'm not using.  When something gets my goat, someone interrupts me when I'm trying to make a point, someone turns into my lane without checking to see if they're past me, someone gets angry with me - it doesn't take a real reason - I suddenly feel as though I'm right back in the heaviest fog of days 1-4.  I can not think straight.  I have changed into Hulk and me not me.  Me become death, crusher of worlds! AAAAAaaaggggHHHH!

I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about it, but in all seriousness, the problem is severe enough that I'm going to have to get real low and ask a psychiatrist about it.  I hate talking to those people about their magical $50/pill solutions to life's ups and downs.  Anger management classes?  Something. 

No plan for me to stay quit can exclude dealing with the anger problem.  It's the one factor that, in the past, even after a year or more of being quit, has always made me doubt whether staying clean is worth it.

-- edit --

I don't like where I left that.  I have to put my other foot down.

My wife begged me once to start chewing again.  She didn't say "Please start dipping", instead it was "I'm afraid of you".  That person she's afraid of ... I don't want to be that person.  That's why this addict always went back.  It's a powerful rationalization - capable of overcoming any of my fears of cancer or early death.

I also don't want to use tobacco.  I need to be quit.  So, to be quit, it needs to be a matter of choosing who I want to be: because that is the ultimate rationalization - does this make sense?

I don't make many promises.  I don't trust myself to keep them, if they become numerous.  But from now on I'm making one promise to you strangers today, each day.  I promise not to use tobacco today.  For that to work, I need to want to be a man of my word as much as I want to overcome any issues of anger that in the past I ever imagined tobacco to help me with.  Now, in order to be the man I want to be - whether handling anger or keeping my promises - caving is no longer an option; I have to find another way.   

At last, the ultimate rationalization is on my team, against nicotine.

Nine,

I cant give you a lengthy reply as I am out the door for work, however I am just going to try to encourage you to hang in there for TODAY and this weekend...Do what you got to do to stay quit, even if it means talking to a professional. There's a reason why they are called doctors, so don't be discouraged.
I'm proud to be quit with you, and I hope you get to feeling better soon!
I'll be glad to exchange #'s with you if you want.

This is my feeling about this. In my case I have come to the conclusion that I must have hated myself quite a bit to stuff my face with a can of death a day. Nicotine gave me a false sense of control of things I couldn't control or didn't want to deal with. Without nicotine in my brain I believe I am more willing to speak my mind about what is truly bothering me. Does this make me an asshole? Sometimes it does. However, I think I was a bigger asshole when I was hiding behind nicotine. Stay strong!!! Stay quit!!!!! While it is frustrating I have yet to see one veteran say it only gets worse. Better days are coming for us all if we can stay quit one day at a time.

Now here is my question. Am I the only one that is more scared than angry when someone caves with hundreds of days quit. I am only at day 41 and it is a daily battle. At day 400 + am I still not going to be able to go into a convenience store alone because I don't trust myself?

[Larry Drummer]

Day 31

What's the worst thing about quitting? Well - ok - the worst thing is the dread that you might cave; but set that aside. If there's one symptom that can slam you to the mat, which is it?

I hate the insomnia, night-sweats, sleepiness, fog, munchies and dip-cravings. I've had constipation, diarrhea, lethargy and panic-attacks. My muscles ache, my head buzzes, my eyes throb.

The unstable emotions are also annoying - I thought my heart was going to break watching The Fighter with my wife the other night; my chest hurt so much it felt just like I had swallowed a chicken-bone sideways. I don't like being gripped like that. I watched "Epic Rap Battles of History - 2" on YouTube; and, even though it's not my kind of humor, I was laughing so hard I was on the floor gulping for breath. I like a good belly-laugh as much as anyone, but this was maniacal and frankly, unpleasant.

Unpleasant as they are, none of these can make me give chewing a second thought. Yeah, they're no fun, but a bad case of the flu is no fun and it doesn't make me want to go suck on an infected bird or something. I know that nic has caused all these things, and they will become less intense and finally go away over time, so I'm not going to return to the toxin for relief.

Dip-rage on the other hand ... compared to other symptoms of nicotine cessation, dip-rage is all by itself. If all I had to deal with is those other annoyances, I might have quit for good decades ago. But, when I quit, I am literally afraid of myself: very anxious about what I might say, or what I might do. The worst thing is, I'm not sure that it's actually a symptom. Is it the absence of nicotine that makes me feel like I might literally KILL someone - or is that just the kind of person I actually am? Is this something about which no one can tell me, "Trust me, it gets better"?

Anger has the strangest effect on me when I'm not using. When something gets my goat, someone interrupts me when I'm trying to make a point, someone turns into my lane without checking to see if they're past me, someone gets angry with me - it doesn't take a real reason - I suddenly feel as though I'm right back in the heaviest fog of days 1-4. I can not think straight. I have changed into Hulk and me not me. Me become death, crusher of worlds! AAAAAaaaggggHHHH!

I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about it, but in all seriousness, the problem is severe enough that I'm going to have to get real low and ask a psychiatrist about it. I hate talking to those people about their magical $50/pill solutions to life's ups and downs. Anger management classes? Something.

No plan for me to stay quit can exclude dealing with the anger problem. It's the one factor that, in the past, even after a year or more of being quit, has always made me doubt whether staying clean is worth it.

-- edit --

I don't like where I left that. I have to put my other foot down.

My wife begged me once to start chewing again. She didn't say "Please start dipping", instead it was "I'm afraid of you". That person she's afraid of ... I don't want to be that person. That's why this addict always went back. It's a powerful rationalization - capable of overcoming any of my fears of cancer or early death.

I also don't want to use tobacco. I need to be quit. So, to be quit, it needs to be a matter of choosing who I want to be: because that is the ultimate rationalization - does this make sense?

I don't make many promises. I don't trust myself to keep them, if they become numerous. But from now on I'm making one promise to you strangers today, each day. I promise not to use tobacco today. For that to work, I need to want to be a man of my word as much as I want to overcome any issues of anger that in the past I ever imagined tobacco to help me with. Now, in order to be the man I want to be - whether handling anger or keeping my promises - caving is no longer an option; I have to find another way.

At last, the ultimate rationalization is on my team, against nicotine.

Nine,

I cant give you a lengthy reply as I am out the door for work, however I am just going to try to encourage you to hang in there for TODAY and this weekend...Do what you got to do to stay quit, even if it means talking to a professional. There's a reason why they are called doctors, so don't be discouraged.
I'm proud to be quit with you, and I hope you get to feeling better soon!
I'll be glad to exchange #'s with you if you want.

[ninereasons]

Day 31

What's the worst thing about quitting? Well - ok - the worst thing is the dread that you might cave; but set that aside. If there's one symptom that can slam you to the mat, which is it?

I hate the insomnia, night-sweats, sleepiness, fog, munchies and dip-cravings. I've had constipation, diarrhea, lethargy and panic-attacks. My muscles ache, my head buzzes, my eyes throb.

The unstable emotions are also annoying - I thought my heart was going to break watching The Fighter with my wife the other night; my chest hurt so much it felt just like I had swallowed a chicken-bone sideways. I don't like being gripped like that. I watched "Epic Rap Battles of History - 2" on YouTube; and, even though it's not my kind of humor, I was laughing so hard I was on the floor gulping for breath. I like a good belly-laugh as much as anyone, but this was maniacal and frankly, unpleasant.

Unpleasant as they are, none of these can make me give chewing a second thought. Yeah, they're no fun, but a bad case of the flu is no fun and it doesn't make me want to go suck on an infected bird or something. I know that nic has caused all these things, and they will become less intense and finally go away over time, so I'm not going to return to the toxin for relief.

Dip-rage on the other hand ... compared to other symptoms of nicotine cessation, dip-rage is all by itself. If all I had to deal with is those other annoyances, I might have quit for good decades ago. But, when I quit, I am literally afraid of myself: very anxious about what I might say, or what I might do. The worst thing is, I'm not sure that it's actually a symptom. Is it the absence of nicotine that makes me feel like I might literally KILL someone - or is that just the kind of person I actually am? Is this something about which no one can tell me, "Trust me, it gets better"?

Anger has the strangest effect on me when I'm not using. When something gets my goat, someone interrupts me when I'm trying to make a point, someone turns into my lane without checking to see if they're past me, someone gets angry with me - it doesn't take a real reason - I suddenly feel as though I'm right back in the heaviest fog of days 1-4. I can not think straight. I have changed into Hulk and me not me. Me become death, crusher of worlds! AAAAAaaaggggHHHH!

I'm trying to keep a sense of humor about it, but in all seriousness, the problem is severe enough that I'm going to have to get real low and ask a psychiatrist about it. I hate talking to those people about their magical $50/pill solutions to life's ups and downs. Anger management classes? Something.

No plan for me to stay quit can exclude dealing with the anger problem. It's the one factor that, in the past, even after a year or more of being quit, has always made me doubt whether staying clean is worth it.

-- edit --

I don't like where I left that. I have to put my other foot down.

My wife begged me once to start chewing again. She didn't say "Please start dipping", instead it was "I'm afraid of you". That person she's afraid of ... I don't want to be that person. That's why this addict always went back. It's a powerful rationalization - capable of overcoming any of my fears of cancer or early death.

I also don't want to use tobacco. I need to be quit. So, to be quit, it needs to be a matter of choosing who I want to be: because that is the ultimate rationalization - does this make sense?

I don't make many promises. I don't trust myself to keep them, if they become numerous. But from now on I'm making one promise to you strangers today, each day. I promise not to use tobacco today. For that to work, I need to want to be a man of my word as much as I want to overcome any issues of anger that in the past I ever imagined tobacco to help me with. Now, in order to be the man I want to be - whether handling anger or keeping my promises - caving is no longer an option; I have to find another way.

At last, the ultimate rationalization is on my team, against nicotine.

[Souliman]

Way to go nine. I had the same feeling about the fake...I ran out and just didn't need it.

Congrats on being quit and thanks for all that you do.

[ninereasons]

For the weekend I've had less coffee and sweets, and I've been a little more self-conscious about how much salt I'm eating. The buzz hasn't gone away completely, but I think it's not as bad and it's definitely less distracting.

I didn't buy more fake snuff after I ran out. I might buy some, later, but I don't want to. I've only been a couple of days without it, but I feel more quit when there's nothing between my cheek and gum and yet I have no craving.

Ninereasons - Day 28 - Crawl, stand, walk ...

[KTM640]

Weird times, these past few days.  I've had several moments when my heart beats fast, and I feel like I'm going in and out of focus, or like the world is wobbly. 

But the quit is still a bright and steady light ahead of me.  No looking back.

Ninereasons Day 23 of getting used to normal

All part of the battle my brothers. These things will come and go over the weeks. Each time it gets a bit better. Trust me though, you have no idea how much better things get. I am by no means a vet. I am brand new to the HOF. Not far ahead of you guys. I'm not going to lie and say there are no craves at 102 days. But they are few and far between and pretty easy to beat. Just keep at it heroes! Stay the course, better days are very close. It is soooooooo worth it!

Congratulations on reaching the big milestone, jcook. It makes it seem a lot closer for us when you guys stay to cheer us on after you've become famous. Thanks for that.

I had the same thing nine, actually had a panic attack , thought I was having a heart attack and drove my dumb ass to the hospital. Nicotine wreaks all sorts of havoc on the mind and the body. Your body is still recovering. I ended up talking to the family doc and getting some anti anxiety meds in the beginning. One thing that won't help is caving in. Just take it slow, stay in your fox hole and reach for help if you need it.

The fake stuff, gum, seeds, sweets and salt drops so completely handle my craving at this point in my quit that the thought of caving is rare and weak. But I'm doing a poor job of watching what I'm compulsively ingesting to keep cravings few and short I'm out of whack.

If this strange "buzzed", "unreal" feeling doesn't go away, I should probably get my blood pressure checked or something so that the doctor can tell me to cut down on sugar and salt.

You're right - this also is all part of recovering from the damage of decades of nicotine abuse, and keeping that in mind keeps me off the ledge.

That 'fog' is something we all experience. No problem. Sounds weird, but I looked at it like a scientist from the outside in and that helped because now it was kinda cool and interesting instead of being concerning. It's not concerning, nine. It's totally normal. It will go away.

I had one kind of fog earlier. This is different. A different phase of fog. :blink:

But I'm confident it will go away.

Explain different.

For months it was like a light weed high. Or how you get a small headrush when you stand up and yawn?

This went on for many many months. It was a weird feeling indeed.

Weed high...that's a good descriptor. I always felt a dull but steady head buzz....like you might feel after drinking 3 pots of Starbucks dark roast.......with the added feeling of being about 2" above and slightly left of my body.

Yeah...that last part is weird. :blink:

curious, me too. I thought I was imagining it for a long time. IT still comes and goes, has to be chemical- maybe adrenaline or cortisol????

That is the best description of it that I have read. I always just chalked it up to my brain re-wiring itself and healing. Regardless, I'll take that feeling over the guilt I felt from still using. Stay in it gentlemen!

This is a great discussion and for the dizziness/fog I have had it for some time. Just in the last week and a half did it almost totally go away? Now I'm on anti-depression/anxiety drugs dizziness is a side affect so it is slightly back as of today (I will take the fog/dizzy feeling over a panic attack any day). If you search some of my old post you will see I have also been dealing with some other health issue (Nothing to bad found yet and not expected to). Over all, I quit around the same time my health issue started so the quitting the Nic bitch amplified my symptoms tenfold (that my story and I'm sticking to it). The doctors found that my thyroid is all out of whack and it takes time to get adjusted. In the mean time I have been scanned and tested for a number of things and due to the stress of quitting and anxiety how ever you deal with it can cause your neck muscle to get tight and you don't even know it. This is where some of my dizziness has come from in my opinion. For me it has been and anxiety and symptom packed ride during an ongoing for my quit but I'm determined to stay quit. My wife says she knows this quit day by day is going to work because she has seen that I have had been scared straight and she can tell the difference from the times I have tried before. Take it from me it does get better to even where I have had days that felt like I could run 100 miles then the next week felt like day 1 again. I also agree with the fact your brain is re-wiring it's self since Nic was our anxiety/comfort in a can it would stand to reason that is why the anxiety meds have a side effect of dizziness listed. Stay strong man and good to quit with everyone today.

KTM640

[jcook]

Weird times, these past few days.  I've had several moments when my heart beats fast, and I feel like I'm going in and out of focus, or like the world is wobbly. 

But the quit is still a bright and steady light ahead of me.  No looking back.

Ninereasons Day 23 of getting used to normal

All part of the battle my brothers. These things will come and go over the weeks. Each time it gets a bit better. Trust me though, you have no idea how much better things get. I am by no means a vet. I am brand new to the HOF. Not far ahead of you guys. I'm not going to lie and say there are no craves at 102 days. But they are few and far between and pretty easy to beat. Just keep at it heroes! Stay the course, better days are very close. It is soooooooo worth it!

Congratulations on reaching the big milestone, jcook. It makes it seem a lot closer for us when you guys stay to cheer us on after you've become famous. Thanks for that.

I had the same thing nine, actually had a panic attack , thought I was having a heart attack and drove my dumb ass to the hospital. Nicotine wreaks all sorts of havoc on the mind and the body. Your body is still recovering. I ended up talking to the family doc and getting some anti anxiety meds in the beginning. One thing that won't help is caving in. Just take it slow, stay in your fox hole and reach for help if you need it.

The fake stuff, gum, seeds, sweets and salt drops so completely handle my craving at this point in my quit that the thought of caving is rare and weak. But I'm doing a poor job of watching what I'm compulsively ingesting to keep cravings few and short I'm out of whack.

If this strange "buzzed", "unreal" feeling doesn't go away, I should probably get my blood pressure checked or something so that the doctor can tell me to cut down on sugar and salt.

You're right - this also is all part of recovering from the damage of decades of nicotine abuse, and keeping that in mind keeps me off the ledge.

That 'fog' is something we all experience. No problem. Sounds weird, but I looked at it like a scientist from the outside in and that helped because now it was kinda cool and interesting instead of being concerning. It's not concerning, nine. It's totally normal. It will go away.

I had one kind of fog earlier. This is different. A different phase of fog. :blink:

But I'm confident it will go away.

Explain different.

For months it was like a light weed high. Or how you get a small headrush when you stand up and yawn?

This went on for many many months. It was a weird feeling indeed.

Weed high...that's a good descriptor. I always felt a dull but steady head buzz....like you might feel after drinking 3 pots of Starbucks dark roast.......with the added feeling of being about 2" above and slightly left of my body.

Yeah...that last part is weird. :blink:

curious, me too. I thought I was imagining it for a long time. IT still comes and goes, has to be chemical- maybe adrenaline or cortisol????

That is the best description of it that I have read. I always just chalked it up to my brain re-wiring itself and healing. Regardless, I'll take that feeling over the guilt I felt from still using. Stay in it gentlemen!

[Skoal Monster]

Weird times, these past few days.  I've had several moments when my heart beats fast, and I feel like I'm going in and out of focus, or like the world is wobbly. 

But the quit is still a bright and steady light ahead of me.  No looking back.

Ninereasons Day 23 of getting used to normal

All part of the battle my brothers. These things will come and go over the weeks. Each time it gets a bit better. Trust me though, you have no idea how much better things get. I am by no means a vet. I am brand new to the HOF. Not far ahead of you guys. I'm not going to lie and say there are no craves at 102 days. But they are few and far between and pretty easy to beat. Just keep at it heroes! Stay the course, better days are very close. It is soooooooo worth it!

Congratulations on reaching the big milestone, jcook. It makes it seem a lot closer for us when you guys stay to cheer us on after you've become famous. Thanks for that.

I had the same thing nine, actually had a panic attack , thought I was having a heart attack and drove my dumb ass to the hospital. Nicotine wreaks all sorts of havoc on the mind and the body. Your body is still recovering. I ended up talking to the family doc and getting some anti anxiety meds in the beginning. One thing that won't help is caving in. Just take it slow, stay in your fox hole and reach for help if you need it.

The fake stuff, gum, seeds, sweets and salt drops so completely handle my craving at this point in my quit that the thought of caving is rare and weak. But I'm doing a poor job of watching what I'm compulsively ingesting to keep cravings few and short I'm out of whack.

If this strange "buzzed", "unreal" feeling doesn't go away, I should probably get my blood pressure checked or something so that the doctor can tell me to cut down on sugar and salt.

You're right - this also is all part of recovering from the damage of decades of nicotine abuse, and keeping that in mind keeps me off the ledge.

That 'fog' is something we all experience. No problem. Sounds weird, but I looked at it like a scientist from the outside in and that helped because now it was kinda cool and interesting instead of being concerning. It's not concerning, nine. It's totally normal. It will go away.

I had one kind of fog earlier. This is different. A different phase of fog. :blink:

But I'm confident it will go away.

Explain different.

For months it was like a light weed high. Or how you get a small headrush when you stand up and yawn?

This went on for many many months. It was a weird feeling indeed.

Weed high...that's a good descriptor. I always felt a dull but steady head buzz....like you might feel after drinking 3 pots of Starbucks dark roast.......with the added feeling of being about 2" above and slightly left of my body.

Yeah...that last part is weird. :blink:

curious, me too. I thought I was imagining it for a long time. IT still comes and goes, has to be chemical- maybe adrenaline or cortisol????

[redtrain14]

Weird times, these past few days.  I've had several moments when my heart beats fast, and I feel like I'm going in and out of focus, or like the world is wobbly. 

But the quit is still a bright and steady light ahead of me.  No looking back.

Ninereasons Day 23 of getting used to normal

All part of the battle my brothers. These things will come and go over the weeks. Each time it gets a bit better. Trust me though, you have no idea how much better things get. I am by no means a vet. I am brand new to the HOF. Not far ahead of you guys. I'm not going to lie and say there are no craves at 102 days. But they are few and far between and pretty easy to beat. Just keep at it heroes! Stay the course, better days are very close. It is soooooooo worth it!

Congratulations on reaching the big milestone, jcook. It makes it seem a lot closer for us when you guys stay to cheer us on after you've become famous. Thanks for that.

I had the same thing nine, actually had a panic attack , thought I was having a heart attack and drove my dumb ass to the hospital. Nicotine wreaks all sorts of havoc on the mind and the body. Your body is still recovering. I ended up talking to the family doc and getting some anti anxiety meds in the beginning. One thing that won't help is caving in. Just take it slow, stay in your fox hole and reach for help if you need it.

The fake stuff, gum, seeds, sweets and salt drops so completely handle my craving at this point in my quit that the thought of caving is rare and weak. But I'm doing a poor job of watching what I'm compulsively ingesting to keep cravings few and short I'm out of whack.

If this strange "buzzed", "unreal" feeling doesn't go away, I should probably get my blood pressure checked or something so that the doctor can tell me to cut down on sugar and salt.

You're right - this also is all part of recovering from the damage of decades of nicotine abuse, and keeping that in mind keeps me off the ledge.

That 'fog' is something we all experience. No problem. Sounds weird, but I looked at it like a scientist from the outside in and that helped because now it was kinda cool and interesting instead of being concerning. It's not concerning, nine. It's totally normal. It will go away.

I had one kind of fog earlier. This is different. A different phase of fog. :blink:

But I'm confident it will go away.

Explain different.

For months it was like a light weed high. Or how you get a small headrush when you stand up and yawn?

This went on for many many months. It was a weird feeling indeed.

Weed high...that's a good descriptor. I always felt a dull but steady head buzz....like you might feel after drinking 3 pots of Starbucks dark roast.......with the added feeling of being about 2" above and slightly left of my body.

Yeah...that last part is weird. :blink:

[loot]

Weird times, these past few days.  I've had several moments when my heart beats fast, and I feel like I'm going in and out of focus, or like the world is wobbly. 

But the quit is still a bright and steady light ahead of me.  No looking back.

Ninereasons Day 23 of getting used to normal

All part of the battle my brothers. These things will come and go over the weeks. Each time it gets a bit better. Trust me though, you have no idea how much better things get. I am by no means a vet. I am brand new to the HOF. Not far ahead of you guys. I'm not going to lie and say there are no craves at 102 days. But they are few and far between and pretty easy to beat. Just keep at it heroes! Stay the course, better days are very close. It is soooooooo worth it!

Congratulations on reaching the big milestone, jcook. It makes it seem a lot closer for us when you guys stay to cheer us on after you've become famous. Thanks for that.

I had the same thing nine, actually had a panic attack , thought I was having a heart attack and drove my dumb ass to the hospital. Nicotine wreaks all sorts of havoc on the mind and the body. Your body is still recovering. I ended up talking to the family doc and getting some anti anxiety meds in the beginning. One thing that won't help is caving in. Just take it slow, stay in your fox hole and reach for help if you need it.

The fake stuff, gum, seeds, sweets and salt drops so completely handle my craving at this point in my quit that the thought of caving is rare and weak. But I'm doing a poor job of watching what I'm compulsively ingesting to keep cravings few and short I'm out of whack.

If this strange "buzzed", "unreal" feeling doesn't go away, I should probably get my blood pressure checked or something so that the doctor can tell me to cut down on sugar and salt.

You're right - this also is all part of recovering from the damage of decades of nicotine abuse, and keeping that in mind keeps me off the ledge.

That 'fog' is something we all experience. No problem. Sounds weird, but I looked at it like a scientist from the outside in and that helped because now it was kinda cool and interesting instead of being concerning. It's not concerning, nine. It's totally normal. It will go away.

I had one kind of fog earlier. This is different. A different phase of fog. :blink:

But I'm confident it will go away.

Explain different.

For months it was like a light weed high. Or how you get a small headrush when you stand up and yawn?

This went on for many many months. It was a weird feeling indeed.

[bman50317]

Weird times, these past few days.  I've had several moments when my heart beats fast, and I feel like I'm going in and out of focus, or like the world is wobbly. 

But the quit is still a bright and steady light ahead of me.  No looking back.

Ninereasons Day 23 of getting used to normal

All part of the battle my brothers. These things will come and go over the weeks. Each time it gets a bit better. Trust me though, you have no idea how much better things get. I am by no means a vet. I am brand new to the HOF. Not far ahead of you guys. I'm not going to lie and say there are no craves at 102 days. But they are few and far between and pretty easy to beat. Just keep at it heroes! Stay the course, better days are very close. It is soooooooo worth it!

Congratulations on reaching the big milestone, jcook. It makes it seem a lot closer for us when you guys stay to cheer us on after you've become famous. Thanks for that.

I had the same thing nine, actually had a panic attack , thought I was having a heart attack and drove my dumb ass to the hospital. Nicotine wreaks all sorts of havoc on the mind and the body. Your body is still recovering. I ended up talking to the family doc and getting some anti anxiety meds in the beginning. One thing that won't help is caving in. Just take it slow, stay in your fox hole and reach for help if you need it.

The fake stuff, gum, seeds, sweets and salt drops so completely handle my craving at this point in my quit that the thought of caving is rare and weak. But I'm doing a poor job of watching what I'm compulsively ingesting to keep cravings few and short I'm out of whack.

If this strange "buzzed", "unreal" feeling doesn't go away, I should probably get my blood pressure checked or something so that the doctor can tell me to cut down on sugar and salt.

You're right - this also is all part of recovering from the damage of decades of nicotine abuse, and keeping that in mind keeps me off the ledge.

That 'fog' is something we all experience. No problem. Sounds weird, but I looked at it like a scientist from the outside in and that helped because now it was kinda cool and interesting instead of being concerning. It's not concerning, nine. It's totally normal. It will go away.

I had one kind of fog earlier. This is different. A different phase of fog. :blink:

But I'm confident it will go away.

Explain different.